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From: rcj@burl.UUCP (Curtis Jackson)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Asking for that first date
Message-ID: <1076@burl.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 3-Mar-86 19:40:07 EST
Article-I.D.: burl.1076
Posted: Mon Mar  3 19:40:07 1986
Date-Received: Tue, 4-Mar-86 05:31:51 EST
References: <492@ssc-bee.UUCP>
Reply-To: rcj@burl.UUCP (Curtis Jackson)
Distribution: na
Organization: AT&T Technologies, Burlington NC
Lines: 42
Summary: 

In article <492@ssc-bee.UUCP> fuji@ssc-bee.UUCP (Glen T Fujimori) writes:
>I am astounded (perhaps naive) that someone would (or could) say 'no' when 
>they really mean 'yes'. Would some of the women out there who use this 
>technique please explain to the newsgroup the rationale behind it? This is not 
>a flame, I would genuinely like to understand; if I could learn to recognize 
>it then I just might ask a second time! :-)

Well, I ain't no girl (much less a woman), but I think I can answer this
one at least partially.  It is a game, of course, and one of the most fun
and at the same time most potentially frustrating ones I ever get a chance
to play.  There are four basic "no" answers (with a lot of gray in between):

a) "no" meaning "yes".  In my experience, the type of men that get this type
   of "no" are the type who already know they can push their luck and get
   away with it -- you know, Adonis & Co.  And the type of women who give this
   answer are well aware of the above *and* are the type that Adonis will
   persist upon -- you know, Aphrodite & Co.  Of course, sometimes the twinkle
   in her eye is so obvious that it might even be *me* she's saying it to,
   but sadly not often [enough]  :-(
b) "no" meaning "maybe".  This variety is much more common, and the "no"
   will often turn into a "yes" if you pursue a different avenue.  Something
   playful, like "OK, forget the orgy -- how about this dance instead?"
   This one is hard to recognize, but just be a sensitive kind of guy and,
   if you think it is really "maybe", give it one alternate avenue shot
   and give up politely if it fails.
c) "no" meaning "no".  By this she means, "No."  This can still be turned
   around -- when I used to dance a lot I got many definite "no"s that
   later turned into "yes"s as I danced with other people, didn't try to
   attack them [much] on the dance floor, and danced OK.  Sometimes that
   melted the "no" into a "well, I guess he's a *little* better than the
   Elephant Man"  ;-)
d) "no" meaning "*NO*!!!"  This one is self-evident, little hints being
   the decibel level of a 747 engine, accompanying physical violence to
   your person, and/or a stare that would make Oshkosh, Wisconsin in
   January seem like the Sahara in comparison.

Hope I've helped to confuse you further (not really),
-- 

The MAD Programmer -- 919-228-3313 (Cornet 291)
alias: Curtis Jackson	...![ ihnp4 ulysses cbosgd mgnetp ]!burl!rcj
			...![ ihnp4 cbosgd akgua masscomp ]!clyde!rcj