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From: lewak@sdcsvax.UUCP (George Lewak)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: The "no is forever" doctrine
Message-ID: <1503@sdcsvax.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 3-Mar-86 19:10:15 EST
Article-I.D.: sdcsvax.1503
Posted: Mon Mar  3 19:10:15 1986
Date-Received: Wed, 5-Mar-86 04:46:12 EST
References: <167@axiom.UUCP> <1271@lll-crg.ARpA> <305@unirot.UUCP> <2583@reed.UUCP>
Reply-To: 73691440@sdcc13.UUCP (Victor Romano)
Organization: U.C. San Diego, Academic Computer Center
Lines: 59
Keywords: The fun of the chase
Summary: give up soon.  Stop rape training.


(Respond to ...!sdcsvax!sdcc13!73691440.  If you do not respond there,
I probably will never see it)

>>Pooh writes:
>> If you are told "no" the first time,
>> do you give up?  Once you break up with someone, is it over for
>> good?  Is "no" forever unless proven otherwise?
>> 
>> And how do you feel about someone you have said "no" to once who refuses
>> to give up?

	If I'm told "no" on the first date, I find out if the reason
	has to do with timeliness, and if so, I ask later.  After a couple of
	a couple of times, I give up.  If I get a flat no, I give up.
	Some men and women realize that many women say "no" when they
	mean yes.  This is all true, folks.  But my philosophy says I
	do not want to get involved with those who worry too much
	about "conforming to society."

	Also, I find it rather interesting that I can ask a male out
	on a "date" (if you would call it that), and I usually don't
	get turned down, unless he's busy, which means I can go with
	him somewhere.  There seems to be this notion that if I ask a
	woman, it means I want to have sex.  Thus, if she is not
	interested in a sexual relationship, she will likely say no.
	This makes it hard to make female friends.  It also gives many
	females the impression that males are "just after sex", when
	in really, that's all the women THINK they are after.

	As far as question #2:  I have never been in the situation.
	Also, if someone were that interested in getting to know me, I
	certainly would be willing (and inclined) to give them a
	chance.  I have no reason to run away from people who like me.
	If I am not interested in sex with that person, and she is, I
	will make myself clear on that, but it's no reason not to go
	out on a "date" and be friends.

In article <2583@reed.UUCP> purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva) writes:
>	There is one definite reason that I've been tempted to say no when
>I meant yes though. That's "the thrill of the chase". I grew up watching
>old movies, and I've always dreamed of having a man who was so
>infatuated with me that even though I constantly rejected him he kept
>trying to win me over and ended up being so romantic that I couldn't
>refuse.

	Ummm... Well...  This is what I avoid.  By the way, I would
	like to point out that this is what is known as "rape
	training" (yes, a REAL term accepted as true by sociologists
	and psychologists).  The man is trained by society that "no"
	means "yes", and thus presses on.  Until this is recognized
	and acted on (ie, females are more honest), other males may
	believe they have a just cause.


			Victor
			...!sdcsvax!sdcc13!73691440

	Make my day!