Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site aesat.UUCP
Path: utzoo!aesat!matt
From: matt@aesat.UUCP (Matt Hill)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Coping with the loss of SO
Message-ID: <575@aesat.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 5-Mar-86 18:57:09 EST
Article-I.D.: aesat.575
Posted: Wed Mar  5 18:57:09 1986
Date-Received: Wed, 5-Mar-86 19:13:53 EST
Reply-To: matt@aesat.UUCP (Matt Hill)
Organization: AES Data Inc., Mississauga Ont., Canada
Lines: 57



< EAT ME EAT ME >

Back in July '85 after going through a an unwanted parting
with a SO I decided to subscribe to net.singles (since I 
qualified for the first time :-).

The separation was very painful for me and I soon found myself
trying to cope with it in different ways.

  - started playing guitar again
  - started reading poetry (specifically on love and losing it)
  - reading what others thought about love
  - started to write a daily journal (diary if you prefer)

Of these methods of coping only playing guitar remains today.
I went back to my journal entries today to to see what I was
feeling during a particularly depressing stage.

"...so much pain in the span of one life time ... I can fully
 understand why people feel it easier to merely cut life short
 to stop any further pain.
 ... but along with the depression I know there also exists
 happiness. Today it does not seem that it could compare with
 the happiness that went before (the happiness that is now
 missed) but that will change. In times such as these the
 pain leaves in it's wake a strength that did not exist before.
 A strength that is really a cold and bitter feeling about life
 where once only sensitivity and trust existed."

I'm sure many of you will have felt similar things if you've
gone through losing a SO.

I know that "how long will it hurt" has been covered on the
net, I however am interested on how people deal (or dealt) with
the pain. 

How did you cope?
Has you outlook on life changed?
How has your opinion of yourself changed?

thanks,
Matt Hill

"It's not how many times your knocked down that count,
 it's how many times you get back up" 

-------------------------------------------------------------------
These are my own opinions, possibly shared by millions but
definitely not by AES DATA INC.

M.Hill
{allegra, ihnp4, linus, decvax}!utzoo!aesat!matt