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From: jeanette@randvax.UUCP (Jeanette Haritan)
Newsgroups: net.women,net.singles
Subject: Re: career vs. relationships
Message-ID: <79@randvax.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 3-Mar-86 16:03:56 EST
Article-I.D.: randvax.79
Posted: Mon Mar  3 16:03:56 1986
Date-Received: Fri, 7-Mar-86 03:24:56 EST
References: <125@ttidcc.UUCP> <215@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU> <1951@hao.UUCP> <138@sfsup.UUCP> <1694@utah-gr.UUCP>
Reply-To: jeanette@rand-unix.UUCP (Jeanette Haritan)
Organization: Rand Corp., Santa Monica
Lines: 70
Xref: watmath net.women:9528 net.singles:10676

>A woman who quits school when men who are more persistent get their
>degrees; a woman who accepts a lower-paying job than a man would, as a
>nurse or an elementary school teacher or a housewife; a woman who
>settles for 'being happy' instead of 'being successful'; a woman who
>puts her livelihood in the hands of men -- such a woman is going to be
>swinging from men's chains for the rest of her life.  If the men are
>nice to her, she'll be happy pickin' cotton and singin' gospel music;
>if the men are hard on her, THERE WON'T BE A DAMNED THING SHE CAN DO
>ABOUT IT.
>
I CAN understand what you are saying...but WHO said they would take a
lower-paying job than a man?  There are MANY men and women who make more
than I do, however, if, at my job, a man started work at the same time as
me, as a secretary, same experience, similar duties...you bet your sweet
a** I would complain...or forge ahead.  Quite frankly, I AM MAD (although
I try hard not to be :-)).  I am tired of SOME people thinking that I should
feel belittled because I'm not an engineer, doctor, lawyer (yet!), etc.

Fine, lable gratification in terms of professional status and salary.  But
what about the real gratification?  How do you think a teacher (all
levels) feels when h/she completed a day of work KNOWING that she ACTUALLY
benefitted young people.  Can you truly consider this person
unseccessful?  Sure, h/she's not making nearly as much as alot of you out
there and its a damn shame...h/she desirves it.  But h/she DID SOMETHING
GREAT...doesn't anyone care about that?  Is teaching not successful?

Or about the nurse...the person who you ACTUALLY SEE during your hospital
visit?  I don't know what goes into the nursing profession, but I DO know
that when I had my babies, it wasn't the doctor who I screamed for (well,
it hurts!), and it wasn't the doctor who provided much needed comfort.
And it wasn't the doctor who gave the woman in the next bed (after a
C-section) the medication.  IT WASN'T THE DOCTOR WHO SAID "CALL IF YOU
NEED ANYTHING".  Who was that masked man, anyway?

Or the secretary (yup...thats me!), who in most cases is the right hand man
to the boss.  I've seen bosses who panicked when their secretaries were
out.  SOME of these people simply could not do it without their secs.

Or the housewife?  This is where I am MOST defensive.  My mom was/is a
domestic engineer.  She was THE STRENGTH when my father was in Vietnam
(lets talk about Vietnam...another defensive subject!!) I don't know many
people out there who could watch the news EVERY NIGHT, seeing what was
going on in Khe Sanh, knowing that your four children could very well be
without a father within the next few minutes, and you without your
husband, and NOT GO CRAZY.  The GOOD?  How about being able to watch your
kids grow up.  In today's society, no matter what one's income (greater
income, greater expenses) it seems MOST married people rely on two
salaries.  Although there are those of us who can get by without two
incomes, it does cause a strain, therefore, there are those of us who are
MISSING what most of our mothers were able to have.

If SOME people want to talk about STRENGTH, not to mention gratification,
look at the above.  If you do not consider the above worthwhile...fine,
I already know your opinion...but flame away anyhow.

The people (most of you who are active on this group, it seems) have made it,
or are close to it.  THAT IS GREAT.  You desirve admiration.  But for Gods
sake, is it your right not to include those who are of lower job status
simply because YOU think that nursing is demeaning?, or housewifing is
lazy?, or secretaries get chased around their chairs by bosses?.  YOU
ARE WRONG.

>Does this sound any better when a man says it?

A little...you left out the "you're not creative" "you don't impress me"
"think lady think" "bullshit" "turnabout is fair play" "I'm better than
you because I earn *&( bucks and I live alone and can do any damn thing
I want" crap.  But it did sting.

jlh