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From: ahearn@convex.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: those damned men
Message-ID: <42200027@convex>
Date: Tue, 4-Mar-86 16:56:00 EST
Article-I.D.: convex.42200027
Posted: Tue Mar  4 16:56:00 1986
Date-Received: Fri, 7-Mar-86 04:15:05 EST
Lines: 35
Nf-ID: #N:convex:42200027:000:1533
Nf-From: convex.UUCP!ahearn    Mar  4 15:56:00 1986



I agree with many of the recent comments regarding mens's relative
lack of ability to realate well with women in terms of touch and
emotional sensitivity. My experience, at least, has been that while
I talk a good line about emotional sensitivity, in practice I'm 
usually pretty slow to pick up emotional signals. I've also found
that while I'm comfortable relating sexually to the women I've dated,
I'm pretty awkward in the art of everyday touch. 

It seems to me that the real questions, at least to men, are:

1. How do you go about developing these parts of your personality?
   How do you teach a city boy to find his way through the woods?
   What do you do with a city boy if half of the world's population
   expects him to _know_ how to find his way through the woods?

2. If women recognize these types of problems so consistently, why
   are they often unwilling to give the men they're involved with
   the benefit of the doubt? (My last relationship ended for precisely
   the reasons we're talking about here and, believe me, I could have
   used some more feedback.)

3. If women have the right to expect men to learn and respect the subtleties
   of their natures, don't men have the right to expect the same type
   of understanding and willingness to learn?

4. What does a man learn to look for, if he's interested in catching
   troubles in this area early on?

I'd be real interested in hearing what others have to say. Good topic.

Joe Ahearn
Convex Computers
{allegra, ihnp4, uiucds, ctvax}!convex!ahearn