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From: terry@nrcvax.UUCP (Terry Grevstad)
Newsgroups: net.women,net.singles
Subject: Re: career vs. relationships
Message-ID: <530@nrcvax.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 4-Mar-86 18:07:11 EST
Article-I.D.: nrcvax.530
Posted: Tue Mar  4 18:07:11 1986
Date-Received: Fri, 7-Mar-86 08:34:11 EST
References: <125@ttidcc.UUCP> <215@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU> <1951@hao.UUCP> <138@sfsup.UUCP> <1694@utah-gr.UUCP>
Reply-To: terry@nrcvax.UUCP (Terry Grevstad)
Organization: Network Research Research Corp.  Oxnard,CA
Lines: 71
Xref: watmath net.women:9575 net.singles:10730

donn@utah-gr.UUCP says:
>A woman who quits school when men who are more persistent get their
>degrees; a woman who accepts a lower-paying job than a man would, as a
>nurse or an elementary school teacher or a housewife; a woman who
>settles for 'being happy' instead of 'being successful'; a woman who
>puts her livelihood in the hands of men -- such a woman is going to be
>swinging from men's chains for the rest of her life.  If the men are
>nice to her, she'll be happy pickin' cotton and singin' gospel music;
>if the men are hard on her, THERE WON'T BE A DAMNED THING SHE CAN DO
>ABOUT IT.
>
>This society teaches its men to be independent.  Mothers tell their
>sons, 'Johnny, if you don't do well in school you won't be able to get
>a job when you grow up.' Fathers say, 'Get a job, son.  A REAL job.'
>Daughters are indulged.  They are directed to take dance classes
>instead of advanced algebra, art appreciation instead of physics, home
>ec instead of shop.  Don't get me wrong -- this world has a place for
>excellent dancers and great artists.  But how many of these girls who
>took dance are going to become professional dancers?  How many will
>become mathematicians, engineers, auto mechanics?  How many will be
>able to dictate the course of their future careers?  Every last one of
>those girls who settled for something less than the boys did is
>contributing to the stereotype which (SOME) men use to oppress truly
>competitive women.  That stereotype says, women aren't serious about
>their futures, we can't count on women to be as determined on the job
>as men, they never persevere.
>
>Does this sound any better when a man says it?


Frankly, no it does not.  Because I don't believe all those things you
said in the preceding paragraphs here.

Let's face it.  I'm average.  I came from a basic middle-class home.
My mother never went to college.  My father only made it through 2
years of college before the expenses of raising a family won out over
the expenses of going to college.  On both sides, my grandparents were
farming people.  I had four sisters and the basic society provided
education through high school.

At _no_ point in time was I instructed, intimidated or even had it
implied that I should be anything less than everything I possibly
could be.  I was always the tops in my class as far as academics went.
I was in the top 10% of my graduating class at high school and quite
easily made it into college, was even selected for the honors program.
I was continually encouraged to extend myself and reach for as much as
I could possibly get out of life--this from family, friends and school
personnel.  

Most of all I was encouraged at all points to be able to support
myself and any family I might have, the rationale being that if I
never married I would be able to support myself and have a rewarding
life, and that if I did marry I would also be able to support myself
and have a rewarding life.  No one at any point in my upbringing that
I can remember ever said that having a marketable skill which brought
appropriate remuneration was _not_ a desireable goal.

I'm sorry, I simply do _not_ believe you when you say that women are
encouraged by society to be less than they can be.


-- 
\"\t\f1A\h'+1m'\f4\(mo\h'+1m'\f1the\h'+1m'\f4\(es\t\f1\c
_______________________________________________________________________

                                                       Terry Grevstad
                                         Network Research Corporation
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