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Path: utzoo!decvax!bellcore!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxn!ihnp4!mmm!mrgofor
From: mrgofor@mmm.UUCP (MKR)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: New Topic--Weddings
Message-ID: <556@mmm.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 23-Feb-86 23:45:25 EST
Article-I.D.: mmm.556
Posted: Sun Feb 23 23:45:25 1986
Date-Received: Thu, 27-Feb-86 03:42:54 EST
References: <399@ihnp1.UUCP>
Reply-To: mrgofor@mmm.UUCP (MKR)
Distribution: na
Organization: none
Lines: 66
Summary: 

In article <399@ihnp1.UUCP> frear@ihnp1.UUCP (L. Frear) writes:
>
>My SO and I are thinking about just going somewhere far away
>and having a nice simple wedding then having a great vacation
>for a honeymoon.  (We're talking Europe or Mexico or (ugh) California)
>
>Has anyone out there had a wedding without the pictures, family,
>hall, and other misc. headaches?  Have you ever been really sorry
>you didn't have 8 bridesmaids and 500 guests?  I'm not sure
>what we are going to do yet, except we are spending our own
>money, and **I** would rather be on a beach on the Riviera than
>watching Aunt Fran get drunk and yell at Uncle Charlie for slopping
>food on his tie :-)
>
>			Lori Frear

	My wife and I were married in Scotland. My parents just happened
to be living there (my Dad worked for Bechtel - we moved all over). When
we decided to get married, we called my parents to tell them, and then it
occurred to us that my parents were going to have to buy two round-trip
tickets to be at the wedding. The same thought occurred to them, so we all
simultaneously came up with the idea that, as long as two tickets were to
be purchased, they might as well be for us. So we were married in a 300
year old castle in Edinburgh. The only people at the wedding that we knew
were my parents. The other 14 people there were friends of my parents - a
couple Americans, some Brits and some Scots. It was wonderful.

	One of the bonuses was the lack of pressure usually found at 
weddings - especially for my wife (Kim). Women have always had more of a
burden in traditional weddings - I guess because it's supposed to be "her
big day - she finally caught a man." And unfortunately, many of Kim's
relatives from rural Wisconsin are not terribly progressive - they would
not have understood her not wanting a big deal wedding. The opportunity
to do it as we did saved us from the ordeal.

	The bad aspects: In our case the worst aspect is that Kim's parents
were not able to attend. The expense was part of it, but it was mostly 
because Kim's mother refuses to fly and will not use a bathroom with which's
hygenic history she is not intimately familiar. This was made worse by the
fact that Kim is an only child. Before you call us evil, self-centered brats,
though, let me say that everything was agreeable to all - Kim's parents
wouldn't have thought of standing in the way of this unique opportunity.
Logistics could also have been a problem, but luckily we had someone on 
that end to arrange things for us. It sounds like that may be a bit more
of a problem for you, if you do it alone somewhere.

	A suggestion - we were able to appease many of the relatives by
having the wedding videotaped, so they could see it after all. The only 
problem with this is that you will probably have to sit through the video
tape thousands of times, explaining all the action endlessly for all the 
people who want to see it. Try to get them all together at once to view 
it.

	After all is said and done, I am very glad we did it that way,
without all the hassle. I would recommend it to anyone who hates the
thought of drunken Aunts, obnoxious Uncles, and patronizing relatives
of every ilk. I'd say do it - and enjoy it. It's supposed to be a day
for the two of you, but all too often it is really a day for all the
relatives. Do it for yourselves - if your relatives want a ceremony,
tell them they can have one at your funeral. :-)


-- 
					--MKR

There is none so blind as he who cannot see.