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From: john@cisden.UUCP (John Woolley)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Golf Joke, should be OK but you really never know, do you?
Message-ID: <552@cisden.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 12-Mar-86 13:54:44 EST
Article-I.D.: cisden.552
Posted: Wed Mar 12 13:54:44 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 15-Mar-86 21:11:23 EST
Reply-To: john@cisden.UUCP (John Woolley)
Organization: ConTel Information Systems, Denver
Lines: 45


	There's this guy who's a fanatic golfer -- really a fanatic,
golfs practically every day.  His wife golfs with him, in spite of her
family's disapproval.  (They think the couple are wasting their lives
golfing.)  Well, one day they're out on one of their favourite courses
when the guy slices the ball something terrible, and it goes over a fence.
	"Well," says his wife.  "You get a penalty shot."
	"No, let's see how it's lying," the guy says.  "You never know --
it might be playable."  So they go climbing over the fence and hunt around
a little and finally find the ball behind a big clump of bushes.  The guy
looks at it, decides no way is it playable.  "Okay, I guess I take the
penalty."
	"Well, wait a moment, honey," his wife says.  "Look, I think you
can do it.  I'll just stand here on this one branch, see?, and hold these
other ones up like this.  There, there's quite a gap.  I bet you can get
back on the fairway in one stroke."
	The guy looks, decides maybe she's right, cranks up, hits the ball
a good one, clunk! right into his wife's forehead.  She keels over, dead,
on the spot.
	Well, there's trouble with the police, and her family is really
pissed off, and the guy begins to think they're right, that he's been
wasting his life, that this horrible thing was a sign from God.  So he
gives up golf.  But, you know golfers -- as time passes, he begins to
hang around the clubhouse a little, then plays a round now and then, and
before you know it he's married another lady golfer and is back to his
old habits, golfing every day.
	Years pass, and one day they're out on that same course, on that
same hole, when the guy slices the ball something terrible again, and it
goes over the same fence.
	"Well," says his wife.  "You get a penalty shot."
	"No, let's see how it's lying," the guy says.  "You never know --
it might be playable."  So they go climbing over the fence and hunt around
a little and finally find the ball behind that same clump of bushes, not
six inches from where it had been years earlier.  The guy looks at it,
shakes his head sadly, says, "Okay, you're right -- I'll take the penalty."
	"Not so fast, honey," his wife says.  "I think you can do it.
I'll just stand here on this one branch, see?, and hold these other ones
up like this.  Look, there's plenty of room.  I bet you can get back on
the fairway in one stroke."
	"Oh, no," says the guy.  "Oh, no.  I tried that one time, and I
took a seven on this hole."
-- 
				Peace and Good!,
				      Fr. John Woolley
"Compared to what I have seen, all that I have written is straw." -- St. Thomas