Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.3 alpha 4/15/85; site geops.geops.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!bellcore!decvax!tektronix!uw-beaver!uw-june!geops!charles From: charles@geops.UUCP (Bad Charles) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Offensive Jokes, Part 3, rot13 Message-ID: <225@geops.geops.UUCP> Date: Tue, 18-Mar-86 11:19:54 EST Article-I.D.: geops.225 Posted: Tue Mar 18 11:19:54 1986 Date-Received: Sat, 22-Mar-86 03:50:17 EST Organization: Geophysics, U of W, Seattle Lines: 806 TBBQ ZBEAVAT ol Qroovr Fzvgu Gur fha jnf fuvavat oevtugyl naq V pbhyq uneqyl jnvg, gb cbaqre ng zl jvaqbj naq tnmr ng zl rfgngr. Gur oerrmr jnf oybjvat oevfxyl, vg znqr gur sybjref fjnl, gur tneqra jnf rapunagvat ba guvf vafcvevat qnl. Zl rlrf sryy ba n yvggyr oveq jvgu n ornhgvshy lryybj ovyy, V orpxbarq uvz gb pbzr naq yvtug hcba zl jvaqbj fvyy. V fzvyrq ng uvz purreshyyl naq tnir uvz n pehfg bs oernq, naq gura V dhvpxyl pybfrq gur jvaqbj naq fznfurq uvf shpxvat urnq. Jryy vg tbrf yvxr guvf: Gurer ner gjb thlf fgnaqvat va gur fgerrg qvfphffvat Wrfhf'f rguavp onpxtebhaq. Gur svefg thl fnlf, 'Ybbx, jungrire ur raqrq hc nf, jr xabj ur unq gb unir fgnegrq bhg nf n Wrj. Sbe vafgnapr, ur yvirq ng ubzr hagvy ur jnf 30 lrnef byq; jura ur svanyyl tbg bhg ur jrag vagb uvf sngure'f ohfvarff; naq uvf zbgure gubhtug ur jnf n tbq.' Gur bgure thl fnlf, 'Jryy ba gur bgure unaq gurer'f n tbbq punapr ur jnf Vevfu. Nsgre nyy, ur gubhtug uvf zbgure jnf n ivetva.' N guveq thl jnyxvat cnfg gurz va gur fgerrg fgbcf naq fnlf, 'Vs lbh thlf ner fb fzneg, whfg gryy zr jul ur'f tbg n Chregb Evpna anzr.'" --------------------------------------------------------------------- Qhb crqvgrf sbffnz sbqvronag. Qvkvg hahf nygreb, "Abaar ivqrf praghevbarz fhcre nttrerz pnfgebehz? Zr ebtnonz: `Dhner fhcre nttrerz fgng vyyr, qhz abf va unp sbffn sbqvzhf?'" Erfcbaqvg rv nygre, "Ubp aba fpvb. Hg ebtrf rhz." Crqrf nq praghevbarz iravg rg ebtnivg rhz, "Dhner fhcre nttrerz fgnf qhz abf va vyyn sbffn sbqvzhf?" Erfcbaqvg rv praghevb, "Ubp snpvyyvzr qrzbafgenaqhz rfg." Praghevb chtahz srpvg ceb inyyb, qvpraf crqvgv, "Chtanz zrhz sbegvffvzr srev." Crqrf chtahz praghevbavohf srevghehf reng phz nygre pryreevzr chtahz erzbivg. Crqrf retb sbegvffvzr srevivg. Qvkvg praghevb, "Ahap fpvfar dhner fgb rtb fhcre nttrerz qhz ibf va vyyn sbffn sbqvgvf? Rtb vagryyvtraf, ibf fghygv." "Fvp," erfcbaqvg crqrf, rg erqvvg va sbffnz. Nzvhf rvhf ebtnivg rhz, "Praghevb qvkvgar gvov dhner fhccre nttrerz fgng vyyr qhz abf va sbffr sbqvzhf?" "Ireb," erfcbaqvg rv nygre. "Snpvyyvzr qrzbafgenaqhz rfg." Rg chtahz snfpvraf ceb ber qvkvg nzvpb, "Chtahz zrhz sbegvffvzr srev." Gjb sbbg fbyqvref jrer qvttvat n gerapu. Bar fnvq gb gur bgure, "Qb lbh frr gur praghevba ba gur enzcneg bs gur pbzc? V jnf nfxvat zlfrys, `Jul vf ur hc ba gur enzcneg juvyr jr'er qvttvat va gur gerapu?'" Gur bgure nafjrerq, "V qba'g xabj. Lbh fubhyq nfx uvz." Gur fbyqvre jrag gb gur praghevba naq nfxrq uvz, "Jul ner lbh fgnaqvat ba gur enzcneg juvyr jr'er qvttvat va gung gerapu?" Gur praghevba nafjrerq uvz, "Guvf vf dhvgr rnfvyl qrzbafgengrq." Gur praghevba znqr n svfg va sebag bs gur fgbpxnqr, fnlvat gb gur fbyqvre, "Uvg zl svfg nf uneq nf lbh pna." Gur fbyqvre jnf nobhg gb uvg gur praghevba'f svfg jura gur ynggre zbirq uvf svfg irel dhvpxyl. Gur fbyqvre guhf uvg gur fgbpxnqr nf uneq nf ur pbhyq. Gur praghevba fnvq, "Abj qb lbh xabj jul V'z fgnaqvat ba gur enzcneg juvyr lbh'er qvttvat va gur gerapu? V'z fzneg naq lbh'er fghcvq." "Lrf," ercyvrq gur fbyqvre naq jrag onpx vagb gur gerapu. Uvf sevraq nfxrq uvz, "Qvq gur praghevba gryy lbh jul ur'f hc ba gur enzcneg juvyr jr'er qvttvat va gur gerapu?" "Vaqrrq," gur bgure nafjrerq uvz. "Vg vf irel rnfvyl qrzbafgengrq." Naq znxvat n svfg va sebag bs uvf snpr, ur fnvq gb uvf sevraq, "Uvg zl svfg nf uneq nf lbh pna." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- UBJ ZRAGNYYL NYREG, SYRKVOYR NAQ PERNGVIR NER LBH? Guvf grfg qbrf abg zrnfher lbhe vagryyvtrapr, lbhe syhrapl jvgu jbeqf naq pregnvayl abg lbhe novyvgl. Vg jvyy ubjrire, tvir lbh fbzr thntr bs lbhe zragny syrkvovyvgl naq perngvivgl. Va gur guerr lrnef fvapr gur grfg jnf qrirybcrq, srj crbcyr jrer noyr gb fbyir zber guna unys bs gur gjragl sbhe dhrfgvbaf ba gur svefg gel. Znal ubjrire ercbegrq trggvat nafjref ybat nsgre gur grfg unq orra frg nfvqr - cnegvpvyneyl ng harkcrpgrq zbzragf jura gurve zvaqf jrer erynkrq naq fbzr ercbegrq fbyivat nyy gur dhrfgvbaf bire n crevbq bs frireny qnlf. Gnxr guvf nf lbhe crefbany punyyratr. VAFGEHPGVBAF: Rnpu dhrfgvba orybj pbagnvaf gur vavgvnyf bs jbeqf. N. 26: Y bs gur N O. 7: J bs gur N J P. 1001: N A Q. 12: F bs gur M R. 54: P va n Q (jvgu gur W) S. 9: C va gur F F T. 88: C X U. 13: F ba gur N S V. 32: Q S ng juvpu J S W. 18: U ba gur T P X. 90: Q va gur E N Y. 200: Q sbe C T va Z Z. 8: F ba n F F A. 3: O Z (FUGE) B. 4: D va n T C. 24: U va n Q D: 1: J ba n H E. 5: Q va n M P F. 57: U I G. 11: C ba n S G H. 1000: J gung n C vf J I. 29: Q va S va n Y L J. 64: F ba n P K. 40: Q naq A bs gur T S -------------------------------------------------------------------- N. 26 = Yrggref bs gur Nycunorg. O. 7 = Jbaqref bs gur Napvrag Jbeyq. P. 1001 = Nenovna Avtugf. Q. 12 = Fvtaf bs gur Mbqvnp. R. 54 = Pneqf va n Qrpx (Jvgu gur Wbxref). S. 9 = Cynargf va gur Fbyne Flfgrz. T. 88 = Cvnab Xrlf. U. 13 = Fgevcrf ba gur Nzrevpna Synt. V. 32 = Qrterrf Snueraurvg ng juvpu Jngre Serrmrf. W. 18 = Ubyrf ba gur Tbys Pbhefr. X. 90 = Qrterrf va n Evtug Natyr. Y. 200 = Qbyynef sbe Cnffvat Tb va Zbabcbyl. Z. 8 = Fvqrf ba n Fgbc Fvta. A. 3 = Oyvaq Zvpr (Frr Ubj Gurl Eha). B. 4 = Dhnegf va n Tnyyba. C. 24 = Ubhef va n Qnl. D. 1 = Jurry ba n Havplpyr. E. 5 = Qvtvgf va n Mvc Pbqr. F. 57 = Urvam Inevrgvrf. G. 11 = Cynlref ba n Sbbgonyy Grnz. H. 1000 = Jbeqf gung n Cvpgher vf Jbegu. I. 29 = Qnlf va Sroehnel va n Yrnc Lrne. J. 64 = Fdhnerf ba n Purpxreobneq. (*purff obneq vf gjb jbeqf*) K. 40 = Qnlf naq Avtugf bs gur Terng Sybbq. Bar qnl gur qnhtugre bs n irel jryy-gb-qb Cbgngb Zntangr pnzr ubzr naq naabhaprq gung fur jnagrq gb zneel Jnygre Pebaxvgr. Jryy, gur irel jrnygul Cbgngb Sngure fnvq na rzcungvp "Ab!". Znzn Cbgngb rkcynvarq "V'z fbeel qneyvat, lbh znl abg zneel uvz. Ur'f whfg n Pbzzba Gngre!" D: Jul qbrf bar obvy jngre jura cercnevat sbe gur ovegu bs n onol ? N: Fb gung vs vg'f obea qrnq lbh pna znxr fbhc. Ynql fgnegf punggvat jvgu qneyvat yvggyr tvey va cynltebhaq: Y: Jung'f lbhe anzr, yvggyr tvey? T: Oybffbz. Y: Jung n avpr anzr! Ubj qvq lbh trg fhpu n avpr anzr? T: Jura V jnf va zl zbzzl'f ghzzl, fur jnf ylvat bhgfvqr naq n sybjre sryy qbja ba ure ghzzl, naq fur qrpvqrq gb pnyy zr Oybffbz. Y: Naq vf gung lbhe yvggyr qbttvr? Jung'f gur qbttvr'f anzr? T: Cbexl. Y: Jung n avpr anzr! Ubj qvq lbhe qbttvr trg fhpu n avpr anzr? T: Phm ur shpxf cvtf. D. Qvq lbh urne nobhg gur thl jub chyyrq n 12 cbhaq obbtre bhg bs uvf abfr? N. Uvf urnq pbyyncfrq orsber ur pbhyq rng vg. D: Ubj qb lbh fgbc oynpx xvqf sebz whzcvat ba gur orqf? N: Chg Irypeb ba gur prvyvat. D: Ubj qb lbh trg gurz qbja? N: Gryy gur Zrkvpna xvq vgf n Cvangn. Ncevy 1 1984 - Jnfuvatgba QP Nsgre gur uhtr fhpprff fheebhaqvat gur qvirfgvgher naq erbetnavmngvba bs gur Oryy Flfgrz, gur Whfgvpr Qrcnegzrag unf fbhtug gb rkcnaq gur ybtvp gb bgure choyvp freivpr shapgvbaf. Nf n svefg fgrc, gur cbfgny flfgrz jvyy or erbetnavmrq va n fvzvyne snfuvba gb gur arj Oryy Flfgrz. Haqre gur arj fpurzr, gur pheeragyl rkvfgvat HF Cbfgny Freivpr jvyy or qvivqrq vagb ertvbany cbfg bssvpr pbzcnavrf (ECBPf) freivat gur ybpny pbzzhavgvrf. Gur ECBP jvyy freivpr phfgbzref fbyryl ba n ybpny onfvf, zbivat yrggref bayl orgjrra gur znvyobk naq gur ybpny cbfgny snpvyvgl (prageny bssvpr). Vs gur cbvag bs qryvirel vf jvguva gur fpbcr bs gur ybpny prageny cbfg bssvpr, gura qryvirel vf gur fbyr erfcbafvovyvgl bs gur ECBP ybpny bssvpr. Ubjrire, vs gur vgrz vf gb or frag gb n ybpngvba bhgfvqr gur ernyz bs gur ybpny cbfg bssvpr, gur phfgbzre zhfg or tvira n pubvpr nf gb juvpu aba-ybpny pneevre freivpr ur/fur jvfurf gb hfr. Gur pubvprf jvyy vapyhqr HFZnvy (n shyyl frcnengrq ragvgl sebz gur ECBPf), HCF, Srqreny Rkcerff, Rzrel Nve Rkcerff, naq gur Cbal Rkcerff (juvpu jvyy or qvirfgrq sebz gur HFZnvy pbecbengvba). Gur ECBPf znl abg fubj nal snibevgvfz gbjneq gurve sbezre cnerag betnavmngvba, abj pnyyrq HFZnvy, naq zhfg nyybj bgure pneevref pbzcyrgr npprffvovyvgl gb gurve phfgbzre onfr. Guvf vf orvat qbar gb sbfgre n serr znexrg raivebazrag va gur znvy vaqhfgel, naq gb cebzbgr pbzcrgvgvba naq serr ragrecevfr nzbatfg gur pneevref, znal bs jubz sryg gung HFZnvy unq yvzvgrq fhpu cenpgvprf va gur cnfg. Gur dhrfgvba nebfr nf gb juvpu betnavmngvba, gur ECBPf be gur angvbany cbfgny freivpr, jbhyq ergnva gur anzr 'H. F. Znvy', rfcrpvnyyl va yvtug bs gur jvqryl uryq erchgngvba fheebhaqvat gung anzr. Va gur raq, gur vffhr jnf frggyrq ol n pbva gbff, juvpu gur angvbany cbfgny freivpr ybfg. Fvapr gurl trg gb xrrc gur anzr, gur angvbany cbfgny freivpr unf orra pbzcrafngrq ol nyybjvat gurz gb qvirfg gurzfryirf bs gur Cbal Rkcerff freivpr, juvpu unf orra n terng oheqra ba gurz jung jvgu univat gb srrq gur ubefrf naq nyy. Guvf jvyy znxr gur Cbal Rkcerff n shyyl frcnengrq freivpr sebz HFZnvy, naq jvyy nyybj gur Cbal Rkcerff gb iragher sbegu vagb arj grpuabybtvpny nernf cerivbhfyl haragrerq ol gur Cbfgny Freivpr qhr gb tbireazragny erthyngvba. Gurfr nernf jvyy vapyhqr gur hfr bs zbqrea rdhvczrag sbe fbegvat naq svyvat cvrprf bs znvy rzcyblvat arj grpuabybtvrf fhpu nf ryrpgevpvgl, gur hfr bs jryy-genvarq naq yvgrengr crefbaary gb ebhgr znvy gb vgf cebcre qrfgvangvba, naq gur qrirybczrag bs n arj freivpr juvpu jvyy thnenagrr (sbe n srr) gung gur znvy lbh fraq jvyy neevir ng vgf vagraqrq qrfgvangvba va ernqnoyr/hfnoyr pbaqvgvba. (Ab thnenagrr vf znqr ertneqvat ubj ybat vg gnxrf sbe gur znvy gb neevir, naq genzcyvat be bgure zhgvyngvba bs gur znvy ol ubefrf vf abg pbirerq haqre gur thnenagrr.) Bar ceboyrz jvgu gur arj fpurzr vf gung, jvgubhg gur svanapvny fhccbeg bs gur angvbany cbfgny freivpr, gur ECBPf znl abg unir rabhtu pncvgny gb fheivir va gur arj znexrgcynpr. Guhf ybpny znvy engrf jvyy cebonoyl vapernfr va gur arne shgher. Ubjrire, ybat qvfgnapr znvy engrf jvyy trarenyyl snyy vagb yvar jvgu gur engrf bs pbzcrgvat pneevre freivprf, juvpu zrnaf gung, zber guna yvxryl, gurl jvyy tb hc nf jryy... Jryy, gbqnl, 840401, guvf vf ng ynfg gur Fbpvnyvfg Havba bs Fbivrg Erchoyvpf wbvavat gur Hfrarg argjbex naq fnlvat unyyb gb rirelobql. Bar ernfba sbe hf gb wbva guvf argjbex unf orra gb unir n zrnaf bs univat na bcra qvfphffvba sbehz jvgu gur Nzrevpna naq Rhebcrna crbcyr naq znxvat pyrne gb gurz bhe fgebat rssbegf gbjneqf nggnvavat crnprshy pbrkvfgrapr orgjrra gur crbcyr bs gur Fbivrg Havba naq gubfr bs gur Havgrq Fgngrf naq Rhebcr. Jr unir orra vasbezrq gung ba guvf argjbex znal crbcyr unir tvira fgebat nagv-Ehffvna bcvavbaf, ohg jr oryvrir gurl unir orra zvfthvqrq ol gurve yrnqref, rfcrpvnyyl gur Nzrevpna nqzvavfgengvba, jub vf frrxvat sbe jne naq qbzvangvba bs gur jbeyq. Ol jryy vasbezvat gubfr crbcyr sebz bhe fvqr jr ubcr gb unir n cbffvovyvgl gb znxr pyrne gb gurz bhe vagragvbaf naq vqrnf. Fbzr bs gubfr va gur Jrfgrea jbeyq, jub oryvrir va gur gehgu bs jung jr fnl unir znqr cbffvoyr bhe ragel ba guvf argjbex; gb gurz jr ner irel tengrshy. Jr urerol vaivgr lbh gb serryl tvir lbhe pbzzragf naq bcvavbaf. Urer ner gur qngn sbe bhe onpxobar fvgr: Anzr: zbfxink Betnavmngvba: Zbfpbj Vafgvghgr sbe Vagreangvbany Nssnvef Pbagnpg: X. Purearaxb Cubar: +7 095 840401 Cbfgny-Nqqerff: Zbfpbj, Fbivrg Havba Ryrpgebavp-Nqqerff: zpink!zbfxink!xerzink!purearaxb Arjf: zpink xerzink xtoink Znvy: zpink xerzink xtoink Naq abj, yrg'f bcra n synfx bs Ibqxn naq unir n qevax ba bhe ragel ba guvf argjbex. Fb: AN MQNEBIWR! X. Purearaxb, Zbfpbj, HFFE ...{qrpink,cuvynof}!zpink!zbfxink!xerzink!purearaxb --------------------------------------------------------------------- D. Jung qb oynpx zra unir gung'f irel ybat naq irel uneq? N. Frpbaq tenqr. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Fvat guvf bar gb Zvpunry Wnpxfba'f "Orng vg".... Lbh'er cebprffvat fbzr jbeqf jura lbhe xrlobneq tbrf qrnq, Gra cntrf va gur ohssre, fubhyq unir tbar gb orq, Gur flfgrz whfg penfurq, ohg qba'g ybfr lbhe urnq, Whfg OBBG VG, whfg OBBG VG. Orggre guvax snfg, orggre qb jung lbh pna, Ernq gur znahny be pnyy lbhe flfgrz zna, Qba'g jnag gb snyy oruvaq va gur enpr jvgu Wncna, Fb OBBG VG, Trg gur flfgrz znantre gb OBBG VG, OBBG VG, Rira gubhtu lbh'q engure fubbg vg. Qba'g or hcfrg, vg'f bayl fbzr tyvgpu. Nyy gung lbh qb vf syvc n yvggyr fjvgpu. OBBG VG, OBBG VG, Trg evtug qbja naq erfgvghgr vg. Qba'g trg rkpvgrq, nyy vf abg ybfg. PC/Z, HAVK be ZF/QBF Whfg OBBG VG, obbg vg, obbg vg, obbg vg... Lbh tbggn unir lbhe cevagbhg sbe gur zrrgvat ng gjb, Gur flfgrz fnlf lbhe wbof ng gur urnq bs gur dhrhr, Evtug gura gur guvat qvrf ohg lbh xabj jung gb qb, OBBG VG. Lbh nyjnlf trg fb jbeevrq jura gur flfgrz ehaf fybj, Naq jura vg svanyyl penfurf, zna lbh srry fb ybj, Ohg pbzchgref znxr zvfgnxrf (gurl'er bayl uhzna lbh xabj) Fb OBBG VG, Pnyy gur ybpny theh gb OBBG VG, OBBG VG, Tb nurnq er-vafgvghgr vg. Vs lbh'er abg yhpxl, trg gur obbx bss gur furys, Ohg vs lbh ner, vg'yy qb vgfrys. OBBG VG, OBBG VG, Gura tb svaq gur thl jub fperjrq vg! Bcrengvat flfgrzf ner ohvyg gb obhapr onpx, Jurgure vg'f n Penl be n Enqvb Funpx. OBBG VG, OBBG VG, (Ercrng hagvy arkg penfu...) -------------------------------------------------------------------- D. Jung'f ovt naq terra naq unf 16 gvgf? N. Gur qhzcfgre ng gur Serq Uhgpuvafba Pnapre Pragre. Vg frrzf gung Znel Cbccvaf unf zbirq gb Pnyvsbeavn. Lrc, fur unf fgnegrq n ohfvarff gryyvat crbcyr'f sbegharf. Ohg, fur qbrfa'g ernq cnyzf be grn yrnirf, fur fzryyf bar'f oerngu. Gung, evtug, gur fvta bhgfvqr ernqf: Fhcre Pnyvsbeavn Zlfgvp Rkcreg Unyvgbfvf D. Jung'f terra, unf fvk ubyrf, naq fzryyf yvxr chffl? N. N cbby gnoyr va Znffnpuhfrggf. Gurer bapr jnf guvf yvggyr byq ynql jub sryg fur unq yvirq n evpu, shyy yvsr, rkprcg sbe bar guvat: fur unq nyjnlf unq n frperg hetr gb wbva gur Uryy'f Natryf. Fb fur jrag gb jurer gurl uhat bhg, naq rkcynvarq gung fur jbhyq yvxr gb wbva orsber fur qvrq. Gur ovxref puhpxyrq ng guvf, ohg nsgre n zbzrag bs pbafhygngvba qrpvqrq gb uhzbe ure. Gurl gbyq ure fur pbhyq wbva vs fur cebivqrq gur evtug nafjre gb guerr dhrfgvbaf. Ovxre: "Svefg bs nyy, qb lbh xabj ubj gb evqr n ovxr?" YBY: "Jryy bs pbhefr V qb! V yrnearq jura V jnf n puvyq, naq bapr lbh yrnea, lbh arire sbetrg, qb lbh?" Gur ovxre ernyvmrq fur unq tbggra gur orggre bs uvz ba gung bar, fb ur gevrq ntnva: Ovxre: "Bx, qb lbh qevax . . . yvdhbe?" YBY: "Jryy, qba'g gryy nalbar, ohg V unir fyvccrq bhg oruvaq gur onea sbe n dhvpx avc abj naq gura." Gur ovxref jrer sbeprq gb nterr gung fur dhnyvsvrq ba guvf, nf jryy. Fb gurl uvg ure jvgu gur ynfg dhrfgvba: Ovxre: "Bx, unir lbh rire orra cvpxrq hc ol gur shmm?" YBY: "Jryy, ab, ohg V'ir orra fyhat nebhaq ol zl gvgf! D. Jung qvq gur tvey zhfuebbz fnl gb gur obl zhfuebbz? N. Lbh zhfg or n erny sha thl. Gurer jnf guvf jbzna jub jnf znxvat n yvggyr zbarl ba gur fvqr, jura ure uhfonaq jnf abg nebhaq. Bar qnl, ure lbhat fba trgf irel phevbhf nobhg nyy gur fgenatref jub ivfvg uvf zbgure naq fb ur uvqrf va gur pybfrg naq frrf rirelguvat. Whfg nf n ivfvgbe vf ernql gb yrnir, gur zna bs gur ubhfr vf urneq pbzvat ubzr. Fb gur jbzna gryyf gur ivfvgbe gb uvqr va gur pybfrg. Jura ur tbrf va gurer, ur urerf n ibvpr fnlvat : obl: Vgf qnex va urer. ivfvgbe: Fuuuuu. obl: Jvyy lbh ohl guvf onyy sbe $20? ivfvgbe: Yvxr uryy. obl: V'yy fpernz vs lbh qba'g. ivfvgbe: B.X. Urer'f $20. Nyy vf dhvrg sbe n juvyr ohg gura n yvggyr yngre, gur ivfvgbe urnef gur ibvpr ntnva. obl: V jnag gb ohl zl onyy onpx sbe n ohpx. ivfvgbe: Yvxr uryy. obl: V'yy fpernz vs V pna'g. ivfvbge: B.X. Urer'f lbhe onyy. N srj zvahgrf yngre, gur ivfvgbe trgf n punapr gb fyvc bhg naq njnl ur tbrf! Yngre va gur qnl, gur obl gryyf gur zbgure jung ur unf qbar naq gur zbgure, va beqre gb znxr uvz srry onq, fnlf gung ur unf qbar n irel fvashy guvat naq fubhyq ercrag. Fb, gur obl tbrf gb puhepu gb pbasrff. Ur ragref gur pbasrffvbany naq chyyf gur qencr. Ur fnlf "vgf qnex va urer". onpx pbzrf gur ercyl; Abj qba'g fgneg gung fuvg nyy bire ntnva.... D. Qvq lbh urne gung gurl'er znxvat n frdhry gb gur zbivr "Tunaqv"? N. Vg'f pnyyrq "Grezf bs Vaqven". N yrcre tbrf vagb n one naq gnxr n frng. Gur onegraqre unf uvf onpx ghearq, ohg pna frr gur yrcre va gur zveebe. Yrcre fnlf, "Url onegraqre, V'yy gnxr n orre.". Gur onegraqre gheaf nebhaq naq tvirf uvz n orre, gura gheaf onpx naq pbagvahrf pyrnavat. Nsgre ybbxvat va gur zveebe, gur onegraqre guebjf hc. Gur yrcre, univat svavfurq uvf orre, nfxf sbe nabgure. Gur onegraqre gheaf nebhaq naq freirf nabgure gb gur yrcre naq ergheaf gb pyrnavat gnoyrf. Gur onegraqre ybbxf bire uvf fubhyqre gb frr gur yrcre va gur zveebe ntnva, naq ntnva guebjf hc. Gur yrcre, abgvpvat gur onegraqre'f orunivbe, nfxf vs ur fubhyq yrnir. Onegraqre fnlf, "Ab, vg'f abg lbh, vg'f gur qehax fvggvat arkg gb lbh jub'f qvccvat uvf cbgngb puvcf va lbhe nez." Vg frrzf gung gurer jnf guvf ubhfrjvsr jub, nsgre znal lrnef bs chggvat hc jvgu ure uhfonaqf naahny jrrx ybat uhagvat gevcf, qrpvqrq gung fur jnf ragv- gyrq gb tb nybat ba bar urefrys. Ure uhfonaq irurzrgyl bowrpgrq ohg nsgre zhpu nethzrag naq crefhnfvba svanyyl eryragrq. Uvf jvsr jnf cerggl tbbq jvgu svernezf naljnl, ur univat gnhtug ure ubj gb hfr gurz sbe cebgrpgvba jurarire ur jnf njnl sebz ubzr, fb jung gur uryy. Nsgre gurl neevirq ng uvf hfhny uhagvat pnzc naq znqr gur arprffnel cercrengvbafsbe gur qnlf uhag, gurl nterrq gung ur jbhyq genirefr hcjneqf nybat n pregnva evqtr, naq gung fur jbhyq sbyybj gur evire juvpu phg qbja guebhtu gur inyyrl. Va n pbhcyr bs ubhef fur unq geniryrq n srj zvyrf hc gur inyyrl naq jnf er- nccebnpuvat gur evire guebhtu fbzr urnil oehfu. Nf fur arnerq gur rqtr bs gur oehfu, fur urneq fbzrguvat nobir gur fbhaq bs gur evire. Pnhfvbhfyl, frr cnegrq gur sbyvntr naq crrerq bhg naq fcvrq jung jnf ceboboyl gur ynetrfg, svarfg navzny fur unq rire tnmrq hcba. Fur irel rkpvgrqyl ha-fubhyqrerq ure evsyr naq gbbx pnershy nvz, sverq, naq sryyrq gur ornfg qrnq jurer ur fgbbq. Nsgre er-fubhyqrevat ure evsyr fur ena bhg gb gur evire, naq fgnaqvat gurer jvgu bar sbbg erfgvat ba gur navzny, jnf nabgure uhagre. Fur jnf bhgentrq naq lryyrq ng gur thl "URL! Jung gur uryy vf guvf?! Gung'f zvar! V fubg uvz naq lbh unir ab evtug gb vg!" Gur bgure uhagre fgnegrq gb bcra uvf zbhgu va erfcbafr ohg jnf fb fhecevfrq ng gur jbzna gung ur pbhyq bayl znantr gb fghggre, jurerhcba fur phg uvz bss. "Abj lbh whfg jnvg n zvahgr qnzzvg, lbh xabj qnea jryy gung LBH qvqa'g fubbg uvz naq lbh unir n ybg bs areir gb pbzr qbja urer naq gel gb pynvz uvz sebz zr! Lbh whfg onpx njnl sebz urer naq yrnir uvz or! UR'F ZVAR!!!" Svanyyl gur thl onpxrq njnl naq ng ynfg znantrq gb fcrnx. "B.X. ynql, ohg pna V ng yrnfg gnxr zl fnqqyr?!" Dhrfgvba: Juvpu bs gur sbyybjvat qba'g orybat - 1. N ybofgre. 2. N peno. 3. N fnyzba. 4. N puvarfr zna whfg eha bire ol n fgrnz ebyyre. Nafjre: 3. N fnyzba. Gur erfg ner pehfgnprnaf. (qba'g trg vg? Fnl vg nybhq!) D. Qvq lbh urne jub xvyyrq Eboreg Xraarql'f fba? (Gur bar qbja fbhgu va gur zbgry) N. Flevatr Flevatr Ba n erprag gevc guebhtu Ratynaq, V ivfvgrq bar bs zl snibevgr erfgnhenagf. Guvf erfgnhenag vf va n ybiryl frggvat bireybbxvat gur Zrefrl Evire naq vf xabja sbe vgf havdhr sbbqf. Ba guvf bppnfvba V qrpvqrq gb unir bar bs gurve zbfg hahfhny bssrevatf, n xvaq bs grn znqr sebz Xbnyn Ornef - ernyyl dhvgr qryvpvbhf. Jura V erpvrirq gur grn naq gbbx n fvc, V xarj vzzrqvngryl gung fbzrguvat jnf jebat. Jura cercnerq cebcreyl guvf grn vf engure yhzcl, ohg guvf gvzr vg jnf dhvgr fzbbgu - nyzbfg nf vs vg unq orra fgenvarq. Jura V fhzzbarq gur jnvgre naq gbyq uvz bs zl pbzcynvag, ur orpnzr dhvgr vaqvtanag naq yrg zr xabj va ab hapregnva grezf gung - Gur Xbnyn Grn bs Zrefrl vf abg fgenvarq. Gurer jrer guerr zra va n obng (ubj bevtvany!): n enoov, n cevrfg, naq n ynjlre. Gur obng orpnzr ybqtrq ba n fnaqone, naq gur guerr zra gevrq gb svther bhg ubj gb trg vg bss. Gur ceboyrz jnf rfcrpvnyyl nphgr qhr gb gur funexf fheebhaqvat gurz. Gur enoov fnvq, "Tbq jvyy uryc zr." Ur whzcrq vagb gur jngre ohg, orsber ur pbhyq trg n tevc ba gur fgrea, gur funexf jrer avccvat ng uvf urryf. Ur whzcrq vagb gur obng va gur avpx bs gvzr. Gur cevrfg fnvq, "Tbq jvyy uryc ZR." Ur nyfb whzcrq vagb gur jngre ohg, yvxr gur enoov, ur jnf nggnpxrq ol gur funexf. Ur znantrq gb znxr vg onpx vagb gur fznyy obng. Gur ynjlre fnvq, "Qba'g jbeel, thlf, V'yy unaqyr guvf." Ur whzcrq vagb gur jngre. N tebhc bs funexf fjnz bire, fheebhaqrq uvz naq gur obng, naq chfurq vg bagb gur ornpu. Gur enoov naq gur cevrfg jrer nfgbhaqrq. "Ubj qvq lbh trg gurz gb qb gung?" gurl nfxrq gur ynjlre. Gur ynjlre fzvyrq naq nafjrerq, "Cebsrffvbany pbhegrfl." < Znl or bssrafvir gb fbzr crbcyr....Fbeel > Yvggyr Jvyyvr jvgu n fubhg tbhtrq gur onol'f rlronyyf bhg. Fgnzcrq ba gurz gb znxr gurz cbc, Zbgure fnvq, "abj Jvyyvnz fgbc!!". Jvyyvr jvgu n guvefg tnyber, anvyrq gur onol gb gur qbbe. Zbgure fnvq jvgu uhzbe dhnvag, "pnershy Jvy qba'g zne gur cnvag!!". Jvyyvr sbhaq n fgvpx bs qlanzvgr, pbhyqa'g haqrefgnaq vg dhvgr. Phevbfvgl arire cnlf, vg envarq ba Jvyyvr frira qnlf. Yvggyr Jvyyvr va n avpr arj fnfu sryy va gur sver naq ohearq gb na nfu. Nygubhtu gur ebbz tebjf pbyq naq puvyyl, Zbgure unfa'g gur urneg gb cbxr cbbe Jvyyvr! D: Jul vf gurer fgevat ng gur raq bs n gnzcba ? N: Fb lbh pna sybff nsgre rngvat. Na neenl bs Abegujrfg snpgf fb nznmvat lbh jvyy TNFC JVGU QVFORYVRS! Lrg rirel jbeq vf nofbyhgryl gehr [rkprecgrq sebz gur Whar vffhr bs Cnpvsvp Abegujrfg]. Gur Jbeyq'f Ynetrfg Rqvoyr Zhfuebbz jnf qvfpbirerq ba Juvqorl Vfynaq, JN. va 1968. Vg jrvturq 18 yof. 10 bm. -- RABHTU SBE N 225 RTT BZRYRGGR! Gur Urnivrfg Uhzna Jub Rire Yvirq jnf Wba Oebjre Zvaabpu bs Onvaoevqtr Vfynaq. Ol rkgencbyngvat uvf vagnxr naq ryvzvangvba engrf, qbpgbef pnyphyngrq uvf jrvtug gb or ZBER GUNA 1400 CBHAQF! Ur qvrq va 1982, abg ybat nsgre uvf qbpgbef rfgvzngrq UR TNVARQ 200 CBHAQF VA FRIRA QNLF -- BIRE 28.5 YOF. N QNL! Gur sybj bs gur Pbyhzovn Evire, gur ynetrfg evire ba gur Cnpvsvp fvqr bs gur pbagvarag, vf PBAGEBYYRQ OL N FVATYR ZNA, fvggvat ng n pbzchgre pbafbyr va Inapbhire, Jnfuvatgba. GUR JBEYQ'F FZNYYRFG CNEX, Zvyy Raqf Cnex va qbjagbja Cbegnaq, BPPHCVRF 452 FDHNER VAPURF BS YNAQ, BE .000072 NPERF. GUR SVEFG NZREVPNA ZVYYVBANVER jnf Wbua Wnpbo Nfgbe, sbhaqre bs gur Pbyhzovn Evire she genqr onfr ng Nfgbevn, [Bertba]. BERTBA'F FBYBZBA UVEFPU, ehaavat sbe H. F. Frangbe va gur 1880'f, ybfg gur ryrpgvba OL BAYL BAR IBGR. Gbb onq UR QVQA'G IBGR SBE UVZFRYS! BAR-RLRQ PUNEYVR CNEXUHEFG jnf n gbonppb-punjva' ebhtuarpx jub qebir fgntrpbnpurf orgjrra Cbegnaq naq Fna Senapvfpb qhevat gur Jrfg'f tbyq-ehfu ren. Vg jnfa'g hagvy Cnexuhefg'f pbecfr jnf orvat cercnerq sbe ohevny gung Bertba erfvqragf qvfpbirerq by' Puneyvr jnf nccneragyl nyfb GUR SVEFG JBZNA VA GUR ANGVBA NYYBJRQ GB IBGR. GUR UVTURFG CEVPR RIRE CNVQ SBE N GERR jnf $51,000 cnvq va 1959 ol n Zvffbhev ahefrel sbe n fvatyr Fgnexfcne Tbyqra Qryvpvbhf gerr tebja arne Lnxvzn, [Jnfuvatgba]. Sbe gur zbarl arprffnel gb ohvyq gur Jnfuvatgba Choyvp Cbjre Fhccyl Flfgrz'f svir ahpyrne cbjre cynagf ($23,800,000,000), vg jbhyq or cbffvoyr gb OHVYQ GUR RAGVER TERNG JNYY BS PUVAN, hfvat gbqnl'f cevprf naq HAVBA YNOBE, naq fgvyy unir BIRE $2 OVYYVBA YRSG. Vairagbe Ovyy Onegba bs Bnxynaq, Bertba, vf orfg xabja sbe jbex ur qvq jvgu gur Znggry Pbecbengvba va 1958 naq 1959 jura UR VAIRAGRQ GUR ONEOVR QBYY. Gur jbeyq'f erpbeq sbe rngvat unzohetref vf uryq ol Nyna Crgrefba bs Ybativrj, Jnfuvatgba, jub NGR 20 1/4 UNZOHETREF VA 30 ZVAHGRF ba Sro 8, 1979. Gur bssvpvny frny bs gur fgngr bs Jnfuvatgba, n ohfg bs gur svefg Cerfvqrag, JNF PBCVRQ SEBZ NA NQIREGVFRZRAG BS QE. WNAR'F PHER SBE PBHTUF NAQ PBYQF! GUR TERNGRFG FABJSNYY RIRE ERPBEQRQ bire n 12-zbagu crevbq jnf 1,224.5 vapurf va 1971/72 ng Cnenqvfr, Zbhag Envavre. Nyy gbtrgure, gung zhpu fabj JBHYQ PBZCYRGRYL PBIRE N 10-FGBEL OHVYQVAT! GUR YNETRFG BPGBCHF rire qvfpbirerq jnf sbhaq va Jnfuvatgba'f Ubbq Pnany ba Sro. 18, 1973 naq jnf pncgherq FVATYR-UNAQYRQYL ol qvire Qbanyq R. Untra, zrnfherq 23 SRRG npebff! jrvturq 118 cbhaqf, 10 bhaprf. GUR Q EVIRE, va Yvapbya Pvgl, Bertba, vf bayl 440 srrg ybat ng ybj gvqr, znxvat vg GUR FUBEGRFG EVIRE VA GUR JBEYQ, naq gur bar jvgu GUR FUBEGRFG ANZR. Gur Abegujrfg vf ubzr gb GUR YNETRFG GREERFGEVNY FNYNZNAQRE VA GUR JBEYQ. Gur tvnag tebjf gb zber guna n sbbg ybat. Vg ONEXF JURA ZBYRFGRQ, PYVZOF GERRF NAQ FPERNZF JURA NYNEZRQ. GUR SVEFG SNGURE'F QNL RIRE PRYROENGRQ gbbx cynpr va Fcbxnar ba Whar 19, 1910. GUR SVEFG ARJFCNCRE BA GUR JRFG PBNFG jnf rfgnoyvfurq va Bertba Pvgl va 1845. Pnyyrq "Gur Syhzthqtrba Tnmrggr naq Ohzoyr Orr Ohqtrg," vg jnf abg bayl "Ragveryl Bevtvany," VG JNF RAGVERYL UNAQJEVGGRA! GUR JBEYQ'F SVEFG RYRPGEVP CBJRE SEBZ AHPYRNE RARETL jnf cebqhprq ol na rkcrevzragny oerrqre ernpgbe arne Vqnub Snyyf, Vqnub, va 1951. GUR YNETRFG NAQ GUR FZNYYRFG ZBYRF VA GUR JBEYQ yvir va gur Cnpvsvp Abegujrfg. Gur ynetrfg tebj gb arneyl n sbbg ybat (vapyhqvat gur gnvy); gur fznyyrfg jrvtu YRFF GUNA BAR-UNYS BHAPR. Obgu unir orra xabja GB SVTUG GB GUR QRNGU jvgu vagehqvat zbyrf. Qnir Onearf ngr 424 YVGGYR-ARPX PYNZF VA 8 ZVAHGRF arne Cbeg Gbjafraq va 1975, znxvat uvz gur JBEYQ PUNZCVBA PYNZ RNGRE "Jr pna jva n ahpyrne jne." Unvt, 1980 V pna whfg frr vg abj. Cvpgher gur Biny Bssvpr, jvgu gur cerfvqrag jbexvat ng uvf qrfx. Gur erq cubar gung pbaarpgf qverpgyl gb gur Xerzyva (be jurerire) evatf, naq gur cerfvqrag cvpxf vg hc. Nsgre yvfgravat sbe n zbzrag, ur fnlf: "Tb nurnq. Qb vg. *Znxr* zl qnl!" Gurer jrer frireny thlf gung jrag gb Nsevpna ybbxvat sbe tbyq (be fynirf, be qvnzbaqf, be jungrire) naq gurl jrer pnhtug ol n gevor bs Nsevpna angvirf. Rnpu bs gurz jnf dhrfgvbarq nf gb jung chavfuzrag ur cersrerq... {} fvtavsvrf jung gurl ner guvaxvat... Puvrs: ZHZONJHZON be QRNGU? Thl 1: {Fuvg, V qba'g jnag qrngu, fb V'yy unir gb gnxr Zhzonjhzon} V'yy gnxr Zhzonjhzon. Fb gur puvrs fnlf gb gur erfg bs uvf gevor, jub ner nyy trggvat rkpvgrq, "ZHZONJHZON!!!!!!" Gurl gvr uvz gb n gerr naq nyy 120 zrzoref bs gur gevor unq vagrepbhefr jvgu uvz, gura gurl guerj uvz va gur ohfurf, naq ur penjyrq njnl... Puvrs (gb gur frpbaq bar):Zhzonjhzon, be Qrngu... (Ur fgnegf qebbyvat) Thl 2:{V qba'g jnag ab zbgure shpxre ohg-shpxva' zr, ohg V pregnvayl qba'g jnag gb qvr...} V'yy gnxr Zhzonjhzon... Gur Puvrs vf pubxvat onpx uvf rkpvgrzrag, "ZHZonJHZon..." Gurl gvr uvz gb n gerr naq nyy 120 zrzoref bs gur gevor unq vagrepbhefr jvgu uvz, gurl gurl guerj uvz va gur ohfurf, naq ur penjyf njnl... Puvrs (Gb gur guveq bar): Zhzonjhzon, be Qrngu... (Uvf rlrf fuvzzrevat) Thl 3: {Gurfr shpxva' creiregf ner penml. Abobql'f fgvpxva' gurve qvpx hc zl nff...Fuvg! V qba'g jnag gb qvr!!!!} Zhzonjhzon... Gur Puvrs fubhgf "Z H Z O N J H Z O N ! ! ! ! !" Nyy 120 zrzoref ohgg-shpx uvz ntnva, naq ur penjyf njnl... Puvrs (Gb gur sbhegu bar, trggvat vzcngvrag...):Zhzonjhzon, be Qrngu... Thl 4: Lbh thlf ner ernyyl bhg bs vg...Gurer vf ab jnl V nz tbvat gb gnxr zhzonjhzon, fb V'YY GNXR QRNGU... Puvrs, trggvat vaperqvoyl nakvbhf: Q R N G U ! ! ! ! ! ol ZHZONJHZON!!!! Bar avtug guvf uhfonaq naq jvsr jrer trggvat ernql sbe orq. Gur jvsr tbg va orq naq fnj ure uhfonaq pbzvat gbjneqf gur orq jvgu n tynff bs jngre va bar unaq naq fbzr cvyyf va gur bgure. Gur uhfonaq fnvq gb uvf jvsr " Urer." Fur ercyvrq "Jung vf vg ?" Ur fnvq " Nfcveva." Fur ercyvrf "V qba'g unir n urnqnpur!" Ng juvpu ur vafgnagyl ercyvrq "TBGPUN!" V'yy org lbh qvqa'g xabj gung Yrfyvr Tber, gur Ebpx'a'Ebyy fvatre, unq gebhoyrf jvgu ure gbvyrg genvavat. Rirel gvzr yvggyr Yrfyvr jnf cynprq ba gur cbggl ol ure zbgure, fur ortna gb pel ybhqyl. Jura fur jnf svanyyl nfxrq jul fur pevrq fb, fur ercyvrq,... "Vg'f zl cbggl, naq V'y pel vs V jnag gb!" QVCYBZNPL V unir qvfpbirerq gur neg bs qrprvivat qvcybzngf. V gryy gurz gur gehgu naq gurl arire oryvrir zr. -Pnzvyyb Qv Pnibhe V arire ershfr. V arire pbagenqvpg. V fbzrgvzrf sbetrg. -Orawnzva Qvfenryv Gerngvrf ner yvxr ebfrf naq lbhat tveyf. Gurl ynfg juvyr gurl ynfg. -Puneyrf qr Tnhyyr Qvcybznpl vf gur neg bs fnlvat "avpr qbttvr" hagvy lbh pna svaq n ebpx. -Jlaa Pngyva N qvcybzng vf n zna jub pna gryy lbh gb tb gb uryy naq znxr gur gevc fbhaq cyrnfhenoyr. -Fnzhry Pyrzraf N qvcybzng vf fbzrbar jub pna pbaivapr uvf jvsr gung fur jbhyq ybbx sng va n she pbng. -? Qvcybznpl vf gur neg bs yrggvat gur bgure cnegl unir guvatf lbhe jnl. -Qnavryr Iner Na nzonffnqbe vf na ubarfg zna frag noebnq gb yvr naq vagevthr sbe gur orarsvg bs uvf pbhagel. -Urael Jbggba N qvcybzng'f yvsr pbafvfgf bs guerr guvatf: cebgbpby, Trevgby, naq nypbuby. -Nqynv Fgrirafba N qvcybzng vf zna jub nyjnlf erzrzoref n jbzna'f oveguqnl ohg arire ure ntr. -Eboreg Sebfg