Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.3 alpha 4/15/85; site geops.geops.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!bellcore!decvax!tektronix!uw-beaver!uw-june!geops!charles From: charles@geops.UUCP (Bad Charles) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Offensive Jokes, Part 6, rot13 Message-ID: <228@geops.geops.UUCP> Date: Tue, 18-Mar-86 11:25:10 EST Article-I.D.: geops.228 Posted: Tue Mar 18 11:25:10 1986 Date-Received: Sat, 22-Mar-86 03:58:57 EST Organization: Geophysics, U of W, Seattle Lines: 575 D. Qvq lbh urer ZnpQbanyqf vf freivat n arj vgrz? N. Qhpx. N fznyy puvyq oebhtug uvf crg ghegyr onpx gb gur crg fgber. Gur fznyy perngher jnf dhvgr qrnq naq gur puvyq jnf pelvat. Gur fgber bjare, srryvat fbeel sbe gur puvyq, tnir uvz nabgure yvir ghegyr. Gur xvq crexrq hc vzzrqvngryl naq gbbx gur arj ghegyr bire gb gur fvqrjnyx. Ehoovat vg npebff gur przrag, ur lryyrq, "Inebbz...". Gurer jnf n cebfcrpgbe geniryyvat guebhtu gur qrfreg. Ur pnzr hcba guvf tubfg gbja naq fnj, va gur zvqqyr bs gur fgerrg, n ynetr puebzr bowrpg, naq n fanxr. Ur jnf whfg nobhg gb yrnir, jura gur fanxr fnvq "Qba'g yrnir, V'z Angr gur gnyxvat fanxr, naq V jba'g ovgr lbh." Gur cebfcrpgbe, nfgbhaqrq, nfxrq "Ubj vf vg gung lbh pna gnyx, naq jung vf gung puebzr bowrpg?". Gur fanxr ercyvrq "Jul, V pna gnyx orpnhfr V'z Angr gur gnyxvat fanxr. Naq gung bowrpg vf gur yrire juvpu ubyqf gur jbeyq gbtrgure. Arire chyy gung yrire be gur jbeyq jvyy pbzr va unys nf rnfvyl nf n qebccrq jngrezryba." Gur cebfcrpgbe nfxrq jung tbbq gung jnf gb uvz, naq gur fanxr ercyvrq "Jvgu gur cebcre nqiregvfvat, gung yrire naq zl gnyragf pbhyq rnea n ybg bs zbarl va lbhe orunys." Fb gur cebfcrpgbe uhat cbfgref naq cnvq sbe fcbgf ba gur ybpny enqvb naq gryrivfvba fgngvbaf. Nsgre frireny zbaguf, gur cebfcrpgbe jnf irel evpu. Ur jnf pryroengvat, naq unq n srj gbb znal qevaxf bs rkcrafvir yvdhbe. Nf ur jnf qevivat uvf rkcrafvir Rhebcrna fcbegf pne, ur ybbxrq hc naq fnj gung ur jnf irel pybfr gb gur fanxr naq gur yrire. Ur unq gb znxr n snfg qrpvfvba, naq ng gur ynfg zvahgr, fjreirq gb nibvq gur yrire, naq fznfurq cbbe Angr gur gnyxvat fanxr syng. Lbh frr, Ur jnf fher gung vg jnf nyjnlf orggre Angr guna yrire. Erpragyl na negvpyr jnf cbfgrq gb arg.wbxrf rkcynvavat gur erny gehgu nobhg qvrgvat. Urer vf na nqqvgvba, rkcynvavat gur ERNY GEHGU NOBHG RKREPVFVAT 1. Evpuneq Fvzzbaf trgf cnvq gb rkrepvfr yvxr n yhangvp. Lbh qba'g. 2. Nrebovp rkrepvfrf fgvzhyngr naq fcrrq hc gur urneg. Fb qb urneg nggnpxf. 3. Rkrepvfvat nebhaq fznyy puvyqera pna fpne gurz rzbgvbanyyl sbe yvsr. 4. Wbttvat vfa bg ernyyl rkrepvfr, ohg engure n sbez bs frys- nohfr. Orfvqrf, qb lbh ernyyl jnag yrtf nf ebcl nf n irny funax? 5. Ab bar ng lbhe urnygu fcn jvyy rire ybbx yvxr gurl arrq gb rkrepvfr ... rkprcg lbh. 6. Vg vf hafnsr gb yvsg jrvtugf hayrff lbh'ir n qevire ernql gb gnxr lbh gb gur ubfcvgny jura lbh evc lbhe qrygbvqf. 7. Fjrngvat yvxr n cvt naq tnfcvat sbe oerngu vf abg erserfuvat; vs lbh oryvrir vg vf, lbh unir frevbhf ceboyrzf. 8. Ab znggre jung nalbar gryyf lbh, vfbzrgevp rkrepvfrf pnaabg or qbar dhvrgyl ng lbhe qrfx ng jbex. Crbcyr jvyy fhfcrpg znavp graqrapvrf nf lbh gjvggre nbehaq va lbhe punve. 9. Whzcvat ebcr vf n irel tbbq jnl gb ybfr vapurf naq grrgu. Vg'f fhoyvzryl rnfl gb gevc naq snyy ba bhe puva juvyr qbvat qbhoyr qhgpu. 10. Arkg gb ohelvat obarf, gur guvat n qbt rawblf zbfgf vf gevccvat wbttref. 11. Ybpxvat sbhe crbcyr va n gval, przrag-jnyyrq ebbz fb gurl pna eha nebhaq sbe na ubhe fznfuvat n yvggyr ehoore onyy--naq rnpu bgure--jvgu n uneq enpxrg fubhyq vzzrqvngryl or erpbtavmrq sbe jung vg vf: n sbez bs vafnavgl. 12. Chfu-hcf bsgra yrnq gb guebj-hcf. 13. Nal npgvivgl gung pna'g or qbar juvyr fzbxvat fubhyq or nibvqrq. 14. Fcbegf ner na rkgerzryl qnatrebhf npgvivgl sbe vawhel-cebar nzngrhef naq fubhyq or yrsg gb cnvq cebsrffvbanyf. Jul ryfr jbhyq Tbq unir vairagrq GI naq gur Fhcre Objy? Wnpx na Wvyy jrag hc gur uvyy. Wvyy jrag qbja, Wnpx pnzr. Wnpx or avzoyr, Wnpx or dhvpx. Wnpx whzcrq bire gur pnaqyr fgvpx Naq oheag uvf onyyf. Uhzcgl Qhzcgl fng ba n jnyy, Uhzcgl Qhzcgl unq n terng snyy. Nyy gur xvat'f ubefrf Naq nyy gur xvat'f zra Rng fuvg. Zvfgerff Znel, dhvgr pbagenel, Ubj qbrf lbhe tneqra tebj. "Jvgu fvyire oryyf naq pbpxyr furyyf, "Naq bar shpxrq hc crghavn." Fvat n fbat bs fvkcrapr, N cbpxrg shyy bs elr. Sbhe naq gjragl oynpxoveqf, Onxrq va n cvr. Naq jura gur cvr jnf bcrarq, Gur oveqf ortna gb CCVVFF, naq FFUUVVGG, naq SSHHPPXX! D. Fb qvq lbh urer gung Ebanyq Erntna unf fryrpgrq Inarffn Jvyyvnzf nf uvf ehaavat zngr? N. Ur svtherf gung vf gur bayl jnl ur pbhyq yvpx Sreneeb. Qvq lbh urne gung Zvpunry Wnpxfba jrag gb n pvivy evtugf qrzbafgengvba? Ur yrq gur pebjq va fvatvat, "Jr Funyy Haqrepbzr." Zvpunry cebonoyl hfrf n HAVK (rhahpuf) pbzchgre flfgrz, gbb. N zna jnyxf vagb n one naq beqref gjb znegvavf: bar sebz uvzfrys, bar sbe uvf cbbqyr. Guvf pbagvahrf sbe frireny avtugf hagvy, bar avtug, gur cbbqyr pbzrf va nybar naq gryyf gur onegraqre: "Zl znfgre vfa'g srryvat jryy gbavtug fb creuncf lbh pbhyq tvir zr zl znegvav naq ur'yy cnl lbh sbe vg gbzbeebj." Gur onegraqre nterrf naq freirf gur qbt. Gur arkg avtug gur zna naq uvf cbbqyr ragre gur one naq gur zna fnlf: "Gunax lbh sbe orvat fb xvaq gb zl cbbqyr. V'ir obhtug lbh n yvggyr tvsg." Gur onegraqre bcra n tvsg obk naq svaqf n ynetr yvir ybofgre. "Bu gunax lbh, fve," gur onegraqre fnlf. "V'yy gnxr vg ubzr gb qvaare." "Ab-b," gur zna ercyvrf. "Fur'f nyernql unq qvaare. V'q fhttrfg lbh gnxr ure gb n zbivr vafgrnq." N zna jnyxrq vagb gur cflpuvngevfgf bssvpr naq fnvq, "Qbp, V unir n greevoyr ceboyrz. Unys bs gur gvzr V guvax V'z n grrcrr, naq gur bgure unys bs gur gvzr, V guvax V'z n jvtjnz". Gur qbpgbe ybbxrq uvz bire naq fnvq, "Vg'f ernyyl n irel fvzcyr ceboyrz. Lbh'er gbb grafr." Urer'f n gbgnyyl snyfr ohapu bs whax V erpragyl frag gb hfref ba zl flfgrz: Fbzr crbcyr oryvrirq vg. VZCBEGNAG Qhr gb n erprag flfgrzf bireybnq reebe lbhe erprag /jr/ qvfx svyrf unir orra renfrq. Gurersber, va nppbeqnapr jvgu gur HAVK Onfvp Znahny, Havirefvgl bs Jnfuvatgba Trbculfvpf Znahny, naq Olynj 9(p), Frpgvba KVV bs gur Erivfrq Srqreny Pbzzhavpngvbaf Npg, lbh ner orvat tenagrq Grzcbenel Qvfx Fcnpr, inyvq sbe guerr zbaguf sebz guvf qngr, fhowrpg gb gur erfgevpgvbaf frg sbegu va Nccraqvk VV bs gur Srqreny Pbzzhavpngvbaf Unaqobbx (18gu rqvgvba) nf jryy nf gur ersreraprf zragvbarq urerva. Lbh znl nccyl sbe zber qvfx fcnpr ng nal gvzr. Qvfx hfntr va be nobir gur rvtugu crepragvyr jvyy frpher gur erzbiny bs nyy erfgevpgvbaf naq lbh jvyy vzzrqvngryl erprvir lbhe creznarag qvfx fcnpr. Qvfx hfntr va gur fvkgu be friragu crepragvyr jvyy abg rssrpg gur inyvqvgl bs lbhe grzcbenel qvfx fcnpr, gubhtu vgf rkcvengvba qngr znl or rkgraqrq sbe n crevbq bs hc gb guerr zbaguf. N fpber va gur svsgu crepragvyr be orybj jvyy erfhyg va gur jvguqenjny bs lbhe Grzcbenel Qvfx fcnpr. Ubyqref bs Grzcbenel Qvfx fcnpr ner nqivfrq gb fghql Puncgre Avar ("Gur Grzcbenel Qvfx Fcnpr Nyybpngvba") va gur Srqreny Pbzzhavpngvbaf Unaqobbx. Erzrzore gung qverpg, vagrenpgvir crefbany pbzzhavpngvbaf ner bar bs bhe zbfg inyhnoyr urevgntrf. Hfr lbhe qvfx fcnpr jvfryl. Qb abg nohfr gur cevivyrtr bs purnc qvfx. Puneyrf R. Pnzvfn Qvfx Glenag D. Qvq lbh xabj gung gur Qrzbpengvp Cnegl jba na bylzcvp tbyq zrqny va jerfgyvat? N. Gurl jba vg va gur fangpu naq wrex pbzcrgvgvba. D: Jung qb lbh pnyy 29 enoovgf va n yvar nyy onpxvat hc? N: N erprqvat uner yvar! Ubj qb lbh erpbtavmr n ubhfr jurer synzvatbf yvir? Ol gur cvax cynfgvp avttref ba gur ynja. D. Jung xrrcf gur Ragrecevfr ehaavat? N. Fcbpx Cyhtf. D. Jung qb lbh pnyy n zna jvgu ab nezf naq yrtf va n ubyr? N. Qbht. Gur fgbel vf gbyq bs gur Ratyvfu Ertvzrag znepuvat guebhtu gur Uvtuynaqf bs Fpbgynaq (jura Ratyvfu Ertvzragf jrer jbag gb qb fhpu). Nf gurl cnffrq guebhtu n irel aneebj qrsvyr, n ibvpr zbpxrq gurz sebz nobir. "V'z Erq Ebel bs gur Tyra," gur ibvpr pnyyrq. "Naq V punyyratr lbh! Fraq hc lbhe orfg zna." Gur Pbybary bs gur Ertvzrag ybbxrq hc gb gur uvyygbc naq oruryq gur OVTTRFG Fpbg ur unq rire frra. Uvf xvyg-tvegurq sbez zhfg unir fgbbq 7 sbbg naq gur Pynlzber va uvf unaq jbhyq qjnes zbfg zra. Ntnva gur punyyratr rpubrq npebff gur uvyyf. "V'z Erq Ebel bs gur Tyra naq V punyyratr lbh! Vs nalbar nzbatfg lbh jbhyq qner gb pnyy uvzfrys "Punzcvba'', gura fraq uvz hc!" Gur Pbybary, hajvyyvat gb yrg guvf punyyratr gb gur sybjre bs Ratyvfu Fbyqvrel cnff hanafjrerq, pnyyrq bire uvf Nqwhapg. "Znwbe," ur frrgurq, "fraq hc gur Ertvzrag'f punzcvba. V jnag guvf Fpbg'f urnq!" Naq fb gur Punzcvba jrag sbegu. Hc gur uvyy ur fgebqr, pbasvqrapr va rirel fgrc, gb qb onggyr jvgu guvf Punyyratre. Gur Punyyratre ebnerq uvf zvegu naq fgrccrq bire gur perfg, bhg bs fvtug; gur Punzcvba sbyybjrq. Fbba gur fbhaqf bs onggyr ebyyrq bire gur uvyy naq gur Ertvzrag jnvgrq. Naq gura, GUHZC Guhzc guhzc.... N urnq! Ebyyvat qbja gur uvyy pnzr n urnq. Naq gura, sebz gur uvyygbc, pnzr gur ehzoyr bs gur Punyyratre'f ynhtugre. "V'z Erq Ebel bs gur Tyra! Ntnva V punyyratr lbh! Fraq hc lbhe orfg Fdhnq!" "Znwbe," fubhgrq gur Pbybary! "Guvf pnaabg or fgbbq! Fraq hc gur orfg Fdhnq." Hc gur uvyy sbetrq gur Fdhnq, gura bire gur perfg gb snpr gur Punyyratre. Fbba gur fbhaqf bs onggyr jrer urneq ntnva naq gura GUHZC GUHZC GUHZC Guhzc Guhzc guhzc! Gur urnqf bs gur fdhnq pnzr ebyyvat qbja gur uvyy. "V'z Erq Ebel bs gur Tyra," pnzr gur ibvpr, "naq V punyyratr lbh! Fraq hc lbhe orfg pbzcnal!" Entr pbagbegrq gur Pbybary'f snpr nf ur fpernzrq, "Znwbe! Fraq hc Pbzcnal P. V jnag gung zna'f urnq naq V jnag vg abj!" "Lrf, fve," jnf gur bayl erfcbafr, naq fbba Pbzcnal P jnf nqinapvat hc gur uvyy. Ntnva, sebz bire gur perfg, pnzr gur fbhaqf bs greevoyr onggyr ohg guvf gvzr, sybngvat nobir gurz, pnzr gur fbhaq bs gur Punyyratre'f ynhtugre! Fybjyl, gur fbhaqf bs onggyr qvrq njnl ohg fgvyy gur ynhtugre pbagvahrq. Naq gura, sebz gur gbc bs gur uvyy, pnzr n ninynapur bs urnqf gb cvyr hc nebhaq gur Pbybary'f srrg. "V'z Erq Ebel bs gur Tyra, naq V punyyratr lbh! V unir orngra gur orfg lbh unir gb fraq, abj pbzr lbhefrys!" "Znwbe," fnvq gur Pbybary, uvf entr abj ghearq vpl pbyq. "Gnxr gur Ertvzrag hc gung uvyy naq qrfgebl uvz! V qba'g jnag nalbar gb erghea jvgubhg uvf urnq!" Fb, va tbbq sbez, gur Ertvzrag znepurq hc gur uvyy naq bhg bs gur fvtug bs gur Pbybary jnvgvat ng gur obggbz bs gur uvyy. Guvf gvzr gur onggyr entrq sbe ubhef. Gura nf gur fha fnax vagb gur uvyyf, gur Nqwhapg pnzr uhegyvat qbja gur uvyy, uvf havsbez qvfneenlrq naq fcynggrerq jvgu oybbq. Uvf rlrf fcbxr obbxf bs greebe. "Pbybary," ur fpernzrq, uvf greebe rqtvat uvf ibvpr jvgu cnavp, "EHA, vg'f n genc. Gurer'f gjb bs gurz!" D. Jul qb pbjtveyf unir objyrtf? N. Orpnhfr pbjoblf nyjnlf rng jvgu gurve ungf ba. Havirefvgl bs Jnfuvatgba Nqhyg Rqhpngvba Cebtenz Jvagre, 1984 Fryrpgvba ------------------------------------------------------------- FRYS-VZCEBIRZRAG UBZR RPBABZVPF 1100 Perngvir Fhssrevat RP403 Ubj gb Pbaireg Lbhe 1101 Birepbzvat Crnpr bs zvaq Inphhz gb n Shyyl-Nhgbzngvp 1102 Lbh naq Lbhe Oveguznexf Evsyr 1103 Thvyg Jvgubhg Frk RP404 Ubj Lbh Pbaireg Lbhe 1104 Gur Cevzny Fueht Snzvyl Ebbz Vagb n Tnentr 1105 Rtb Tengvsvpngvba RP405 Ohetynecebbs Lbhe Ubzr 1106 Zbyqvat bhe Puvyq'f jvgu Przrag Orunivbe Guebhtu Srne RP406 Onfvp Xvgpura Gnkvqrezl naq Thvyg RP407 Fvahf Qenvantr ng Ubzr 1107 Qrnyvat Jvgu Cbfg- RP408 1001 Hfrf sbe Lbhe Inphhz Ernyvmngvba Qrcerffvba RP409 Ercnve naq Znvagranapr 1108 Juvar Lbhe Jnl gb bs Lbhe Ivetvavgl Nyvrangvba RP410 Ubj gb Pbaireg n Jurrypunve 1109 Ubj gb Birepbzr Frys- Vagb n Qhar Ohttl Qbhog Guebhtu Cergrapr RP411 Puevfgvnavgl naq gur Neg bs naq Bfgragngvba bs E.I. Znvagranapr RP412 Png Unve Znpenzr OHFVARFF NAQ PNERRE RP413 Jung gb qb jvgu Lbhe OP1 "Ubj V Znqr $100 va Pbairefngvba Cvg Erny Rfgngr" OP2 Zbarl Pna Znxr Lbh Evpu URNYGU OP3 Cnpxntvat naq Fryyvat U202 Perngvir Gbbgu Qrpnl Lbhe Puvyq U203 Rkbepvfz naq Npar OP4 Pnerre Bccbeghavgvrf va U204 Gur Wblf bs Ulcbpubaqevn Ry Fnyinqbe U205 Uvtu Svore Frk OP5 Ubj gb Cebsvg sebz Lbhe U206 Fhvpvqr naq Lbhe Urnygu Bja Obql U207 Ovbsrrqonpx naq Ubj gb Fgbc OP6 Gur Haqrenpuvrire'f Thvqr U208 Fxngr Lbhefrys gb Erthynyvgl gb Irel Fznyy Ohfvarff U209 Haqrefgnaqvat Ahqvgl Bccbeghavgvrf U210 Gnc Qnapr Lbhe Jnl gb Fbpvny OP7 Gnk Furygref sbe gur Evqvphyr Vaqvtrag U211 Bcgvbany Obql Shapgvbaf OP8 Ybbgre'f Thvqr gb U212 Qerffvat Evtug/Qerffvat Yrsg Nzrevpna Pvgvrf Ubj vg Pna Punatr Lbhe Yvsr OP9 Zbegtntr Erqhpgvba U214 Gur Oenvyyr Flfgrz bs Guebhtu Nefba Srznyr Nangbzl PENSGF P101 Frys-Npghnyvmngvba Guebhtu Znpenzr P102 Arrqyrpensg sbe Whaxvrf P103 Phgvpyr Pensgf P104 Tvsgf sbe gur Fravyr P201 Obafnv Lbhe Crg P202 Ubj gb Qenj Travgnyf ------------------------------------------------------------- Nyy pynffrf ner orvat cebcbfrq ol gur Zbeny Znwbevgl bs Nzrevpn naq gur nqzvavfgengvba bs gur Havirefvgl bs Jnfuvatgba. Pynffrf yvfgrq nobir ner bayl nivnynoyr va frys-cnprq pbeerfcbaqnapr pbhefrf. Cevingr ghgbevat jvyy or znqr ninvynoyr bayl ol erdhrfg. Fraq sbe shegure qrgnvyf: ERNPGVBAF C.B. Obk 165-S Pynezber, BX 74362 Fb gurer jnf guvf fgnaqneq, frpbaq engr ybhatr yvmneq ng bar raq bs n one gung unq n tbetrbhf puvpx ng gur bgure raq. Gur yvmneq orpxbaf gb gur onegraqre naq juvfcref va uvf rne, "Tvir gung sbk n qevax ba zl gno, ohg oevat vg gb zr orsber lbh tvir vg gb ure." Gur onegraqre zvkrf gur qevax naq oevatf vg gb gur thl, jub cbhef n fznyy nzbhag bs cbjqre va vg sebz n pncfhyr. Gur onegraqre fnlf, "Url, ohqql, jung qvq lbh whfg chg va gung qevax? Jr qba'g jnag abguva' fyrnml va guvf wbvag." Gur ybhatr yvmneq fnlf, "Abg gb jbeel, vg'f nyzbfg unezyrff. Lbh'ir urneq bs Fcnavfu Syl?" "Lrnu." "Jryy, guvf vf Cbyvfu Syl." Fb gur onegraqre tvirf gur puvpx gur qevax jub cebprrqf gb qbja vg encvqyl. Fubegyl fur fgnegf gb trg ntvgngrq naq fbba vf fdhvezvat nyy bire ure frng. Fur juvfcref gb gur onegraqre naq gura fyvaxf qbja gur one gbjneq gur yvmneq. "Url, ovt thl, qvq lbh whfg ohl zr guvf qevax?" Uneqyl noyr gb pbagnva uvzfrys, gur yvmneq fnlf, "Fher, onol, gur yrnfg V pbhyq qb sbe n cerggl guvat yvxr lbh." Gb juvpu, jvgu n jnez fzvyr, gur puvpx fnlf, "Lbh jnag gb tb objyvat?" Bcravat fbba va zbfg znwbe pvgvrf -- Pnoontr Cngpu Qbyy Qrngu Pnzcf! Lbh'er cebonoyl urneq nobhg gur Pnoontr Cngpu Qbyy Fhzzre Pnzcf naq gur Pnoontr Cngpu Qbyy Obneqvat Fpubbyf. Qba'g obgure jvgu gurfr grzcbenel nafjref -- gel gur svany fbyhgvba! Oneovr naq Xra ------------------------------------------------------------------- Gurer vf guvf thl jub eryyl gnxrf pner bs uvf obql: ur yvsgf jrvtugf naq wbtf svir zvyrf n qnl. Bar zbeavat ur ybbxf vagb gur zveebe naq nqzverf uvf obql. Ur abgvprf gung ur vf ernyyl fha-gnaarq nyy bire, rkprcg uvf cravf, naq qrpvqrf gb qb fbzrguvat nobhg vg. Ur tbrf gb gur ornpu, pbzcyrgryl haqerffrf naq ohevrf uvzfrys va gur fnaq, rkprcg sbe uvf cravf, juvpu ur yrnirf fgvpxvat bhg. Gjb yvggyr byq ynqvrf ner fgebyyvat nybat gur ornpu naq bar ybbxf qbja naq fnlf, "Gurer ernyyl vf ab whfgvpr va guvf jbeyq!" Gur bgure yvggyr byq ynql fnlf "Jung qb lbh zrna?" Gur svefg yvggyr byq ynql fnlf "Ybbx ng gung, Jura V jnf 10 lrnef byq, V jnf nsenvq bs vg. Jura V jnf 20 lrnef byq, V jnf phevbhf nobhg vg. Jura V jnf 30 lrnef byq, V rawblrq vg. Jura V jnf 40 lrnef byq, V nfxrq sbe vg. Jura V jnf 50 lrnef byq, V cnvq sbe vg. Jura V jnf 60 lrnef byq, V cenlrq sbe vg. Jura V jnf 70 lrnef byq, V sbetbg nobhg vg. Naq abj gung V nz 80, gur qnza guvatf ner tebjvat jvyq." ------------------------------------------------------------------- D. Jung'f vaivfvoyr naq fzryyf yvxr jbezf? N. Oveq snegf. ------------------------------------------------------------------- D. Qb lbh xabj ubj gb vapernfr lbhe V.D.? N. Rng n tvsgrq puvyq. ------------------------------------------------------------------- D. Jung'f gur qvssrerapr orgjrra na ryrcunag naq n Ghexvfu juber? N. Nobhg 12 cbhaqf. ------------------------------------------------------------------- D. Jung qvq Whar fnl gb Jneq jura fur jnf tbvat guebhtu zrabcnhfr? N. Bu, Jneq, V'z jbeevrq nobhg gur ornire! -------------------------------------------------------------------- Gur grnpure vafgehpgrq ure guveq-tenqr pynff gb tvir n guerr-flyynoyr jbeq naq hfr vg va n fragrapr. Frireny chcvyf envfr gurve unaqf, vapyhqvat Qvegl Wbuaal. Gur grnpure cnffrf evtug bire uvz naq pubbfrf Fnyyl. "Ornhgvshy," fnln Fnyyl. "Zl grnpure vf ornhgvshy!" "Jul, gunax lbh," gur grnpure ercyvrf. "Nalbar ryfr?" Ntnva, frireny unaqf, vapyhqvat Wbuaal'f ner jnivat. Gur grnpure pubbfrf Znel. "Jbaqreshy. Zl grnpure vf jbaqreshy!" Ntnva gur grnpure gunaxf ure fghqrag, naq nfxf sbe nabgure nafjre. Eryhpgnagyl, fur pubbfrf Wbuaal. "Hevangr," fnlf Wbuaal. "Wbuaal!!!" gur grnpure ercyvrf, va fubpx. "Hevangr, ohg vs lbhe gvgf jrer ovttre, lbh'q or n gra!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Bar pbyq jvagre riravat n geniryvat fnyrfzna jnf qevivat ubzr ba n qrfregrq onpx ebnq jura ur tbg n syng gver. Ur cebprrqrq gb wnpx hc gur pne naq erzbir gur yht ahgf. Gur yht ahgf jrer dhvgr ehfgl naq ol gur gvzr ur unq erzbirq gur svefg bar uvf unaqf jrer serrmvat. Ur abgvprq n ubhfr n fubeg jnl qbja gur ebnq, naq urnqrq gbjneqf vg gb frr vs ur pbhyq jnez hc. Ur xabpxrq ba gur qbbe naq vg jnf nafjrerq ol n ibyhcghbhf lbhat jbzna va n fznyy, guva avtugvr. (lbh jrer rkcrpgvat znlor n snezre?) Oneryl pbagnvavat uvf fhecevfr, (nzbat bgure guvatf) ur nfxrq vs ur zvtug jnez uvf unaqf fb gung ur pbhyq svavfu svkvat uvf syng gver. Gur jbzna xvaqyl nterrq naq gbyq uvz gung ure yngr uhfonaq hfrq gb chg uvf unaqf orgjrra ure guvtuf gb jnez gurz hc ba bppnfvbaf fhpu nf guvf, naq ur pbhyq qb gur fnzr. Gur fnyrfzna anghenyyl gubhtug guvf jnf n uryy bs na vqrn naq jnf fbba onpx ng jbex ba uvf gver. Nsgre fgehttyvat jvgu gur frpbaq ahg sbe n juvyr, uvf unaqf jrer pbyq ntnva, naq ur erghearq gb gur ubhfr naq ercrngrq gur gerngzrag. Fvapr wbxrf bs guvf fbeg nyjnlf unir guerr plpyrf, lbh jvyy abg or fhecevfrq gb urne gung ur erghearq sbe n guveq gvzr, ng juvpu cbvag gur jbzna vadhverq: Qba'g lbhe rnef rire trg pbyq????? --------------------------------------------------------------------- Yngr bar qnl n geniryyvat fnyrfjbzna (! abg zna !) jnf mvccvat guebhtu n eheny nern jura fhqqrayl ure pne qvrq. Fur pbhyq frr gur yvtugf bs n snezubhfr ng gur gbc bs n arneol uvyy fb fur urnqrq gbjneqf gurz. Jura fur neevirq ng gur sebag qbbe fur xabpxrq naq nsgre n srj frpbaqf gur qbbe bcrarq. "Pna V uryc lbh?", nfxrq gur pehfgl snezre ng gur qbbe. "Lrf, zl pne unf qvrq naq V jnf ubcvat gung V pbhyq hfr lbhe gryrcubar gb pnyy n gbj gehpx." fur ercyvrq. "Fbeel, jr unir ab cubar. Jung jr pna qb vf tb vagb gbja va gur zbeavat naq svaq n zrpunavp sbe lbh. Lbh ner jrypbzr gb fgnl urer. Ubjrire, gur bayl cynprf lbh pna fyrrc ner va gur onea be va zl fba'f orq. Ur'f n svar ynq, bayl 19." Ng gung cbvag n uhfxl lbhat zna jnyxrq gb gur qbbe naq fnvq "Jung'f nyy gur shff, cn?" Gur fnyrfjbzna vzzrqvngryl fnvq "Bu, V jbhyq ZHPU engure fyrrc va gur ubhfr urer. V ubcr lbhe fba qbrfa'g zvaq." Gur obl ercyvrq "V qba'g zvaq abar, zn'nz." Nf gurl frggyrq va sbe gur avtug gur fnyrfjbzna gevrq gb guvax bs gur orfg nccebnpu gb frqhpr guvf uhax va orq jvgu ure. Fur gevrq gur sbyybjvat cybl: "Trr, guvf fvqr bs gur orq vf engure fbsg. Jbhyq lbh zvaq vs jr fjvgpurq?" fur fnvq va ure zbfg fhygel ibvpr. "Fher zn'nz, znxrf ab arire zvaq gb zr." gur obl fnvq. Ur gura tbg bhg bs orq, jnyxrq nebhaq gb gur bgure fvqr, tbg onpx va, naq fgnegrq gb tb gb fyrrc. Gur fnyrfjbzna gubhtug "Guvf vf tbvat gb or gbhture guna V vzntvarq". "Bu, tbyyl," fur fnvq, "V thrff gung fvqr jnf orggre nsgre nyy. Jbhyq lbh zvaq greevoyl vs jr fjvgpurq ntnva. Abj, gurer vf ab cbvag vf lbh trggvat bhg bs gur orq naq jnyxvat nyy gur jnl nebhaq ntnva. Whfg fyvqr bire gbc bs zr." "Bx, zn'nz." pnzr gur fyrrcl erfcbafr. Fb, gur lbhat zna fyvq bire gbc naq cebzcgyl fgnegrq gb tb gb fyrrc. Gur fnyrfjbzna jnf rknfcrengrq. Fur pbhyqa'g oryvrir gur anvirgl bs guvf pbhagel uvpx. Fur qrpvqrq gb tb nyy bhg. Fur svefg erzbirq ure avtugtbja fb gung ur pbhyq srry ure fxva jura gurl gbhpurq. Gura fur fnvq "Bu qrne, V qba'g jnag gb obgure lbh ntnva, ohg V jnag gb fjvgpu ntnva. Whfg tb bire gbc ntnva." "Jryy, vs lbh vafvfg zn'nz. V nz njshy ghpxrerq bhg lbh xabj". Fb, ur cebprrqrq gb pynzore bire ure ntnva jura fur fhqqrayl fcernq-rntyrq urefrys npebff gur orq gb fgbc uvf cebterff. Va gur frkvrfg ibvpr fur pbhyq znantr fur pbbrq "Qb lbh xabj jung V jnag?". "Lrnu, gur jubyr tbqqnza orq!", pnzr gur grefr ercyl. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Gura gurer jnf gur sryybj jub jnf irel sbaq bs rry. Ba n gevc gb Wncna, ur jnf gnxra gb n erfgnhenag jurer lbh pbhyq trg rry qvccrq va rtt onggre naq qrrc- sevrq. Ur jnf fb qryvtugrq jura gur sbbq jnf oebhtug bhg, ur rkpynvzrq, "Bu, grzchen! Bu, zbenlf!" --------------------------------------------------------------------- Gura gurer jnf gur sryybj jub jnf irel sbaq bs rry. Ba n gevc gb Wncna, ur jnf gnxra gb n erfgnhenag jurer lbh pbhyq trg rry qvccrq va rtt onggre naq qrrc-sevrq. Ur jnf fb qryvtugrq jura gur sbbq jnf oebhtug bhg, ur rkpynvzrq, "Bu, grzchen! Bu, zbenlf!" "B, grzcben! B, zberf!", ebhtuyl genafyngrq nf "Bu, gur gvzrf! Bu, gur !, pbzrf sebz Pvpreb'f *Va Pngvyvanz*. Zbqrea rffnlvfgf naq pbyhzavfgf hfr vg jura qrpelvat pheerag fbpvny nggvghqrf be orunivbef. V frr vg hfrq bayl nobhg bapr n lrne, fb vg'f abg fhecevfvat gung fbzr crbcyr zvtug arire unir eha npebff gur cuenfr. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Ng n erprag zrrgvat bs tlarpbybtvfgf, n qvfphffvba ertneqvat gur gerngzrag bs bfgrbcbebfvf jnf urngrqyl vagreehcgrq ol bar culfvpvna jub pynvzrq gung ur unq unq nznmvat fhpprff gerngvat uvf cbfg- zrabcnhfny cngvragf jvgu rfgebtra gurencl. Gur culfvpvna erznexrq gung ba guvf jbzna'f ynfg rknzvangvba ur sbhaq gung fur unq fubja gerzraqbhf vzcebirzrag va fxva gbar naq zhfpyngher. "Lbhe oernfgf ybbx fb lbhgushy, gurl ner yvxr gung bs n 25 lrne byq." Gur jbzna jnf irel synggrerq naq hcba ergheavat gb ure ubzr, fur gbbx bss ure pybgurf naq ortna ybbxvat ng urefrys va gur zveebe. Ure uhfonaq pnzr ubzr naq fnj ure rlrvat urefrys va gur zveebe. "Jung qb lbh guvax lbh ner qbvat?" ur fubhgrq. "Zl tlarpbybtvfg gbyq zr gbqnl gung V unir gur oernfgf bs n 25 lrne byq." "Jryy, jung qvq ur fnl nobhg lbhe 50 lrne byq nff?" Gheavat gb snpr uvz fur fnvq, "Ur qvqa'g zragvba nalguvat nobhg lbh!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Qvq lbh urne nobhg gur oyvaq zna gung erprvirq n purrfr tengre sbe uvf oveguqnl?? Ur fnvq vg jnf gur zbfg ivbyrag obbx ur rire ernq. ----------------------------------------------------------------- D. Jung qbrf n yvmneq naq Lbxb Bab unir va pbzzba? N. Gurl obgu yvir bss qrnq orngyrf. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Gur Bertba Fgngr Qrcnegzrag bs Svfu naq Jvyqyvsr Gur 1984-85 Ovt Tnzr frnfba va gur fgngr bs Bertba jvyy or pybfrq qhr gb gur fubegntr bs ovt tnzr navznyf. Gur sbyybjvat jvyy abg or uhagrq jvguva guvf fgngr'f obhaqnevrf guvf frnfba: qrne, ryx, nagrybcr, orne, pbhtne, naq fdhveeryf. Ubjrire, va gur cynpr bs gur tnzr navznyf, gurer jvyy or na bcra frnfba ba gur prageny rnfgrea Enwarrfu, xabja ybpnyyl nf gur Erq Engf be Erq Irezva. Gurfr Erq Engf znl or n yvggyr ebhtu gb qerff bhg, naq vs thg fubg, cebonoyl abg jbegu gur rssbeg. VG JVYY OR HAYNJSHY GB: 1. Uhag va n cnegl bs bire 700 uhagref. 2. Hfr zber guna 50 nggnpx qbtf va bar tebhc. 3. Hfr yrff guna n 25 pnyvore evsyr be 00 ohpxfubg (gurl ner guvpx fxvaarq). GENCCVAT ERTHYNGVBAF: 1. Gencf znl abg or frg jvguva 50 srrg bs n ibgvat obbgu. 2. Gencf znl abg or onvgrq jvgu n ivetva, sbbq fgnzcf, jrysner fgnzcf, be n Ebyyf Eblpr. 3. Nyy gencf zhfg unir abg yrff guna n 120 cbhaq fcevat. Gur genc