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From: whitehur@tymix.UUCP (Pamela K. Whitehurst)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: teens
Message-ID: <694@tymix.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 12-Mar-86 13:05:53 EST
Article-I.D.: tymix.694
Posted: Wed Mar 12 13:05:53 1986
Date-Received: Fri, 14-Mar-86 07:28:03 EST
References: <2009@uwmacc.UUCP> <41400003@uiucdcs> <339@hropus.UUCP>
Reply-To: whitehur@tymix.UUCP (Pamela K. Whitehurst)
Organization: Tymnet Inc., Cupertino CA
Lines: 42

In article <339@hropus.UUCP> jin@hropus.UUCP (Bear) writes:
>I have been following this discussion on telling a 16 year old daughter
>about contraception.  I was not going to respond because  I am not a
>parent and thought that this discussion should be left to parents.
>However the 18 year old "responsible" daughter's self righteous advice
>has left me shaking.
>
>Who is she, by inuendo, to call those teens who practice sex sluts?
>Or does she (or her classmates, although if she doesn't agree why quote
>them?) only refer to the women as sluts?  What stigmatization!
>To suggest that a 16 year old would be insulted by contraceptive
>literature (or for that matter, material) provided tactfully by a loving
>and concerned parent is ridiculous.  

What the "18 year old responsible daughter" has shown us is: teenagers have
an opinion on sex.  Her views may seem prudish but she, and others, have 
formed that opinion of classmates who practice sex.  Teenagers are not
usually tolerant of those who act different than their group.  This
business of growing up can be difficult. One thing that makes it easier
is to say "I am good because I believe and act this way, just like my
friends."  This, however, sometimes means those who do not act this way 
are viewed as bad. 
It takes time to have enough self-confidence to accept differences and 
to realize that people are more than just one set of actions.
I guess one of the jobs of a teenager's parent is to help keep their
minds open (and our own).  

There are 16 year olds who would be insulted by contraceptive literature
(MOM! How could you think I'd even want to do that!)  no matter how
tactfully the loving and concerned parent approached the topic.  This
does not get rid of the need to provide knowledge. It just makes it
more challenging.
-- 

     P. K. Whitehurst 
hplabs!oliveb!tymix!whitehur

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| General Disclaimer: The above opinions are my own and |
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