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From: ruppert@apollo.uucp (Deborah J. Ruppert)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: Adoption Advice Wanted
Message-ID: <2c73c664.41da@apollo.uucp>
Date: Wed, 12-Mar-86 13:25:16 EST
Article-I.D.: apollo.2c73c664.41da
Posted: Wed Mar 12 13:25:16 1986
Date-Received: Fri, 14-Mar-86 07:42:43 EST
References: <557@mhuxr.UUCP> <52@gilbbs.UUCP>
Organization: Apollo Computer, Chelmsford, Mass.
Lines: 43

Congratulations on choosing to adopt!  My son arrived
from El Salvador 2-1/2 years ago at the age of two, and
has been a joy.

Coupla things:  1)  Start talking about how your child
arrived in your family as soon as possible.  6-8 is too
late.  One good way to do it is to start a special 
scrapbook of your child, beginning with pictures on
arrival day and chronicling development over the years.
Even very young children like to look at pictures of
themselves and you can tell the story of how "Mommy
and Daddy waited and waited and then the adoption agency
brought you to our family and how happy we were", with
emphasis on choosing to have the child in the family.
It is important to be clear about adoption as soon as
you start talking to the child, even if you don't get
a response right away.  Because when s/he begins asking
questions about "Where do Babies Come From?" the issues
are clearer if s/he already knows about adoption and can
separate gestation from parenting.  (well, not in those
words, not to a 2-year-old).

2)  Good books:  Where Did I Come From? (author/publisher
unknown, 'cause the book is at home, but it is a large
format book with many drawings).  This is the basic
"sex ed" book for youngsters up the age of about 10--no
nonsense, big words defined well, and the best description
of orgasm geared to a child's perception I've ever seen.
My son had his copy before he even arrived in our family.

And the reason I recommend it is mainly because of its
companion volume:  Why Was I Adopted?.  Same author/publisher,
should be found in most major bookstored.  Same approach
to a difficult subject.  Good bedtime reading material.

3)  For more resources, look for an adoptive parents
support group in your area.  Your agency may be able to
point you to some.  

Good luck!  Good parenting!

Deb Ruppert
Apollo