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From: cycy@isl1.ri.cmu.edu (Christopher Young)
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: Re: Antibody testing
Message-ID: <241@isl1.ri.cmu.edu>
Date: Thu, 20-Mar-86 19:00:23 EST
Article-I.D.: isl1.241
Posted: Thu Mar 20 19:00:23 1986
Date-Received: Tue, 25-Mar-86 04:07:39 EST
References: <237@isl1.ri.cmu.edu>, <1750@bbncca.ARPA>
Organization: Carnegie-Mellon University, CS/RI
Lines: 40

>Even people (straight as well as gay?) in "monogamous relationships" should
>be following "safe sex guidelines."  There is no way of guaranteeing one's
>s'other is faithful: death is too high a price to pay for blind trust.
>Sorry for being blunt.
>
>						Regards,
>						Ron Rizzo

This may be true to some, but it does not bother me. I do not enter into
relationships blindly. If I have any doubt about the trustworthyness of
somebody, I will not (I guess I should say would not, since I'm taken)
even date them. I do not make friends with those I cannot trust. Trust is
an essential part of friendship, and an even greater part of an "intimate
relationship". We generally don't tend towards "unsafe sex" anyway, but that
is not the point. The point is that I can trust my s'other with my life. If
I couldn't, he would not be my s'other. 

If one could guarantee one's s'other is faithful, he (s'other) would not be, in
a sense, faithful. Faithfulness comes through volition. A technique which would
guarantee the he would not go out on me would make him do so with or without
his volition.

I do not look forward to death, but I have come to terms with it. It will
happen to everybody at some time or another. It's part of life. The important
thing I think is that we repect other people's lives. That is why, in my
opinion, people should practise "safe sex" if they are to have encounters
outside of a monogomous relationship. It is not really for my safety that
I would worry about transmitting AIDS, but because I wouldn't want to give
it to any other person. For that reason, I would submit to the test.

By the way, I'm not trying to seem like a saint; I probably could not
handle the guilt of making somebody so ill, essentially killing them. Also, I
would not relish the of dying from AIDS (I would prefer old age, and in my
sleep), but that is not the point. I would rather not know if I was going to
die; that would tend to ruin my day. But I do have an obligation to find this
out if there is a chance I will infect another person.

My s'other and I have been together long enough that if one of us has it,
then probably we both do. But since we will not be affecting anybody else,
I do not see it necessary to be tested. Thus, my opinion.