Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!mit-eddie!think!harvard!seismo!umcp-cs!aplcen!jhunix!ins_akaa From: ins_akaa@jhunix.UUCP (Ken Arromdee) Newsgroups: net.rumor Subject: Re: A new PC from Cray? Message-ID: <2141@jhunix.UUCP> Date: Sun, 9-Mar-86 01:32:55 EST Article-I.D.: jhunix.2141 Posted: Sun Mar 9 01:32:55 1986 Date-Received: Wed, 12-Mar-86 21:47:44 EST References: <196@octopus.UUCP> <11997@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU> <399@ur-tut.UUCP> <1494@gitpyr.UUCP> <2126@jhunix.UUCP> <2134@jhunix.UUCP> Reply-To: ins_akaa@jhunix.ARPA (Ken Arromdee) Distribution: net Organization: TARDIS Repairs, Inc. Lines: 79 In article <2134@jhunix.UUCP> ins_ampm@jhunix.ARPA (Michael P McKenna) writes: >>> >>Actually, it uses thiotimoline-based organic superconducting circuits. > ***** BLATANT PRODUCT ANNOUNCEMENT ***** This is a violation of all standards of the net, to allow such a blatant advertisement! This has been a public service announcement from Multiple Universe Distributors (MUD). MUD has no need for using illegal substances such as thiotimoline in its computer equipment. We are a conglomeration of software developers in googols of parallel universes. Although travel to parallel universes has been considered far beyond current scientific knowledge, our MUD specialists have found a way. Simply create a set of random ASCII symbols of sufficient length. Anything MUST happen in at least one of the multiversal infinitude. In particular, in at least one parallel universe the random ASCII symbols would just happen to spell out correct, detailed instructions for the con- struction of a machine to send objects across universes. That parallel universe can then send the plans to all the other parallel universes. Furthermore, once this has been done, the same procedure can be used to produce a computer program (with documentation) to do anything desired; just create random letters and the universe that happens to get the result can send it to all the others. This also allows software written to order. Some of our current software products for the Cray PC are: Un-copier: Makes any program uncopyable by Nu-copier or any other copy programs. Nu-copier: Copies any program regardless of any other copy protection (such as Un-copier) on it. IF: Infinite loop finder. Detects programs that will fall into infinite loops when run on specific sets of data. Has been tested with copies of IF modified to go into an infinite loop after printing out the "No loop as currently run" message. BASICBASIC: A subset of Basic for those who have difficulty learning the full language. Currently supports only "PRINT" and "GOTO" (including computed GOTO) which together with our optional "LET" statement interpreter, allows ANY computational task to be performed. Zork XLII: A new adventure game that doesn't just simulate interacting with the real world, it actually does it. Examine and affect anything going on in the world. (Note: MUD's offices are protected by an Improbability Field against invasion by users of this product.) Users must be in the FBI, CIA, NSA, or have top-level government clearance. Coming soon: a new version that will work in space too. Anti-compiler: Un-understandable programs can be made understandable again. Can be used to transform assembly language programs into higher level languages, and can transform any high level language into an even higher level one. Especially good for "impossible to reverse engineer" programs from our competitors. (Disclaimer: manuals are not provided for the infinitely higher levels of languages output. They may be obtained at the low fee of $99.95 each, times the number in a set for a full set of language manuals. This is a low fee if you can afford a Cray PC at the prices charged for one.) Some of our hardware add-ons are: Erase-only Memory: Up to 355 terabytes. Cray PC Unlimiter of Time Limits (CPU Time Limit): With this your Cray PC really CAN do an infinite loop in three seconds. Reality configurators: Changes reality by Infinite Improbability methods. * 4 Dimension Joystick: This device, containing a patented non-thiotimoline integrated circuit, can be used in cases when the computer needs its input before its output. The only joystick with a negative response time! Tardis control: Now your Cray PC can be used to control your Tardis! Dimen- sional stabilizers, dematerialization circuits, chameleon circuits can now be directly interfaced with our control panels and your Cray PC. Other interfaces are available through our subsidiary Tardis repairs, Inc. (established 1989) Works with all Tardises made after the Type 39. * Because philosophers have never agreed on what is real, MUD unfortunately cannot guarantee that anything specific is real and thus can be affected by this attachment. -- Kenneth Arromdee | | BITNET: G46I4701 at JHUVM, INS_AKAA at JHUVMS -|------|- CSNET: ins_akaa@jhunix.CSNET -|------|- ARPA: ins_akaa%jhunix@hopkins.ARPA -|------|- UUCP: {allegra!hopkins, seismo!umcp-cs, ihnp4!whuxcc} -|------|- !jhunix!ins_akaa | |