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From: ins_akaa@jhunix.UUCP (Ken Arromdee)
Newsgroups: net.rumor
Subject: Re: A new PC from Cray?
Message-ID: <2230@jhunix.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 15-Mar-86 18:11:52 EST
Article-I.D.: jhunix.2230
Posted: Sat Mar 15 18:11:52 1986
Date-Received: Tue, 18-Mar-86 01:57:43 EST
References: <196@octopus.UUCP> <11997@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU>
Reply-To: ins_akaa@jhunix.ARPA (Ken Arromdee)
Distribution: net
Organization: TARDIS Repairs, Inc.
Lines: 68

In article <47@ur-tut.UUCP> tuba@ur-tut.UUCP (Jon Krueger) writes:
>>We are a conglomeration of software developers in
>>googols of parallel universes.  Although travel to parallel universes has
>>been considered far beyond current scientific knowledge, our MUD specialists
>>have found a way.  Simply create a set of random ASCII symbols of sufficient
>>length.  Anything MUST happen in at least one of the multiversal infinitude.
>> . . .
>Ken, you didn't warn your customers about a limitation of your product:
>universe incompatibility.  For instance, the Blue universe is nearly
>incapable of communicating with the other universes.  Do you sell universe
>migration tools, or code generation for target universes?  If I write my
>code well, what are its chances of porting to another universe?  To a Blue
>universe?

You misunderstand.  This is only the method used to create our programs 
(and to create the universe-travelling machine in the first place).
Code once produced can work in any parallel universe whose computers are
of the appropriate type.

Of course, our software may have unintended features in some alternate
universes (i.e. those not almost identical to this one; by definition one
with incompatible computers is alternate, not parallel.  Note: we have not yet
found any serial universes).  For instance, on Earth-3, the BIOS call on the
IBM PC that reads a disk sector instead, due to the different design of the
computers, means "format regardless of disk protection."  No lawsuits against
us have yet succeeded, mainly because we're in a different universe, and
there are no extradition or other legal-related treaties between theirs and
ours.

Furthermore we have encountered another minor problem that should be fixed
real soon now.  Although random ASCII symbols are guaranteed to produce 
correct programs in at least one universe, they are also guaranteed to
produce every different possible incorrect program in at least one of the
infinite universes.  Of course, testing the programs will manage
to weed out many of these, but we still have some programs which are correct
except for a line which says to format the hard disk after the 576th run
of the program.  These small problems have sometimes caused slight incon-
vebiences for our customers, but all in all our customers have been very
supportive.

Regrettably, however, our company must take a temporary halt in delivering
its line of fine software for the Cray PC.  As you may recall, our
parallel-universe travelling machine was also produced by random ASCII
symbols in a parallel universe.  Devices produced in such a manner will,
at rare intervals, malfunction as the programs do.  In theory, the random
ASCII instructions may even tell how to build a device that, instead of
travelling to parallel universes, destroys them all instantly.  There are
an infinite number of parallel universes, and anything possible, no matter
how improbable, must happen in at least one of them.  Some groups, may, of
course, be somewhat upset at our building of a machine from random character
instructions without any real guarantee that it would actually travel across
universes and not do something else on (say) its 167874883'd use, but we have
decided that if we don't do it, an alternate universe version of our company
will, somewhere.  The reason we are making this heretofore proprietary infor-
mation available to the public is that our machine has stopped sending to
other universes and instead has created a minor disturbance in the space-time
continuum.  The disturbance is totally under control, and has in fact been
growing only about 900 miles and 6 universes per day.  So we look forward
to your continued patronage, for the short time we all have left.

>					-- Jon Krueger
-- 
Kenneth Arromdee                                               |      |
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