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From: jane@ames.UUCP (Jane Medefesser)
Newsgroups: net.women,net.singles
Subject: Re: Has this ever happened to you??
Message-ID: <1431@ames.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 6-Mar-86 11:30:46 EST
Article-I.D.: ames.1431
Posted: Thu Mar  6 11:30:46 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 8-Mar-86 22:37:29 EST
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Organization: NASA-Ames Research Center, Mtn. View, CA
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Xref: watmath net.women:9596 net.singles:10762


Regarding the discussion on dating and intelligence, I just thought I
would throw in my own 2-cents worth.

Terry Grevstad writes..:
> I didn't get married until I was 27 (almost 28-)),

Same here, only I was about a year younger. I, like Terry, am considered a
"SMART" woman but unlike Terry I am a joiner and DID join Mensa. (Thought it
might look good on my resume :-)) 

The men I dated until I got married were usually not aware of any great 
intelligence on my part until they got to know me a little better. I think
I may have sort of hid it for a while. One guy used to get real offended when I
used "big words" (*his* interpretation, they were used all the time in my home)
and thought that I was trying to put him down when in fact I  was trying to be
more clear in my conversation. I really had to talk down to him. FORTUNATELY,
that didn't last, but I was young and foolish at the time. The others, though
usually found my intelligence intriguing and had enough self esteem not to
feel threatened by it. My husband treats my intelligence the same way he
treats my green eyes - part of just being the 'me' he loves. (He'll tease me
good naturedly if I pull a real bonehead move sometimes. "Mensa, huh?")

By and large, though, I found that if I was dating a guy with enough similar
interests to my own that the intelligence did not hinder or help the
relationship. I like to shrug it off and concentrate on having fun. I turn
up the IQ when I get to work and turn it down when I leave. Too much hard
thinking makes my head hurt anyways.

A word about IQ - I think it's overrated. IQ in itself doesn't make a person
smarter than another. It's AMBITION. IQ just makes it a little easier.

And now, before this gets too long................




Jane Medefesser
Informatics General Corp.
NASA Ames Research Center 
Moffett Field, California
{..dual,riacs,hplabs,ihnp4}!ames!jane