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From: rcj@burl.UUCP (Curtis Jackson)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Coping with the loss of SO
Message-ID: <1104@burl.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 8-Mar-86 20:03:50 EST
Article-I.D.: burl.1104
Posted: Sat Mar  8 20:03:50 1986
Date-Received: Sun, 9-Mar-86 07:57:53 EST
References: <575@aesat.UUCP>
Reply-To: rcj@burl.UUCP (Curtis Jackson)
Organization: AT&T Technologies, Burlington NC
Lines: 50
Summary: 

In article <575@aesat.UUCP> matt@aesat.UUCP (Matt Hill) writes:
>How did you cope?

Well, my last SO and I lived together for 2 years and were engaged
for more than half of that, so I took it pretty hard.  But it had
been coming for some time, and since she had taken a temporary (now
permanent) job in New Hampshire just before we broke it off the
distance helped.  We are still great friends, she writes; I call.
The toughest thing was that the crazy broad met a guy in New Hamshire
and was married to him 9 weeks later!!  That took some ego massaging
to overcome!  But I visited up there and partied with both of them;
he's a super guy, so it all works out.

Four things helped me to cope very well:

a) I had been (relatively) here before.
b) Friends.  Real friends, not acquaintances or friends who said, "Gee,
   sorry you and Rhonda broke up." and then walked away -- I'm talking
   GREAT friends.  Bunches of them.  I was very moved and honored to
   have such nice people care about me so much -- and almost all of
   them are people in my group here at work -- also shows what a wonderful
   work environment (from that angle) I have!!
c) A couple of very nice ladies who decided that I needed some helpful therapy.
   That kind of therapy can do *wonders* to help one cope.  And when
   they're relatively old friends it is really a warm feeling.
d) Booze.  No, I was not a crying-in-the-beer drunk (not much), I was quite
   jolly.  No, alcohol did not help me to cope.  But drinking copious
   quantities at frequent intervals did help because one day I just looked
   in the mirror and said to myself, "What is your ##%@$@ problem?!" and
   decided to resume a reasonable life and cut out this excessive boozing
   garbage.  (Saved by the bottle -- maybe I should go to church and yell,
   "I've been saved!" and then proceed to tell them how  ;-)

>Has you outlook on life changed?

Nah, I'm older and wiser and all that crap; and I've been almost completely
out of the 'game' for about 2.5 years now, but I'm *just* about ready to
jump right back in again!

>How has your opinion of yourself changed?

Well, after all the nice people made it known how much they cared for me,
I'd definitely have to say that my opinion of myself has been raised
considerably (if that is possible!); I must be a neat guy to have friends
like I got!
-- 

The MAD Programmer -- 919-228-3313 (Cornet 291)
alias: Curtis Jackson	...![ ihnp4 ulysses cbosgd mgnetp ]!burl!rcj
			...![ ihnp4 cbosgd akgua masscomp ]!clyde!rcj