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From: flackc@stolaf.UUCP (Chap Flack)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Saying no (really misunderstanding)
Message-ID: <5139@stolaf.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 7-Mar-86 18:21:33 EST
Article-I.D.: stolaf.5139
Posted: Fri Mar  7 18:21:33 1986
Date-Received: Tue, 11-Mar-86 00:26:29 EST
References: <1369@osu-eddie.UUCP> <3286@sun.uucp> <686@rti-sel.UUCP> <10179@amdcad.UUCP>
Organization: Carleton College, Northfield, MN
Lines: 30

> In article <686@rti-sel.UUCP> wfi@rti-sel.UUCP (William Ingogly) writes:
> >Let me put it this way. There's a couple living next door who you have
> >absolutely no interest in sexually. But they seem like nice enough
> >people, so you decide to ask them over for dinner. You get four "Gee,
> >thanks, but we're washing our hair" responses in a row. Are you
> >inclined to ask them over for dinner again? 
> 
> But that is the difference, that you are interested in a person sexually.

This reminds me, indirectly, of my favorite problem.
I tend to be busy enough that if I meet people who interest me
*as friends*, unless they happen to be working very closely with me,
I will never get to know them without arranging to spend more time
with them--i.e., asking them out.  So I do this pretty often, and it
*hardly ever* means that I have a sexual interest (which in me never
seems to develop until I've known someone for a while, and that's the
way I like it).

I suspect that a number of women who have turned me down did so
because they misunderstood why I was asking.  (I try to be clear,
but I'll admit I've never opened with "Look, I'm *not* interested
in you sexually...." |-{      )   I have, sometimes, explained very
clearly later, which gets widely varying reactions.

Anybody have any thoughts on this?
-- 
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Chap Flack				ihnp4!stolaf!agnes!flackc
Carleton College			ihnp4!stolaf!flackc
Northfield, MN  55057