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From: pooh@unirot.UUCP (Pooh)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Saying no (really misunderstanding)
Message-ID: <361@unirot.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 11-Mar-86 10:59:09 EST
Article-I.D.: unirot.361
Posted: Tue Mar 11 10:59:09 1986
Date-Received: Fri, 14-Mar-86 04:21:54 EST
References: <1369@osu-eddie.UUCP> <3286@sun.uucp> <686@rti-sel.UUCP> <10179@amdcad.UUCP> <5139@stolaf.UUCP>
Reply-To: pooh@unirot.UUCP (Pooh)
Organization: Public Access Unix -- Piscataway
Lines: 32

In article <5139@stolaf.UUCP> flackc@stolaf.UUCP (Chap Flack) writes:
>
>I suspect that a number of women who have turned me down did so
>because they misunderstood why I was asking.  (I try to be clear,
>but I'll admit I've never opened with "Look, I'm *not* interested
>in you sexually...." |-{      )   I have, sometimes, explained very
>clearly later, which gets widely varying reactions.
>
>Anybody have any thoughts on this?

I just sat down and tried to figure out how I "ask someone out" who
I'm not interested in sexually but would like to do something with--
for example, my officemate. . .:-)  Usually I suggest that we do
something and add "Is there anyone else you want to invite?"  This
takes a LOT of pressure off someone if there's any question as to
your intentions.  Or instead of going out for lunch, I say, "I'm
going to pick something up--do you want me to bring something back
for you?"  Half the time we end up both going out to eat instead.
After a while of that, people tend to relax and they don't worry
as much about going someplace alone with you.  

I agree that it might not be exactly politic to start off an
invitation with  "I'm not interested in your body at all. . ." :-)

NOTE for you net.grammarians:  I managed to write this whole article
without mentioning gender OR mixing singular with plural.  Now,
where did I put that aspirin. . .? :-)

Pooh            topaz!unipress!pooh
                topaz!unirot!pooh

Yow! fun is on the way--I can see it from here. . .