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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!bellcore!decvax!mcnc!rti-sel!wfi
From: wfi@rti-sel.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: those damned men
Message-ID: <718@rti-sel.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 11-Mar-86 16:01:51 EST
Article-I.D.: rti-sel.718
Posted: Tue Mar 11 16:01:51 1986
Date-Received: Fri, 14-Mar-86 04:25:11 EST
References: <42200027@convex>
Reply-To: wfi@rti-sel.UUCP (William Ingogly)
Organization: Research Triangle Institute, NC
Lines: 27
Summary: 

In article <42200027@convex> ahearn@convex.UUCP writes:

>   What do you do with a city boy if half of the world's population
>   expects him to _know_ how to find his way through the woods?

It's not that they expect you to 'know' how, it's that they assume you
approach life the way they do...
 
>2. If women recognize these types of problems so consistently, why
>   are they often unwilling to give the men they're involved with
>   the benefit of the doubt? ...

...and men are guilty of the same thing. We assume motivations behind
the actions of the opposite sex that may not really be there. So a
woman who has been raised to express affection through touching
'expects' her male lover will express affection through touching, and
a man who has been taught to avoid touching 'expects' his female lover
will understand that he really feels affection for her because of his
little compliments, gifts, etc. 
 
The remedy is the simplest and at the same time the most difficult
thing in the world: BETTER COMMUNICATION. Verbalize your wants,
expectations, and disappointments to each other. Don't hold back out
of pride, fear of rejection, or anything else, because the
consequences (as most of us have found out) can be dire.

                          -- Cheers, Bill Ingogly