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From: ccs025@ucdavis.UUCP (Johan)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Introduction, Question on "second-time" relationships
Message-ID: <237@ucdavis.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 12-Mar-86 18:42:14 EST
Article-I.D.: ucdavis.237
Posted: Wed Mar 12 18:42:14 1986
Date-Received: Fri, 14-Mar-86 06:10:29 EST
References: <2750@reed.UUCP>
Organization: University of California, Davis
Lines: 27

>                              The Question:
> 
>      Have any of you ever seemingly permanently broken up with an SO only to
> find yourself starting a relationship with this same SO later in your life?  I
> have and I call this a "second time" relationship.  If you have found yourself  in this situation, did the relationship work as well the second time around?  

   I have done this more than once.  MY opinion is that it
was for very stupid reasons which led to the relationship not
working again.  I seem to forget all the bad aspects of past
relationships and completely ignore the fact that we were
incompatible.  I guess hindsight is only 20-20 for 
good memories.  My last girlfriend and I dated for four
years.  During the last two we broke up several
times 'for good', only to come back together again.  Things
never changed.  The EXACT same arguments would pop up.
I might be bitter, but if I could give any advise to people
it would be to never say or listen to "I can change".
  I have matured and learned, however.  I know now that I
am secure enough and in enough control to see things for
what they are.  I think that is the problem with starting
a second relationship with a SO, the decisions are being
made from the heart and memory, and not common sense.
   The above are my opinions. No criticism please. Comments welcome.
-- 
                         Johan
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