Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site virgo.UUCP Path: utzoo!decvax!bellcore!petrus!virgo!pc From: pc@virgo.UUCP (Peter Clitherow) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: What to do together Message-ID: <148@virgo.UUCP> Date: Thu, 6-Mar-86 00:11:06 EST Article-I.D.: virgo.148 Posted: Thu Mar 6 00:11:06 1986 Date-Received: Sat, 15-Mar-86 04:17:59 EST References: <489@ssc-bee.UUCP> <412@utastro.UUCP> <4571@mhuxd.UUCP> <2634@reed.UUCP> <4620@mhuxd.UUCP> <2669@reed.UUCP> Distribution: na Organization: Bell Communications Research, Inc Lines: 33 > problem of what to do together. That is, he and I have totally different > interests. He likes hiking and backpacking. Reading Cooper or Thoreau is > as close as I ever want to get to the "Great Outdoors". ...... ...... > I guess the point to all this is to ask whether anyone else has had > this problem, and how you dealt with it. And if anyone has any other > suggestions as to what we might do together, I'd sure be interested in > hearing them. Yes, this has happened to me a couple of times: i think it depends on your attitude towards "sharing interests and beliefs". For me, it would be less interesting to agree totally about our beliefs, than to have divergences. I view relationships, of whatever species, as opportunaties to learn, and i value all considered opinions. On the same idea, "activities" can be shared to a greater or lesser degree - in my last relationship, the only physical activity we both enjoyed was walking, but that left us time for some wonderful conversations, from which i learned much. Personally, i would find it difficult to maintain a relationship where neither activities nor thoughts are shared. So i guess my point is: as long as you share something intellectually, then there might not be much of a problem persuing most activities apart from the person. This might even be a good thing - i never have been much in favour of becoming too dependant on someone for anything. You might also find it makes finding new friends to do these activies with easier. If you feel a need to spend more time "doing things together", then all you can do is try to interest him in something neither of you have tried before. Crosswords, bridge, browsing antique stores, archery, badminton? I'm just tossing ideas out, probably totally inappropriate ones, but if you ask enough people... Peace, and joy.