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From: rcj@burl.UUCP (Curtis Jackson)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: actually, who pays?
Message-ID: <1138@burl.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 19-Mar-86 18:22:21 EST
Article-I.D.: burl.1138
Posted: Wed Mar 19 18:22:21 1986
Date-Received: Fri, 21-Mar-86 03:36:07 EST
References: <489@ssc-bee.UUCP> <412@utastro.UUCP>
Reply-To: rcj@burl.UUCP (Curtis Jackson)
Distribution: na
Organization: AT&T Technologies, Burlington NC
Lines: 44
Summary: 

In article <591@hoptoad.uucp> laura@hoptoad.UUCP (Laura Creighton) writes:
>In article <1409@vax1.fluke.UUCP> tron@fluke.UUCP (Peter Barbee) writes:
>>From what both Andy and Ann have said I infer that they expect the asker
>>to be the payer.  (Note, I may have misinterpreted!)
>>
>>Why?  I've asked and been asked to do many things and unless "who pays"
>>is discussed I always assume it's Dutch.  It just seems so much easier.
>>
>
>It is easier if the askee has enough cash.  If they are broke, they are
>in the unenviable position of having to say ``I'd love to, but I can't
>because I am broke unless you pay'' all the time. For many people this
>is difficult; it is easier to say ``No'' than to admit to being broke.
>Since the asker (especially on first dates) is trying to get a YES out
>of the askee,  it is in his interest pay so that he won't end up being
>rejected because the askee is broke.  After going out to dinner becomes
>a more regular occurrance, the two of them can work out something more
>equitable if this is a problem.
>
Yes, but things can often be worked out even on the first asking.  Before
I went skiing last week, I met a lady in my favorite bar and we really
hit it off.  I mentioned going skiing, and it turns out she had just bought
a new pair of ski boots that needed breaking in.  I asked her to go with
us, and she asked me what it would cost (not winkingly, either; wipe that
smile!)  I told her that I could take care of her part of the condo, but
was pretty strapped otherwise.  Turns out she is an out-of-work teacher
who just got her real-estate license and is only working part-time as an
instructor of state exercise classes for the elderly; her face sort of fell.
I thought about it over another couple of games of pool, asked her what
kind of car she drove, and said, "OK, your car gets better gas mileage
and is better on snow and ice, so why don't we take your car -- I'll pay
for the gas for the trip, our part of the condo, and your lift tickets --
you pay for your meals and anything else."  She agreed readily (but
unfortunately couldn't make it  :-( ).  It was very refreshing to be able
to work something like that out down here in the South without the woman
automatically expecting the man to pay for everything.

Luckily she also likes to drink beer and play golf sans scorecard, so I'm
sure I'll see her again   :-)
-- 

The MAD Programmer -- 919-228-3313 (Cornet 291)
alias: Curtis Jackson	...![ ihnp4 ulysses cbosgd allegra ]!burl!rcj
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