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From: hunter@oakhill.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: What to do together
Message-ID: <661@oakhill.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 17-Mar-86 18:51:37 EST
Article-I.D.: oakhill.661
Posted: Mon Mar 17 18:51:37 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 22-Mar-86 07:55:52 EST
References: <489@ssc-bee.UUCP> <412@utastro.UUCP>
Reply-To: hunter@oakhill.UUCP (Hunter Scales)
Distribution: na
Organization: Motorola Inc. Austin, Tx
Lines: 50

In article <2768@reed.UUCP> purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva) writes:
(In answer to my question:
>>I share more interests.  An honest question:  why are you dating this
>>person?
>
>	The only answer I can give you is that love makes a person do
>strange things. In a letter I recently wrote to a good friend of mine in
>China I more or less pondered the same question. That is, this friend
>and I have a great deal in common (we both love the same type of music,
>literature, and we both love to travel and well as many other things)
>and I don't find him to be particularly unattractive. He's also very
>intelligent, witty, etc. And he's not gay or married. And yet... it's
>not the same as what I feel when I'm with my beau. I can't explain it,
>and don't want to even try. But I guess that being in love is the only
>answer that I can give you.
>
>	Share and enjoy -
>
>		elizabeth g. purtell
>
>		(Lady Godiva)

	I have been in that happy position, myself;  still I wonder:
why are you in love with him?  In fact why do we "fall in love"?
Here I'm speaking of cathexis or limmerance, not the "real thing".
A few reasons come immediately to mind:

	1) need --- some people need to be in love.  The excitement,
the wonderful/awful feelings that possess us for a time can be
very distracting and haven't we all needed to be distracted at one
time or another?

	2) lust --- dont discount the animal in there.  I have found myself
in love with women with whom I was almost completely incompatible.  It
doesn't last long and usually ends acrimoniously.

	3) mutual interest --- what??? yes, unlike you, I have fallen
in love simply because I shared so much with her.  At first glance this
should blossom into something more lasting but it usually doesn't.
I think for lack of the other ingredient (sex).

	and 4) resonance --- for lack of a better term.  That wonderful
time when you and she (or he) have all of the above.

	OK, I've had my say.  What about the rest of you?
-- 
Motorola Semiconductor Inc.                Hunter Scales
Austin, Texas           {ihnp4,seismo,ctvax,gatech}!ut-sally!oakhill!hunter

(I am responsible for myself and my dog and no-one else)