Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site burl.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!lkw
From: lkw@burl.UUCP (lkw)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Skipping grades -> Undersociali
Message-ID: <1155@burl.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 24-Mar-86 09:54:00 EST
Article-I.D.: burl.1155
Posted: Mon Mar 24 09:54:00 1986
Date-Received: Tue, 25-Mar-86 04:45:26 EST
References: <1130@burl.UUCP> <26600174@uiucdcs> <2849@reed.UUCP> <1840@decwrl.DEC.COM>
Reply-To: lkw@burl.UUCP (lkw)
Distribution: na
Organization: AT&T Technologies, Burlington NC
Lines: 58
Keywords: Social problems

In article <1840@decwrl.DEC.COM> larrabee@decwrl.UUCP (Tracy Larrabee) writes:
>
>I am very interested in the perception that "smart" kids end up being 
>asocial. 
>
>....  One of the things the article said was that the unpopular
>children seemed just as intellectually aware of the mechanics of 
>children's society and politics, but they seemed incapable of applying 
>them correctly in actual situations.  
>
I think you may have hit upon something really smart here!
Do you think that this is true for the socially inept adults as well as 
children?   I used to be socially inept.  Well, not really,  I knew 
how to socialize and knew the mechanics as you say,
sometimes I just chose not to socialize because the people
in question were not interesting to me.  But a big part of my
problem was that I did not understand WHY in the H--- people wasted
so much time on stupid triviallities.  Why people socialized.  What
purpose it served.  I often thought, WHY BOTHER?, while at the same
time I was wondering why people didn't like me.  It was all so
illogical.  

>I have been dealing with mostly scientific folk most of my life, and I
>think there are a couple of reasons that such people have a tendency to
>blame their social ineptitude on their IQs.  ...
>I mean to say that the sciences pre-select for social incompetence.

Good point.  Maybe the social incompetents (that's really
too harsh of a term) are attracted to the social role of "scientist"
because they think that the scientific community will be more
logically minded about liking them etc. 
Well, I am not a scientist, and don't have all that high of an IQ,
but I think I went through what some of these people are going
through.  The problem is not totally specific to high IQs.  

>Intelligence can be used to solve problems that are not stated on paper. 
>...  I have known seveal social bumpkins who just
>needed to stop worrying and being so self-conscious: sometimes we all need
>to be gentler with ourselves.
>

Yes, you're right.  The problem can be solved with applied
intelligence.  However, it's not as simple as it sounds.  When
you're on the other side of the thing, its like looking into a warm
room from the outside where its cold.  There is a great gulf that has to 
be spanned between understanding and not understanding human nature.  
There is a great deal of learning involved in mastering the techniques 
of making people like you even though you are smarter and more competent 
than they are.  It is not easy to learn by trial and error.  I was
fortunate enough to have a good teacher.  I'm still no social
butterfly, and have to keep practicing all the time.  


 Laura Watson      ...![ihnp4 ulysses cbosgd allegra]!burl!lkw
 
Advice is like kissing:  it costs nothing and is a pleasant thing
to do.