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From: suhre@trwrba.UUCP (Maurice E. Suhre)
Newsgroups: net.suicide,net.college
Subject: Re: info on depression, and helping a friend (query)
Message-ID: <1900@trwrba.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 7-Mar-86 12:31:52 EST
Article-I.D.: trwrba.1900
Posted: Fri Mar  7 12:31:52 1986
Date-Received: Sun, 9-Mar-86 00:29:41 EST
References: <120@phoenix.UUCP> <681@frog.UUCP>
Reply-To: suhre@trwrba.UUCP (Maurice E. Suhre)
Organization: TRW EDS, Redondo Beach, CA
Lines: 29
Xref: watmath net.suicide:873 net.college:1203

In article <681@frog.UUCP> wjr@frog.UUCP (STella Calvert) writes:
>If you're used to school not being a challenge, it
>really boggles you the first time you hit something that makes you
>work for a change.  
This really hit home for me.  I was fumbling around trying to study
for my prelims and not getting anywhere.  I had, without realizing it,
been getting more and more depressed over my mother's death.  Also, I
was used to having school be easy and to be "spoon fed" via the lectures.
Now that I had to do it on my own, I was in trouble.  Aggravating all
this was my perfectionism which told me that I should know everything
about everything for the prelims.   There was also some sexual
dysfunction that I had stuck on the back shelf.  But I won't go
into that here.....  Believe me, I was screwed up.

The way out was to start therapy.  I probably had a notion that I would
need therapy some day, and a friend in the National Guard named Charlie
sort of talked me into it.  'Twas very helpful.  My first reaction was
to brighten up because I thought/hoped that Mrs. Roosa was going to
"fix" me.  Then I sank back a little because I realized that I was
going to have to do the *work*.  (What an awful word :-)  I did 3
years with her, and managed to pass the prelims, complete a dissertation,
have one rather screwed up relationship.  I wasn't able to really get
straightened out with women in that time frame.

BTW, suicide had never been on my mind.

Maurice

{decvax,sdcrdcf,ihnp4,ucbvax}!trwrb!suhre