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From: khill@ti-csl
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Re: Orphaned Response
Message-ID: <6400021@ti-csl>
Date: Sun, 23-Mar-86 17:53:00 EST
Article-I.D.: ti-csl.6400021
Posted: Sun Mar 23 17:53:00 1986
Date-Received: Thu, 27-Mar-86 07:03:49 EST
References: <64@zeus.UUCP>
Lines: 48
Nf-ID: #R:zeus.UUCP:64:ti-csl:6400021:000:2105
Nf-From: ti-csl!khill    Mar 23 16:53:00 1986


/* Written  7:00 pm  Mar 17, 1986 by bobr@zeus.UUCP in ti-csl:net.jokes */
/* ---------- "In honor of the day" ---------- */
To be sure, the old parish priest, Father O'Rafferty, knew the attention
span of his parishioners.  Not a man to be takin' kindly to any
sombnabulatin' through his sermon, he always managed to start with a jolt.
And don't ya remember the time he began by sayin', "I am not ashamed to
admit that I've spent many a night takin' a most pleasant comfort in the
arms of another man's wife!" says he.

...

"I want you all to know that I've spent many a night takin' my ease in the
arms of another man's wife . . . but for the life of me, I can't remember
her name!"
/* End of text from ti-csl:net.jokes */

One of Father McCarty's intellectual equals at his first mass was so afraid
that he could hardly speak.  Before his second week at the pulpit, he
asked the Monsignor how he could relax.  The Monsignor said, "Next week,
put martinis in the water pitcher, and after a few sips everything should
go smoothly."

The next week, the young priest put the Elder's suggestion into practice
and really preached up a storm.  After the sermon, the Monsignor said,
"There are a few things you should know before you preach again...

	1. Sip, rather than gulp.
	2. There are ten Commandments, not Twelve.
	3. There are twelve Disciples, not Ten.
	4. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
	5. We do not refer to our Savior Jesus Christ and his Disciples
	   as 'J.C. and the boys.'
	6. Next week there is a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's -
	   not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
	7. We do not refer to the Cross as the 'big T'
	8. The Father, Son and Holy Ghost are not refered to as 'big daddy,
	   Junior and the spook.'
	9. And last, but not least, it is 'The Virgin Mary' and not 'the Mary
	   with the cherry.'"

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Ken Hill
USENET : {convex!smu,texsun,ut-sally}!ti-csl!khill
CSNET : khill@TI-CSL
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Any opinions expressed herein are merely coincidental.