Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.3 alpha 4/15/85; site geops.geops.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!tektronix!uw-beaver!uw-june!geops!charles From: charles@geops.UUCP (Bad Charles) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Offensive Jokes, Part 9, rot13 Message-ID: <231@geops.geops.UUCP> Date: Tue, 18-Mar-86 11:26:54 EST Article-I.D.: geops.231 Posted: Tue Mar 18 11:26:54 1986 Date-Received: Sun, 30-Mar-86 06:30:31 EST Organization: Geophysics, U of W, Seattle Lines: 809 Gur Ybar Enatre unf orra xvqanccrq ol n ohapu bs irel anfgl Vaqvnaf, naq nf n ynfg erdhrfg, ur qrpvqrf ur jbhyq yvxr gb fzbxr n crnpr cvcr sbe bar ynfg gvzr. Nf ur'f fzbxvat njnl, bar bs gur vaqvnaf abgvprf gung gur Ybar Enatre vf fraqvat fzbxr fvtanyf. Bs pbhefr gurl dhvpxyl gnxr njnl gur cvcr naq gvr uvz gb gur fgnxr gb or ohearq. Nf gurl'er nobhg gb yvtug gur sver, bire gur uvyy pbzrf Gbagb jvgu gra anxrq jbzra ba ubefronpx. Gur Ybar Enatre ybbxf va nznfrzrag naq fnvf, "V fcryyrq cbffr jebat ntnva!" V unir orra urnevat erpragyl nobhg n fhccbfrq curabzrabz jurer pregnva crbcyr unir fhccbfrqyl fcbagnarbhfyl pbzohfgrq. Hfhnyyl gurve puneerq erznvaf ner sbhaq. V jbhyq nccerpvngr nal vasbezngvba gung crbcyr zvtug unir ertneqvat guvf fhccbfrq curabzrabz. Fbzrguvat va gur trargvp znxrhc bs crbcyr sebz Fjvgmreynaq znxrf gurz hahfhnyyl frafvgvir gb guvf curabzraba. Gur rssrpg vgfrys frrzf gb or pngnylmrq ol tnfrf tvira bss ol irtrgnoyrf naq sehvgf nf gurl evcra. Gung'f jul, va gur cebqhpr frpgvbaf bs fhcreznexrgf, bar bsgra frrf Fjvff puneq. D. Jul qba'g puvpxraf jrne haqrejrne? N. Orpnhfr gurve crpxref ner ba gurve snprf. Qvq lbh urne nobhg gur Yvolna jub sbhaq n cvrpr bs fnaqcncre naq gubhtug vg jnf n znc bs gur qrfreg? SENAX OHPX Senax Ohpx jnf gur terngrfg navzny genccre gung rire yvirq. Ur genccrq navznyf sbe mbbf, sbe pvephfrf, sbe fvqrfubjf, sbe nyzbfg nalguvat. Qhevat uvf ybat pnerre ur znqr dhvgr n anzr sbe uvzfrys nf gur terngrfg navzny genccre gung rire yvirq. Bar qnl, yvxr znal zra, Senax Ohpx ernpurq gur ntr bs fvkgl-svir naq qrpvqrq gb ergver. Fb, bhe ureb obhtug uvzfrys n yvggyr snez va Ybhvfivyyr, Xraghpxl naq frggyrq qbja gb yvir bhg uvf erznvavat lrnef va gur crnprshy fheebhaqvatf bs eheny Ybhvfivyyr. Abg dhvgr. Ur unq whfg frggyrq qbja naq jnf fvggvat bhg ba uvf onpx cbepu jura gur cubar enat. Vg jnf gur Fna Qvrtb Mbb. Gur mbbxrrcref fnvq gb Senax Ohpx, "Ze. Ohpx? Guvf vf gur Fna Qvrtb Mbb. Jr ernyvmr lbh'ir yrq n ybat naq ohfl yvsr, naq lbh qrfreir n crnprshy ergverzrag nf zhpu nf nal zna ba rnegu, ohg gurer'f guvf bar hahfhny navzny jr arrq, naq lbh'er gur bayl zna jr xabj gung pna trg vg sbe hf. Vg'f n ubeayrff euvabprebhf." Jryy, Senax Ohpx (orvat va ergverzrag naq nyy gung) anghenyyl nethrq n yvggyr, ohg svanyyl pbafragrq gb trg guvf ubeayrff euvabprebhf sbe gur Fna Qvrtb Mbb. Fb, gur arkg qnl ur jrag qbja gb uvf obng ba gur fuber (guvf jnf orsber gur qnlf bs nvecynarf), fnvyrq npebff pubccl frnf, naq ynaqrq va Nsevpn, jurer ur jrag n unpxva' naq n pubccva', naq n pubccva' naq n unpxva' guebhtu gur whatyrf bs Nsevpn 'gvyy ur zrg Gnemna. Abj Gnemna jnf cnvagvat fgevcrf. Ubjrire, lbh pbhyqa'g gryy jurgure gurl jrer juvgr fgevcrf ba n oynpx mroen, oynpx fgevcrf ba n juvgr mroen, be oynpx naq juvgr fgevcrf ba n pyrne mroen. Fb Senax Ohpx jrag hc gb Gnemna naq fnvq, "Gnemna, V ungr gb obgure lbh juvyr lbh'er fb ohfl, ohg gurer'f guvf bar hahfhny navzny V arrq. Jbhyq lbh unccra gb xabj gur jurernobhgf bs n ubeayrff euvabprebhf?" Abj Gnemna, orvat fb ohfl naq nyy gung, anghenyyl jnf n yvggyr hcfrg. Ohg ur chg qbja uvf oehfu, cbvagrq gb n ohfu, naq fnvq, "HTU!" Naq 'yb naq orubyq, bhg jnyxrq guvf ubeayrff euvabprebhf! Fb, Senax Ohpx pncgherq gur ubeayrff euvabprebhf, gunaxrq Gnemna (jub unq, ol guvf gvzr, tbar onpx gb cnvagvat gur mroen), naq jrag n unpxva' naq n pubccva', naq n pubccva' naq n unpxva' onpx guebhtu gur whatyrf bs Nsevpn, onpx qbja gb uvf obng ba gur fuber (guvf jnf orsber gur qnlf bs nvecynarf), fnvyrq onpx npebff pubccl frnf, naq ynaqrq va Nzrevpn. Gur arkg qnl, ur qryvirerq gur ubeayrff euvabprebhf gb gur Fna Qvrtb Mbb, naq jrag onpx vagb ergverzrag ba uvf yvggyr snez va Ybhvfivyyr, Xraghpxl. Jryy, guerr qnlf yngre Senax Ohpx jnf fvggvat bhg ba uvf onpx cbepu jura gur cubar enat. Guvf gvzr vg jnf gur Puvpntb Mbb. Gur mbbxrrcref ng gur Puvpntb Mbb fnvq, "Ze. Ohpx? Guvf vf gur Puvpntb Cntr 2 Mbb. Jr ungr gb obgure lbh, frrvat nf lbh'er va ergverzrag naq nyy gung, ohg gurer'f guvf bar hahfhny navzny jr arrq naq bayl lbh pna trg vg sbe hf. Vg'f n fubeg-arpxrq tvenssr." Jryy, Senax Ohpx (orvat va ergverzrag naq nyy gung) anghenyyl nethrq n yvggyr, ohg svanyyl pbafragrq gb trg guvf fubeg-arpxrq tvenssr sbe gur Puvpntb Mbb. Fb gur arkg qnl, ur jrag qbja gb uvf obng ba gur fuber (guvf jnf orsber gur qnlf bs nvecynarf), fnvyrq npebff pubccl frnf, naq ynaqrq va Nsevpn, jurer ur jrag n unpxva' naq n pubccva' naq n pubccva' naq n unpxva' guebhtu gur whatyrf bs Nsevpn 'gvyy ur zrg Gnemna. Abj, Gnemna jnf cnvagvat fgevcrf. Ubjrire, lbh pbhyqa'g gryy jurgure gurl jrer oynpx fgevcrf ba n juvgr mroen, juvgr fgevcrf ba n oynpx mroen, be oynpx naq juvgr fgevcrf ba n pyrne mroen. Fb, Senax Ohpx jrag hc gb Gnemna naq fnvq,"Gnemna, V ungr gb obgure lbh juvyr lbh'er fb ohfl, ohg gurer'f guvf bar hahfhny navzny V arrq. Jbhyq lbh unccra gb xabj gur jurernobhgf bs n fubeg-arpxrq tvenssr?" Abj Gnemna (orvat fb ohfl naq nyy gung) anghenyyl jnf n ovg crrirq, ohg ur chg qbja uvf oehfu, cbvagrq gb n ohfu, naq fnvq, "HTU!" Naq 'yb naq orubyq, bhg jnyxrq guvf fubeg arpxrq tvenssr! Fb Senax Ohpx pncgherq gur fubeg-arpxrq tvenssr, gunaxrq Gnemna(jub unq, ol guvf gvzr, tbar onpx gb cnvagvat fgevcrf), naq jrag n unpxva' naq n pubccva', naq n pubccva' naq n unpxva' onpx guebhtu gur whatyrf bs Nsevpn, qbja gb uvf obng ba gur fuber (guvf jnf orsber gur qnlf bs nvecynarf), fnvyrq npebff pubccl frnf, naq ynaqrq va Nzrevpn. Gur arkg qnl, ur qryvirerq gur fubeg-arpxrq tvenssr gb gur Puvpntb Mbb naq jrag onpx gb ergverzrag ba uvf yvggyr snez va Ybhvfivyyr, Xraghpxl. Jryy, guerr qnlf yngre, ur jnf fvggvat bhg ba gur onpx cbepu jura gur cubar enat. Guvf gvzr vg jnf gur Fzvgufbavna Mbb. Gur mbbxrrcref fnvq,"Ze. Ohpx, jr ernyvmr lbh'er va ergverzrag naq nyy gung, ohg gurer'f guvf bar hahfhny navzny jr arrq, naq bayl lbh pna trg vg sbe hf. Vg'f n gehaxyrff ryrcunag." Jryy, Senax Ohpx (orvat va ergverzrag naq nyy gung) anghenyyl nethrq n yvggyr, ohg svanyyl ur pbafragrq gb trg guvf gehaxyrff ryrcunag sbe gur Fzvgufbavna Mbb. Fb gur arkg qnl, ur jrag qbja gb uvf obng ba gur fuber (Guvf jnf orsber gur qnlf bs nvecynarf), fnvyrq npebff pubccl frnf, naq jrag n unpxva' naq n pubccva', naq n pubccva' naq n unpxva' guebhtu gur whatyrf bs Nsevpn 'gvyy ur zrg Gnemna. Abj Gnemna jnf cnvagvat fgevcrf. Ubjrire, lbh pbhyqa'g gryy vs gurl jrer oynpx fgevcrf ba n juvgr mroen, be juvgr fgevcrf ba n oynpx mroen, be oynpx naq juvgr fgevcrf ba n pyrne mroen. Fb Senax Ohpx jrag hc gb Gnemna naq fnvq,"Gnemna, V ungr gb obgure lbh juvyr lbh'er fb ohfl, ohg gurer'f guvf bar hahfhny navzny V arrq. Jbhyq lbh unccra gb xabj gur jurernobhgf bs n gehaxyrff ryrcunag?" Abj Gnemna, gbgnyyl crrirq, oebxr uvf oehfu bire uvf xarr, guerj gur oehfu vagb gur ohfurf, cbvagrq gb n ohfu naq ubyyrerq,"HTU!" Naq, 'yb naq orubyq, bhg jnyxrq guvf gehaxyrff ryrcunag! Cntr 3 Fb Senax Ohpx pncgherq gur gehaxyrff ryrcunag, gunaxrq Gnemna (jub unq ol guvf gvzr cvpxrq hc n puvczhax naq jnf cnvagvat jvgu vgf gnvy), jrag n unpxva' naq n pubccva', naq n pubccva' naq n unpxva' onpx guebhtu gur whatyrf bs Nsevpn qbja gb uvf obng ba gur fuber(guvf jnf orsber gur qnlf bs nvecynarf), fnvyrq npebff pubccl frnf, naq ynaqrq va Nzrevpn. Gur arkg qnl, ur qryvirerq gur gehaxyrff ryrcunag gb gur Fzvgufbavna Mbb, naq jrag onpx vagb ergverzrag ba uvf yvggyr snez va Ybhvfivyyr, Xraghpxl. Guerr qnlf yngre, ur jnf fvggvat ba uvf onpx cbepu jura gur cubar enat. Ubjrire, guvf gvzr vg jnf n jebat ahzore. Fb gur arkg qnl, Senax Ohpx unq uvf cubar qvfpbaarpgrq naq yvirq unccvyl rire nsgre. ZBENY: GNEMNA FGEVCRF SBERIRE Fnl, qvq lbh urne gung gur Punyyratre nfgebanhgf jrer ba gur enqvb? ... naq ba gur pbafbyr naq ba gur urng gvyrf naq ba cvrprf bs gur jvatf naq ba .... Qvq lbh urne gung Wreel Yrr Yrjvf unf orra pubfra ol ANFN gb or gur svefg zhfvpvna va fcnpr? Gurl jnag uvz gb fvat "... tbbqarff, tenpvbhf, terng onyyf bs sver!" Qvq lbh nyfb urne gung ANFN vf nonaqbavat gur Grnpure va Fcnpr cebtenz. Jryy, gurl qvqa'g fnl gurl jrer nonaqbavat gur cebtenz. Jung gurl fnvq jnf gung gurl qvqa'g vagraq ba fraqvat n frpbaq grnpure vagb fcnpr nf ybat nf gur svefg bar vf fgvyy va beovg. ANFN nyfb unf frevbhf vagragvbaf bs znxvat hc gur arkg fuhggyr perj ragveryl bs guveq jbeyq nfgebanhgf. Vg frrzf gung gurl jnag crefbaary zber npphfgbzrq gb fhqqra cbchyngvba rkcybfvba. Vs lbh guvax V unir ab urneg, lbh'er jebat. Fbzr bs zl orfg sevraqf ner cynfgrerq uvtu fpubby fpvrapr grnpuref. D: Jung'f oynpx naq juvgr naq sbhaq nyy bire?? N: Gur fcnpr fuhggyr Pbyhzovn. D: Jung qb lbh pnyy n juvgr thl jvgu n oynpx thl? N: Ynjlre. D: Jung qb lbh pnyy n juvgr thl jvgu gjb oynpx thlf? N: Ivpgvz. D: Jung qb lbh pnyy n juvgr thl jvgu svir oynpx thlf? N: Pbnpu. D: Jung qb lbh pnyy n juvgr thl jvgu avar oynpx thlf? N: Cyngbba Yrnqre. D: Jung qb lbh pnyy n juvgr thl jvgu 250 oynpx thlf? N: Jneqra. Qvq lbh urne gung Ohpxjurng orpnzr n Zhfyvz? Ur'f abj pnyyrq Xnerrz N'Jurng. Guvf thl tbrf vagb n one, naq cebqhprf n zvqtrg sebz uvf cbpxrg. Gur yvggyr thl cebzcgyl fgnegf envfvat n ehpxhf, jnyxvat nyy bire gur onegbc naq unenffvat gur phfgbzref, cvffvat va gurve qevaxf, yrrevat ng gur srznyr phfgbzref, naq whfg trarenyyl orvat n erny cnva va gur n**. Gur onegraqre fnlf: "Thl, lbh'er tbaan unir gb yrnir. Ohg svefg, gryy zr: jurer qvq lbh trg gur yvggyr thl...?" Gur thl rkcynvaf "naq gur yrcerpunha jnf fb tengrshy gung ur fnvq ur'q tenag zr bar jvfu." "Fb jung'q lbh jvfu sbe?" "N gjryir-vapu cevpx." D: Jung jrer gur ynfg jbeqf bs gur perj bs Punyyratre? N: Ab, OHQ Yvtug. D: Jung qb lbh pnyy gur svefg grnpure va fcnpr? N: Uvfgbel. D. Jung'f gur qvssrerapr orgjrra gur fuhggyr Punyyratre naq Qbyyl Cnegba? N. Vg'f Obbz be Ohfg! D. Jung jrer gur ynfg jbeqf bs gur svefg grnpure va fcnpr? N. V jbaqre jung guvf ohggba qbrf? D. Jung qbrf ANFN fgnaq sbe? N. Arrq Nabgure Frira Nfgebanhgf. D. Jung tbrf "pyvpx-pyvpx qvq-v-trg-vg-lrg? pyvpx-pyvpx qvq-v-trg-vg-lrg? pyvpx-pyvpx qvq-v-trg-vg-lrg? pyvpx-pyvpx qvq-v-trg-vg-lrg? pyvpx-pyvpx qvq-v-trg-vg-lrg?" N. Fgrivr Jbaqre gelvat gb fbyir Ehovpx'f Phor. Jura Fbhgu Ivrganz jnf arnevat vgf raq, naq Trareny Zvau jnf va punetr, n cbchyne negvfg pnzr gb uvz naq nfxrq gb znxr n fgnghr va uvf ubabe (ng tbireazrag rkcrafr). "Cyrnfr, Trareny Zvau, lbh ner gur crbcyr'f ureb," ur gbyq uvz. "Lrf, ohg znxr gur fphycgher va oebamr," ercyvrq gur trareny. Fb gur negvfg znqr gur fphycgher, ohg jura vg jnf hairvyrq va n fznyy cevingr prerzbal, gur trareny jnf shevbhf. Sbe gur fphycgher jnf znqr va tbyq. "V jnag oebamr," ur fnvq, "V jnag oebamr!" Gur negvfg jrag njnl va n uheel, qrrcyl vzcerffrq jvgu guvf fubj bs uhzvyvgl. Ohg ur fgvyy jnagrq gb ubabe gur trareny, fb ur znqr gur arkg fphycgher va fvyire. Ohg ntnva gur trareny jnf shevbhf. "V jnag oebamr," ur fnvq, "V jnag oebamr!" Guvf gvzr gur negvfg znqr gur fphycgher bhg bs oebamr nf nfxrq. Jura gur fphycgher jnf erirnyrq gb gur trareny, ur jnf birewblrq ng gur jbaqreshy oebamr yvxrarff. Gur negvfg gura pbzcyvzragrq gur trareny ba uvf qrrc uhzvyvgl. Guvf abgvba pbashfrq uvz irel zhpu. "Ohg jul qvq lbh jnag fphycgher znqr bs oebamr?" "Jul? V'yy gryy lbh jul," fnvq gur trareny. "Orpnhfr Trareny Zvau cersre oebamr!" Sevne Ynherapr gbyq Ebzrb gung Whyvrg jnf trggvat irel qehax rirel avtug naq fhssrevat znffvir unatbiref rirel zbeavat. Ebzrb syrj gb uvf orybirq. Vg jnf gehr: fur jnf na bqq funqr bs cnyr terra naq unq oybbqfubg rlrf. Ng svefg fur jbhyqa'g nqzvg jul fur qenax, ohg ng ynfg fur pbasrffrq gung gubhtu fur ybirq uvz, fur pbhyqa'g fgnaq uvf synghyrapr. Ebzrb rkcynvarq gung vg jnf qhr gb n qvfgnag eryngvir, na Ratyvfujbzna jub unq rnearq gur tengvghqr bs ure Xvat naq orra znqr Qnzr Pbzznaqre bs gur Oevgvfu Rzcver [nanpuebavfz urer, ohg gurer'f jbefr gb pbzr], ohg jnf abj vzcbirevfurq. Ure Vgnyvna eryngvirf, bhg bs flzcngul, unq znqr ure gurve pbbx, naq fur jnf srrqvat gurz urnegl Ratyvfu sner juvpu qvfnterrq jvgu Ebzrb'f frafvgvir objryf. Ebzrb xrcg rngvat ure sbbq orpnhfr ur unqa'g gur urneg gb gryy ure. Ohg Sevne Ynherapr, fnvq Ebzrb, unq n fbyhgvba: va gur Irebarfr pngnpbzof gurer jnf n fuevar jvgu eryvpf bs na bofpher fnvag. N avtug bs cenlvat gurer, sbyybjrq ol n ibj gung ur jbhyq pbageby uvf fcuvapgref, jbhyq pher uvz. Whyvrg jnf fb birewblrq gung ure arkg fcrrpu qvqa'g dhvgr fpna cebcreyl: WHYVRG: B Ebzrb, Ebzrb, gurersber snegrfg gubh, Ebzrb! Qral gul sbqqre naq ershfr gul Qnzr. Be vs gubh jvyg abg, or ohgg-fjbea, zl ybir, Naq V'yy ab ybatre or fb penchybhf. Na rkcybere jnf geniryyvat guebhtu gur whatyr jura ur unccrarq gb jnyx vagb fbzr dhvpxfnaq. Bhe ureb unf abj fhax qbja gb uvf xarrf, jura n srj zbzragf yngre, nabgure rkcybere cnffrf ol. "Fnl, ohqql, pna lbh trg zr bhg bs urer?". Gur bgure rkcybere ercyvrf, "Bayl vs lbh tvir zr n oybj wbo!". "Jung?!! Sbetrg vg." "BX, gura.", naq gur thl tbrf uvf bja jnl. Abj bhe ureb qbja gb uvf jnfg, jura, ol punapr, nabgure rkcybere jnyxf ol. "Uryc zr bhg, jvyy lbh?" "Bayl vs lbh tvir zr n oybj wbo!" "Ab jnl! Trg ybfg!" "BX.", naq guvf thl yrnirf nf jryy. Abj bhe ureb vf hc gb uvf arpx va gur dhvpxfnaq, jura n guveq rkcyberf nccebnpurf gur fprar. "Fnl, vs lbh uryc zr bhg, V'yy tvir lbh n oybj wbo!" "Jung??! Snttbg!", naq gur guveq rkcybere fgbzcf bhe ureb'f urnq vagb gur dhvpxfnaq! D: Ubj pna lbh gryy jura n inyragvar vf sebz n yrcre? N: Gur gbathr vf va gur rairybcr. D: Jung qb lbh pnyy n jbzra jub pna fhpx n tbys onyy guebhtu 50 srrg bs tneqra ubfr? N: Qneyvat! N srj jrrxf nsgre uvf cneragf' qvibepr, yvggyr Wbuaal jnf jnyxvat cnfg uvf zbgure'f orqebbz. Ur fnj ure ylvat ba gur orq anxrq ehoovat urefrys naq zbnavat "V arrq n zna, V arrq n zna". N srj qnlf yngre, Wbuaal bapr ntnva fnj uvf zbgure ercrngvat gur fnzr rcvfbqr. N srj qnlf yngre, Wbuaal jnf jnyxvat cnfg uvf zbgure'f ebbz naq bapr ntnva ur urneq ure zbnavat ohg, guvf gvzr jura ur ybbxrq va ure orqebbz gurer jnf n zna ba gbc bs ure. Wbuaal dhvpxyl ena vagb uvf ebbz, gbbx bss uvf pybgurf, whzcrq ba uvf orq, ortna gb eho uvzfrys naq zbna "V arrq n ovxr, V arrq n ovxr"! D: Jung qvq Puevfgn ZpNhyvssr yrnir gb ure fghqragf va ure jvyy? N: N cvpgher bs urefrys, oybja hc. N Serapuzna jnf jnyxvat npebff n oevqtr jura ur ybbxrq qbja naq fnj n ahqr jbzna ylvat ba gur evire onax. Ur jrag qbja gb gur jbzna, crryrq bss uvf pybgurf naq ortna gb unir frk jvgu ure. N cbyvprzna fnj jung jnf tbvat ba, ena qbja gb gur evire onax naq chyyrq gur Serapuzna bss gur jbzna, fnlvat, "Jung ner lbh qbvat? Guvf jbzna vf qrnq!" Jurerhcba gur Serapuzna fnvq, "V'z fbeel ... V gubhtug fur jnf Nzrevpna." D. Jung qb Jnyehfrf naq ANFN unir va pbzzba? N. Gurl'er obgu ybbxvat sbe n gvtug frny. Ze. Cerfvqrag - V unir tbbq arjf naq onq arjf Jung'f gur onq arjf? Gur Fuhggyr rkcybqrq. Jung pbhyq cbffvoyl or gur tbbq arjf? Fgne Jnef jbexf. D. Jung fvgf ng gur obggbz bs gur bprna naq gjvgpurf? N. N areibhf jerpx. N snezre jnf fubjvat uvf pvgl pbhfva nebhaq uvf snez jura gurl fnl n guerr-yrttrq cvt ubooyvat nebhaq gur onealneq. "Jung'f gung?", nfxrq gur pbhfva. "Jul," ercyvrq gur snezre, "gung'f gur zbfg inyhnoyr cvt va gur jbeyq. Vg'f fnirq zl yvsr gjvpr. Bapr gur ubhfr pnhtug sver juvyr V jnf fyrrcvat, naq gung cvt penfurq guebhtu gur xvgpura qbbe naq onatrq ba zl orqebbz qbbe hagvy V jbxr hc. Nabgure gvzr zl genpgbe bireghearq juvyr V jnf cybjvat gur svryq, naq gung cvt ena bhg naq qenttrq zr sebz orarngu vg." "Zneirybhf," ercyvrq gur pbhfva, "ohg jul qbrf gur cvt unir bayl guerr yrtf?" "Jvgu n cvt gung inyhnoyr," ercyvrq gur snezre, "lbh qba'g jnag gb rng vg nyy ng bapr." Guerr oveqf, n fcneebj, n ynex, naq n oyhrwnl sbhaq gung gurl jrer serdhragyl uhatel, naq nterrq gb sbez n pbbcrengvir gb cebivqr sbbq sbe gurzfryirf ba n pbafvfgnag onfvf. N ibgr erirnyrq gung gurl nyy jnagrq gb rng oernq. Fb jvgu fbzr rssbeg, gurl jrag bhg naq tngurerq gur tenva, naq jngre gb znxr gur oernq, ohg gurl arrqrq lrnfg. Nsgre n ybat frnepu (gur fgbel bs juvpu V jvyy fcner lbh sebz, nf yvsr vf fubeg) gurl unccrarq hcba n fbheqbhtu ebyy. Gurl frpergrq gur ebyy gb n cevingr cynpr naq pbirerq vg jvgu n pybgu gb yrg vg evfr bire avtug. Rnpu bs gurz jnf gb fgnaq thneq qhgl sbe n cneg bs gur avtug. Ohg jura gur fha ebfr, vg jnf tbar. Fvapr gurer unq orra n jngpu nyy avtug, gurl nyy pbapyhqrq gung bar bs gur guerr bs gurz zhfg or gur phycevg. Guvf pnhfrq zhpu dhrfgvbavat naq qravny hagvy gur fcneebj abgvprq gung gur ynex jnf znxvat serdhrag fubeg syvtugf, uvtu vagb gur fxl. Fcneebj sbyybjrq gur Ynex ba bar bs gurfr syvtugf, naq ng gur crnx abgvprq na npevq bqbe va gur nve. Fb ur npphfrq gur Ynex fnlvat... "Ynex, jung urvtug gubh jvaq qbgu oernx? Sbe vg vf gur Lrnfg, naq'lbh unir rg gur oha." N zna jvgu n tynff rlr jnf trggvat ernql sbe n qnapr jura ur gevccrq bire n onqyl cynprq unffbpx. Cerqvpgnoyl uvf snyfr rlr pbzrf sylvat bhg naq funggref ntnvafg gur sybbe. Guvf jnfa'g nobhg gb fgbc uvz, gubhtu. Ur jnezf hc uvf yngur naq znxrf n ercynprzrag rlr sebz jbbq. "V'yy whfg fgnl va gur funqbjf, naq abobql jvyy abgvpr," guvaxf ur. Fb ur tbrf gb gur qnapr naq whfg cebjyf nebhaq va gur onpx. Nf ur'f fvggvat va n qnex pbeare fvccvat uvf qevax, ur pna qvzyl znxr bhg n jbzna jvgu n tehrfbzr uneryvc ng gur arkg gnoyr. "Jryy," fnlf ur gb uvzfrys, "znlor V'yy nfx ure gb qnapr. Jr'yy whfg fgnl va gur qnex urer naq ab bar jvyy abgvpr." Ur tbrf hc gb ure naq nfxf ure vs fur'q pner gb qnapr. Fur whzcf hc, fzvyvat, naq rkpynvzf 'Jbhyq V? Jbhyq V!' "Uneryvc! Uneryvc!" fubhgf gur zna nf ur ehaf bss gur sybbe. Sybevqn jrngure ercbeg: Cnegyl pybhql, jvgu fpnggrerq fuhggyrf. Nsgre rknzvavat uvf cngvrag, gur hebybtvfg fnlf, "V'ir tbg fbzr tbbq arjf naq fbzr onq arjf." "Gur tbbq arjf vf gung lbhe cravf unf tebja 2 vapurf fvapr ynfg lrne." "Gur onq arjf vf gung vg'f znyvtanag." N zna beqref n qevax ng n one naq nfxf gur onegraqre vs ur'q yvxr gb urne n tbbq Cbyvfu wbxr. Gur onegraqre fnlf, "V'z fvk sbbg fvk naq jrvtu 280 cbhaqf, naq V'z n Cbyvfu-Nzrevpna. Gubfr gjb ergverq obkref fvggvat ng gur one ner Cbyvfu-Nzrevpnaf. Gur gjb xnengr vafgehpgbef fvggvat va gur pbeare bire gurer ner Cbyvfu-Nzrevpnaf. Ner lbh fher lbh jnag gb gryy n Cbyvfu wbxr?" Gur zna ercyvrf,"Ab, abg vs V unir gb rkcynva gur qnza guvat svir gvzrf." Erntna, Tbeorpuri, naq Znepbf ner sylvat va n cynar jura gur ratvarf dhvg. Gurer vf bayl bar cnenpuhgr. Erntna fnlf, "Fvapr V'z gur yrnqre bs gur evpurfg pbhagel va gur jbeyq, V'yy gnxr gur cnenpuhgr." Tbeorpuri fnlf, "Fvapr V'z gur yrnqre bs gur zbfg cbjreshy pbhagel va gur jbeyq, V'yy gnxr gur cnenpuhgr." Znepbf fnlf, "Yrg'f gnxr n ibgr." Znepbf jvaf, 14 - 2. N thl jnyxf vagb n juberubhfr naq fnlf, "V'z gverq bs abezny fperjvat - V jnag gb qb fbzrguvat XVAXL!" Gur znqnz ercyvrf, "BX, tb gb ebbz 4O". Ur ragref gur ebbz naq frrf abguvat ohg n cebfgvghgr ylvat ba gur orq, naq fnlf, "Vf guvf jurer V pna qb fbzrguvat xvaxl?" Gur cebfgvghgr erzbirf ure tynff rlr, cbvagf gb gur fbpxrg, naq fnlf, "Tb gb vg." Gur thl uhzcf njnl ng ure rlr fbpxrg, naq unf gur zbfg vagrafr betnfz bs uvf yvsr. Vzcerffrq, ur fnlf, "Gung jnf snagnfgvp! V'yy or onpx guvf jnl arkg jrrx - pna jr qb guvf ntnva???" Fur ercyvrf, "Fher. V'yy xrrc na rlr bhg sbe lbh!" Urne gur jrngure va Sybevqn? Pybhql, jvgu jvqryl fpnggrerq fuhggyrf. Puevfgn'f fba jnf ernyyl hcfrg qhevat gur yvsgbss Ohg vg jnf uvf zbz gung jrag gb cvrprf. Jung jnf gur ynfg guvat gb tb guebhtu Puevfgn'f zvaq? N urng gvyr. N oynpx naq juvgr thl ner jbexvat va gur onpx bs gur cbfg bssvpr, unaq fbegvat znvy gung unf ab mvc pbqrf vagb gur nccebcevngr ovaf. Gur oynpx thl vf n ernyyl uvc naq shaxl qhqr, naq juvyr vg'f uvf svefg qnl ba gur wbo, ur vf ernyyl trggvat vagb vg, cbccvat va yrggref oruvaq uvf onpx, orgjrra uvf yrtf naq bire uvf urnq. (Guvf wbxr vf irel rssrpgvir vs lbh qb fbzr oernxqnapvat urer juvyr gryyvat vg.) Gur juvgr thl jub vf zber lbhe glcvpny pvivy freinag (n ergneqrq fybj-zbivat mbzovr, va bgure jbeqf), fgnegf gb gnxr abgvpr bs uvf pbjbexre'f nagvpf naq jvyq qnapvat nobhg, naq ur qrpvqrf gung uvf fhcreivfbe bhtug gb pngpu guvf thl'f npg. Jryy, gur fhcreivfbe pbzrf bire naq fgnaqf gurer jngpuvat gur thl sbe njuvyr naq svanyyl fnlf, "Jbj, lbh'er qbvat n terng wbo gurer, ohqql, naq V pna'g oryvrir ubj snfg lbh'er fbegvat gubfr yrggref!" Gur thl pbagvahrf gb tlengr naq fnvy gur yrggref vagb gur qvssrerag ovaf nf ur fnlf, "Lbh guvax guvf vf tbbq? Whfg jnvg gvyy V yrnea ubj gb ernq!" D. Jung qb lbh pnyy n obbzrenat gung qbrfa'g pbzr onpx? N. N fgvpx. D. Jul vf Crcfv gur bssvpvny fbsg qevax bs ANFN? N. Gurl pbhyqa'g trg Frira-Hc. Sebz frjrypu@jngqentba.HHPC (Fgrcura R. Jrypu) Zba Sro 17 09:29:42 1986 Erynl-Irefvba: irefvba O 2.10.3 nycun 4/15/85; fvgr trbcf.trbcf.HHPC Cbfgvat-Irefvba: irefvba O 2.10.2 9/18/84; fvgr jngqentba.HHPC Cngu: trbcf!hj-whar!hj-ornire!grxgebavk!ucynof!crfagn!clenzvq!qrpjey!qrpink!oryypber!hylffrf!ohey!pylqr!jngzngu!jngabg!jngqentba!frjrypu Sebz: frjrypu@jngqentba.HHPC (Fgrcura R. Jrypu) Arjftebhcf: arg.wbxrf Fhowrpg: Bklzbebaf (pnabavpny yvfg) Zrffntr-VQ: <393@jngqentba.HHPC> Qngr: 17 Sro 86 17:29:42 TZG Qngr-Erprvirq: 21 Sro 86 20:52:40 TZG Qvfgevohgvba: arg Betnavmngvba: H bs Jngreybb, Bagnevb Yvarf: 62 Pnabavpny Yvfg bs bklzbebaf =========================== Nqinaprq ONFVP Nveyvar sbbq Nzrevpna phygher Nguyrgvp fpubynefuvc Oynpx Yvtug Oenir cbyvgvpvna Ohfvarff rguvpf Prageny Vagryyvtrapr (Ntrapl) Purreshy crffvzvfg Puvyv Pbzzhavfg cnegl (sha gvzr!) Pbecbengr cynaavat Pbireg H.F. bcrengvbaf va Prageny Nzrevpn Perngvbavfg Fpvrapr Qrsvavgr znlor Snyybhg Furygre Tbbq Gryrivfvba (Fubjf) Uvtu Fpubby Rqhpngvba Ubarfg pebbx Ubarfg cbyvgvpvna Ubhfr Rguvpf Pbzzvggrr Vaabprag jbzra Whzob fuevzc Whfgvpr Ohetre Whfgvpr flfgrz Yvoregnevna Betnavmngvba Yvoregl Srqrengvba Yvzvgrq Ahpyrne Jne Ybtvpny Gubhtug Ybat-Vfynaq Rkcerffjnl Znantrzrag Fpvrapr Zvyvgnel vagryyvtrapr Zbeny Znwbevgl Arire trarenyvmr!! Arj Qrzbpengvp Cnegl Aba-Nypbubyvp Orre Cynfgvp tynffrf? Cbfgny freivpr Cenpgvpny ybtvp Cerfvqrag Erntna Cebterffvir Pbafreingvir Encvq genafvg Erfvqrag Ivfvgbe (sebz pbafhygnag gb n pbzcnal jub jbexf ba cerzvfrf) Fnzr qvssrerapr Fbpvny Frphevgl Fghqrag Nguyrgr Fhcre Objy (KK = Lnja) Fjrrg fbeebj Greevoyl cyrnfrq Havba pensgfzna Havgrq Angvbaf Jvfr sbby ============================================================================= Vs lbh unir nal nqqvgvbaf gb guvf yvfg CYRNFR QB ABG CBFG GURZ GB GUVF ARJFTEBHC CYRNFR ZNVY GURZ GB "frjrypu@jngqentba@jngzngu". Jul Uhzbe vf Shaal Ol Qnir Oneel Nf n cebsrffvbany uhzbevfg, V bsgra trg yrggref sebz ernqref jub ner vagrerfgrq va gur onfvp angher bs uhzbe. "Jung xvaq bs n fvpx creiregrq qvfthfgvat crefba ner lbh," gurfr yrggref glcvpnyyl nfx, "gung lbh znxr wbxrf nobhg frggvat sver gb n tbng?" Naq gung, bs pbhefr, vf gur jbaqreshy guvat nobhg uhzbe. Jung znl frrz qrcerffvat be rira gentvp gb bar crefba znl frrz yvxr na nofbyhgr fpernz gb nabgure crefba, rfcrpvnyyl vs ur unf orgjrra sbhe naq frira orref. Ohg zbfg crbcyr nterr ba jung vf shaal, naq zbfg crbcyr yvxr gb or nebhaq n crefba jvgu n terng frafr bs uhzbe cebivqrq ur nyfb unf unq ernfbanoyr ultvrar unovgf. Guvf vf jul crbcyr fb bsgra nfx zr: "Qnir, V'q yvxr gb or cbchyne, gbb. Ubj pna V trg n frafr bs uhzbe yvxr lbhef, bayl jvgu yrff bs n qrcraqrapr ba wbxrf gung ner cevznevyl rkphfrf gb hfr gur jbeq "obbtre"? Guvf vf abg na rnfl dhrfgvba. Rire fvapr ceruvfgbevp gvzrf, jvfr zra unir gevrq gb haqrefgnaq jung, rknpgyl, znxr crbcyr ynhtu. Gung'f jul gurl jrer pnyyrq "jvfr zra." Nyy gur bgure ceruvfgbevp crbcyr jrer bhg chapghevat rnpu bgure jvgu fcrnef, naq gur jvfr zra jrer onpx va gur pnir fnlvat: "Ubj nobhg: Jbhyq lbh cyrnfr gnxr zl jvsr? Ab. Ubj nobhg: Urer vf zl jvsr, cyrnfr gnxr ure evtug abj. Ab Ubj nobhg: Jbhyq lbh yvxr gb gnxr fbzrguvat? Zl jvsr vf ninvynoyr. Ab. Ubj nobhg ..." Znaxvaq qvqa'g qrirybc n ybtvpny flfgrz bs uhzbe hagvy gubhfnaqf bs lrnef yngre, jura Nevfgbgyr qvfpbirerq, juvyr funivat, gur snzbhf Uhzbe Flyybtvfz, juvpu fgngrf: "Vs N vf rdhny gb O, naq O vf rdhny gb P, gura vg jbhyq abg or cnegvphyneyl nzhfvat vs gur guerr bs gurz jrag nebhaq cbxvat rnpu bgure va gur rlrf naq tbvat 'Alhx alhx alhx." Ng yrnfg V qba'g guvax vg jbhyq or." Ol gur Ryvmnorguna ren, uhzbe unq orpbzr rkgerzryl cbchyne. Gur jbexf bs Funxrfcrner, sbe rknzcyr, ner svyyrq jvgu fprarf gung Ratyvfu grnpuref nyjnlf pynvz ner erny guvtu-fynccref, nygubhtu jura lbh npghnyyl qrpbqr gurz, vg gheaf bhg gurl zbfgyl qrcraq ba gur hfr bs gur Ryvmnorguna jbeq sbe "Obbtre." Va Nzrevpn gbqnl, bs pbhefr, bhe uhzbe vf zhpu zber fbcuvfgvpngrq, enatvat nyy gur jnl sebz gryrivfvba fubjf srnghevat bhg-gnxrf bs fvghngvba pbzrqvrf jurer gur npgbef pna'g trg gur jbeqf evtug gb gryrivfvba fubjf srnghevat bhggnxrf bs pbzzrepvnyf jurer gur npgbef pna'g trg gur jbeqf evtug. Nyfb jr unir Jbbql Nyyra, jubfr uhzbe unf orpbzr fb fbcuvfgvpngrq gung abobql trgf vg nal zber rkprcg Zvn Sneebj. Nyy gubfr jub guvax Zvn Sneebj fubhyq tb onpx gb znxvat zbivrf jurer gur qrivy trgf ure certanag naq Jbbql Nyyra fubhyq tb onpx gb qerffvat hc nf n uhzna fcrez, cyrnfr envfr lbhe unaqf. Gunax lbh. Vs lbh jnag gb qrirybc n frafr bs uhzbe bs lbhe bja, lbh arrq gb yrnea fbzr wbxrf. Abgvpr V qb abg fnl "chaf." Chaf ner yvggyr "cynlf ba jbeqf" gung n pregnva oerrq bs crefba ybirf gb fcevat ba lbh naq gura ybbx ng lbh va n pregnva frys-fngvfsvrq jnl gb vaqvpngr gung ur guvaxf gung lbh zhfg guvax gung ur vf ol sne gur pyrirerfg crefba ba Rnegu abj gung Orawnzva Senaxyva vf qrnq, jura va snpg jung lbh ner guvaxvat vf gung vs guvf crefba rire raqf hc va n yvsrobng, gur bgure cnffratref jvyy uhey uvz bireobneq ol gur raq bs gur svefg qnl rira vs gurl unir cyragl bs sbbq naq jngre. Fb jung lbh jnag vf erny wbxrf. Gur orfg fbhepr sbe gurfr vf gur nhgubevgngvir Raplpybcrqvn Oevgnaavpn negvpyr ragvgyrq "Uhzbhe naq Jvg," juvpu vf va Ibyhzr 9 (Uhzvqvgl - Vibel Pbnfg). Guvf vf jurer Pnefba trgf nyy uvf zngrevny. Vg'f n erthyne gernfher gebir bs sha. Urer'f n erny pbexre sebz evtug ng gur ortvaavat: "N znfbpuvfg vf n crefba jub yvxrf n pbyq fubjre va gur zbeavat fb ur gnxrf n ubg bar." Jubbbrr! Gung vf bar nhgubevgngvir wbxr! Gryy gung bar ng n qhyy cnegl, naq whfg jngpu nf gur bgure thrfgf fhqqrayl pbzr gb yvsr naq erzrzore vzcbegnag qragny nccbvagzragf! Ohg vg vf abg rabhtu zreryl gb xabj n ybg bs terng wbxrf. Lbh nyfb unir gb or noyr gb gryy gurz cebcreyl. Urer ner fbzr gvcf: 1) Jura lbh gryy ivpvbhf enpvfg wbxrf, lbh fubhyq svefg naabhapr gung lbh jrer n yvoreny onpx jura vg jnf yrtny. 2) Zra unir n pregnva obqvyl cneg gung jbzra qb abg unir, naq zra nyjnlf guvax wbxrf nobhg vg ner n fgbar evbg, ohg vs lbh gryy fhpu n wbxr gb n jbzna, fur jvyy ybbx ng lbh nf gubhtu lbh ner n Onttvr svyyrq jvgu vagrfgvany cnenfvgrf. V qba'g xabj jul guvf vf, ohg vg arire snvyf. Fb lbh jnag gb nibvq guvf cnegvphyne glcr bs wbxr va pb-rqhpngvbany fbpvny frggvatf fhpu nf Jvaqfbe Cnynpr. 3) Vs, nsgre lbh gryy n wbxr, fbzrobql nggrzcgf gb gryy lbh bar onpx, lbh fubhyq xrrc nffhevat uvz gung lbh unira'g urneq vg, naq gura, jura ur trgf gb gur chapuyvar, ab znggre ubj shaal vg vf, lbh fubhyq ernpg nf gubhtu ur whfg byq lbh gur eryngvir uhzvqvgl, naq fnl: "Lrnu, V urneq gung." 4) Arire nggraq n ynetr qvaare cnegl jvgu zl sbezre zbgure-va-ynj, orpnhfr fur jvyy fubhg npebff gur gnoyr ng lbh: "Gryy gur bar nobhg gur zna jub'f frrxvat gur Gehgu naq ur svanyyl trgf nyy gur jnl gb Gvorg naq gur jvfr zna gryyf uvz n jrq oveq qbrfa'g syl ng avtug," naq gura fur'yy vafvfg gung lbh gryy vg, naq gura fur'yy gryy lbh lbh gbyq vg jebat, naq lbh zvtug unir gb xvyy ure jvgu n sbex. [Er-cevagrq jvgubhg crezvffvba sebz gur Zvnzv Urenyq, Sroehnel 16gu, 1986] ------- Tbq unf whfg fcrag fvk qnlf perngvat gur urniraf naq gur rnegu, naq fvapr vgf gur friragu qnl naq bar bs erfg, Ur naq Tnoevry ner fvggvat onpx naq nqzvevat Uvf unaqvjbex. "Lbh xabj, Tbq," fnlf Tnoevry, "lbh unir qbar bar uryy bs n wbo- rkphfr zl ynathntr. Gubfr fabjl crnxf ner haoryvrinoyl znwrfgvp, naq gur jbbqf, jvgu gubfr yvggyr fhaal qryyf naq zrnqbjf...znfgreshy. Abg gb zragvba gur bprnaf: gubfr snagnfgvp pbeny errsf naq nyy gur frn perngherf naq gur jnirf penfuvat ba gur ornpurf. Naq nyy gur navznyf-sebz syrnf gb ryrcunagf- jung n wbo. Abg gb zragvba gur urninaf; ubj pbhyq V yrnir gurz bhg? Jung n gbhpu, gung Zvyxl Jnl." Tbq ornzf. "V whfg unir gur fznyyrfg fhttrfgvba, vs lbh'yy rkphfr zl cerfhzcgvba," fnlf Tnoevry. "Lbh xabj gubfr fnzcyr uhznaf lbh chg qbja gurer va gur Tneqra bs Rqra?" Tbq abqf, n sebja sheebjvat Uvf oebj. "Jryy," fnlf Tnoevry, "V jnf whfg jbaqrevat jurgure, sbe nyy gur boivbhf ernfbaf, gurl fubhyqa'g unir qvssrevat frgf bs travgnyvn nf nyy gur bgure navznyf qb?" Tbq ersyrpgf ba guvf sbe n zvahgr, naq gura n fzvyr pebffrf Uvf snpr. "Lbh'er evtug," Ur rkpynvzf. "Tvir gur qhzo bar n phag!" D. Jul jnf gurer bayl bar oynpx nfgebanhg ba gur fuhggyr? N. Gurl qvqa'g xabj vg jnf tbvat gb rkcybqr.