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From: oz@rlgvax.UUCP (THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Glossary of computer terms
Message-ID: <952@rlgvax.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 21-Mar-86 19:11:30 EST
Article-I.D.: rlgvax.952
Posted: Fri Mar 21 19:11:30 1986
Date-Received: Mon, 31-Mar-86 06:08:04 EST
Organization: CCI, Federal Sales Office
Lines: 43

This was given to me by my sister-in-law.  Hope you all enjoy it.

===============================================================================

                        Micro systems & Services Update

                            by James Speed Hensinger

                      (reprinted without permission from
                     ACTION FOR LIBRARIES/ December, 1985)



  DATA COMMUNICATIONS GLOSSARY

  Adaptive Equalization  -  busing
  ASCII                  -  A Chinese question
  Asynch                 -  a place to wash dishes
  Automatic calling unit -  teenager with a telephone
  BAUD                   -  lady of the evening
  Bisynch                -  Farewell to the dish washing place
  Bit                    -  twelve and a half cents
  Bit rate               -  how often you are bitten
  Broad band             -  all girl orchestra
  Byte rate              -  how fast you can eat
  Envelope delay         -  the U.S. Postal Service
  Frequency modulations  -  "Not tonight, I have a headache."
  Full duplex            -  no vacancies
  High speed line        -  "My place or yours?"
  Hollerith              -  what thou doest when thy phone is on the fritzeth
  Kilocycle              -  capital punishment for a bike
  Microwave              -  signal from a friendly micro
  Milliamp               -  Mrs. Amp's daughter
  Modem                  -  How a Southerner asks for seconds
  Parity check           -  agricultural subsidy
  Parity error           -  the parity check is late
  Phase jitter           -  nervous reaction to the full moon
  Real time              -  see BAUD
  Semiconductor          -  part time band leader
  Synch code             -  SOS from the Titanic
  Teletypewriter         -  talk it over with your Smith-Corona
  Tieline                -  the latest in neckwear
  Twisted Pair           -  a couple of perverts