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From: lui@parcvax.Xerox.COM (Ken Lui)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: "SO" is no good (new? topic)
Message-ID: <267@parcvax.Xerox.COM>
Date: Tue, 25-Mar-86 17:22:09 EST
Article-I.D.: parcvax.267
Posted: Tue Mar 25 17:22:09 1986
Date-Received: Thu, 27-Mar-86 07:34:35 EST
Organization: Xerox PARC
Lines: 41
Keywords: words definitions

Word-Of-The-Day: ossuary


[Pardom me if this topic has been discussed already.  I'm new to the net.]

I don't know about you folks, but I just can't bring myself to use a term
coined by the government (census bureau?) when referring to the woman I
love.  "Significant Other" and "Spouse Equivalent" make me choke.  "SO" is a
petroleum bi-product, for Yafa's sake!

But what word is better?  I would be comfortable with "lover" if people
didn't always hang such a heavy sexual connotation on it.  What do I mean
"people" ... even \I/ mistake "lover" to mean only "sex partner" sometimes
(if someone tells me they are going to meet their lover for lunch, the first
image that pops into my mind is a little daytime frolic!)

Of course, "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" are too juvenile.  "Beau" and
"belle" are too French for my taste.  Besides, I favor a word that is
neutral with respect to gender.  SO has that advantage.

In fact, SO has a lot of advantages: neutral gender, widely understood,
vague enough to be accurate.  But it is such an UGLY term.  I'm talking
esthetics here.

I'd use "old lady" and "old man" if it weren't for the fact that she
despises those terms.  I think they are appropriately irreverential.

Currently, I favor "mate".  It's neutral for gender, and it describes the
relationship well enough. Unfortunately, many people consider "mate"
to mean "spouse".  And, of course, if we ever went to Australia
we would be terribly confused.

Anyone else have any ideas?  The term should be independent of gender,
describe the relationship that "SO" is commonly used for, and be
esthetically pleasing.

Maybe I should just get married and use "spouse", eh?

Perry A. Caro
Caro.pa@Xerox.COM
(from the terminal of lui@parcvax.xerox.com)