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From: matt@oddjob.UUCP (Matt Crawford)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: how to go non-dutch ?
Message-ID: <1260@oddjob.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 27-Mar-86 14:11:10 EST
Article-I.D.: oddjob.1260
Posted: Thu Mar 27 14:11:10 1986
Date-Received: Tue, 1-Apr-86 07:37:32 EST
Reply-To: matt@oddjob.UUCP (Matt Crawford)
Organization: U. Chicago, Astronomy & Astrophysics
Lines: 32

There was a discussion recently about "who pays" and it seemed
to be a common opinion that dates are, by default, assumed to be
dutch.  Well, that's not how it was when I was a teenager, but
that doesn't make it wrong.  But it does give me a problem ...

Having recently been a student and still being at a university I
come into social contact with many students.  They usually have
very limited financial means, while I am newly flush.  I prefer
to pay a greater share of the costs rather than to reduce the
frequency of going out to what others can afford.  Since I have
a better time with some company than I would have by spending
even five times the money alone, occasionally treating others
does not bother me at all.

With a group of friends it is easy to do this without giving the
impression that it is charity, by offering the excuse that I am
celebrating something (completion of a project, tax refund,
solstice).  I find it more difficult to gracefully pay the way
on a date, especially with a new person.  Mind you, I don't try
to pay for everything just for the sake of doing so, but there
are times when it is obvious that another person just can't
spare the money.

So I ask these two questions:  How do you make clear when asking
for a date that you not asking the cost to be shared?  And how
can you avoid someone's feeling indebted?
_____________________________________________________
Matt		University	crawford@anl-mcs.arpa
Crawford	of Chicago	ihnp4!oddjob!matt

Somewhere in suburban Honolulu, an unemployed bellhop is whipping up
a batch of illegal psilocybin chop suey!!