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From: linda@amdcad.UUCP (Linda Seltzer)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.women
Subject: Re: Win/Win Players vs. Win/Lose Players
Message-ID: <11165@amdcad.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 28-Mar-86 23:26:35 EST
Article-I.D.: amdcad.11165
Posted: Fri Mar 28 23:26:35 1986
Date-Received: Sun, 30-Mar-86 02:41:53 EST
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Summary: Dealing with a win-lose player

> >> Has anyone worked out the dynamics where one player is using Win/Win
> >> and the other is using Win/Lose?  Seems to me the outcome is generally
> >> Lose/Lose?  Does anyone have a strategy  for dealing with a Win/Lose
> >> partner?


My answer is not to play manipulative games.  I have my own philosophy
of life, which is spiritual.  If someone is being dishonest with me, I
confront that person directly.  In some situations I have done this in
writing.  If someone is acting like a cutthroat I either tell them I
don't like it or I find another, less direct way to let them know
that.  I am not about to waste my intellectual energy on keeping track of
who did what to me and who slighted me.  I would never get anything done
and wouldn't progress at all to any meaningful levels of life experience
and inspiration, such as artistic or scientific creativity.  There are
all kinds of people walking around who will try to play all sorts of
win-lose games, and you can't lose if you don't play.  I consider
these people's actions to be like random noise.  I just ignore it like
the static on the radio, and go about whatever positive thing I am doing.
That's part of what you learn in a practice like meditation or playing
the shakuhachi.  You just concentrate on your life (breathing) and
block out junk and noise.