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From: davidsen@steinmetz.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.women,net.social
Subject: Re: No fault divorce
Message-ID: <826@steinmetz.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 8-Jul-86 11:54:27 EDT
Article-I.D.: steinmet.826
Posted: Tue Jul  8 11:54:27 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 12-Jul-86 06:58:22 EDT
References: <1056@watdragon.UUCP> <15040@ucla-cs.ARPA> <4054@sun.uucp> <5950@sri-spam.ARPA> <159@wheaton>
Reply-To: davidsen@kbsvax.UUCP (Davidsen)
Organization: GE CRD, Schenectady, NY
Lines: 49
Xref: watmath net.women:11234 net.social:1187

In article <159@wheaton> bagot@wheaton (Bill Bagot) writes:
>In article <5950@sri-spam.ARPA>, gds@sri-spam.UUCP writes:
>> If you are married or engaged now, are you happy?
>> Do you think you will be happy 10, 20, n years from now?
>> Were you happy 10, 20, n years ago (while married or engaged to the same
>> person)?

I was going to write a flame to the person who replied to this, but
I'll pass, let him be happy. Why is it that marriage is one topic on
which the opinions of the losers and non-participants are accepted as
gospel? Let me pass on a few tips on what's NOT important.

Physical attraction: after the first 20 years neither of you is going
to be a sex symbol, and unless your drives strip a gear, some of the
younger members of the opposite sex are going to look a LOT better.
People who think this is important get young lovers about 40.

Agreement about (pick a topic): looking at my friends who've been
married for 20 or more years, roughly half of them fight and the other
half agree on most things. None of them have a relation based on one of
them being the dominant partner (although a few are based on both
thinking they are).

Money: being rich and poor is easy. Being middle class you will
disagree about allocation of funds. It shouldn't be a big problem,
although it is used as an excuse when other things aren't working.

----------------

Notice that I haven't given the secret of HAVING a good marriage, just
mentioned things which don't prevent it. The only thing I can state
that will almost always wreck a marriage is one person (or both)
thinking "s/he'll change that when we get married". People don't
mention the little things that bug them, because they don't trust the
relationship, and all too often their right! If you want to change
someone, either do it before you get married, or forget it!

"Still in love, 23 years next week"

-- 
	-bill davidsen

  ihnp4!seismo!rochester!steinmetz!--\
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                    unirot ------------->---> crdos1!davidsen
                          chinet ------/
         sixhub ---------------------/        (davidsen@ge-crd.ARPA)

"Stupidity, like virtue, is its own reward"