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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbatt!cbosgd!ihnp4!iwtpu!iwsam!kca
From: kca@iwsam.UUCP (archie)
Newsgroups: net.women,net.social
Subject: Re: No fault divorce
Message-ID: <27@iwsam.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 18-Jul-86 11:22:38 EDT
Article-I.D.: iwsam.27
Posted: Fri Jul 18 11:22:38 1986
Date-Received: Sun, 20-Jul-86 04:13:35 EDT
References: <1056@watdragon.UUCP> <15040@ucla-cs.ARPA> <4054@sun.uucp> <25@iwsam.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL
Lines: 62
Xref: watmath net.women:11420 net.social:1219
Summary: correct last posting;oops

In article <25@iwsam.UUCP>, kca@iwsam.UUCP (archie) writes:
> In article <3526@lll-crg.ARpA>, booter@lll-crg.ARpA (Elaine Richards) writes:
> > In article <826@steinmetz.UUCP> davidsen@kbsvax.UUCP (Davidsen) writes:
> > >In article <159@wheaton> bagot@wheaton (Bill Bagot) writes:
> > >>In article <5950@sri-spam.ARPA>, gds@sri-spam.UUCP writes:
> > >>> If you are married or engaged now, are you happy?
> > >>> Do you think you will be happy 10, 20, n years from now?
> > >>> Were you happy 10, 20, n years ago (while married or engaged to the same
> > >>> person)?
> > >
> > >I was going to write a flame to the person who replied to this, but
> > >I'll pass, let him be happy. Why is it that marriage is one topic on
> > >which the opinions of the losers and non-participants are accepted as
> > 			   ^^^^^^
> > >gospel? Let me pass on a few tips on what's NOT important.
> > >
> > 
> > That is NOT nice!!! Someone who is not married is that way because either
> > they (somewhere deep in there) don't want to be, are not ready (know how
> > many really YOUNG people read net.news?), or they haven't figured out how
> > to "go about it". Saying they are "losers" is really unfair!
Not nice? get serious.  I assume that people who didn't get married
didn't want to get married (this may be wrong in some cases, but it
seems a more respectful point of view).  Why should it have to be "deep
in there"? There are many people with many reasons for not wanting
to be married.  I've read some of them on the net. What I resent a lot
is that if I say I have a happy marriage and thus have a counter
example to the theory that MARRIAGE is always an oppressive, rotten
relationship that always deprives women of their freedom and individuality,
the theory isn't
correct, I am told ( by unmarried people, whatever their reasons or
circumstance) that I am just one case and not the norm, and that I have no
right to use my experience to attack their theory.  In fact, all they have
to justify their theory is their (selectivly viewed) experience.
Just because I preferred being married to being single doesn't give
me the right to assume there is something inherently wrong or inferior
about the state of singlehood except for a few isolated cases, which
is what a lot of single people say about marriage.  
I don't think people whose marriages or relationships ended are 'losers'
but they did fail at those relationships.  I don't think it's fair to
say something is bad because I personally made some mistakes at it.
> > 
> > Unmarried people are entitled to discuss marriage and divorce just as
> > married people are entitled to discuss singleness. All of us may discuss
> > going to the Moon, but not too many of us will get there.
But people who have been there know a lot more about walking on the
moon than you or I do from reading about it and watching it on TV.
> > 
> > Lighten up.
> > 
> > E
> > *****
> 
All married people were once single people, but not all single
people have been married.  Granted, they have probably observed
other people's marriages, but there's a difference between observing
something (watching somebody drive a car, hearing about somebody's
college experiences but not going to college yourself) and doing it
yourself.

> 
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