Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbatt!cbosgd!ihnp4!gargoyle!sphinx!oddjob!cheryl
From: cheryl@oddjob.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.women,net.social
Subject: Re: No fault divorce
Message-ID: <1417@oddjob.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 18-Jul-86 13:01:52 EDT
Article-I.D.: oddjob.1417
Posted: Fri Jul 18 13:01:52 1986
Date-Received: Sun, 20-Jul-86 04:14:27 EDT
References: <1056@watdragon.UUCP> <15040@ucla-cs.ARPA> <4054@sun.uucp> <192@wheaton> <24@iwsam.UUCP>
Reply-To: cheryl@oddjob.UUCP (Cheryl Stewart)
Organization: U. Chicago, Astronomy & Astrophysics
Lines: 59
Xref: watmath net.women:11421 net.social:1220

In article <24@iwsam.UUCP> kca@iwsam.UUCP (archie) writes:
>> > In article <159@wheaton> bagot@wheaton (Bill Bagot) writes:
>> > >In article <5950@sri-spam.ARPA>, gds@sri-spam.UUCP writes:
>> > >> If you are married or engaged now, are you happy?
>> > >> Do you think you will be happy 10, 20, n years from now?
>> > >> Were you happy 10, 20, n years ago (while married or engaged to the same
>> > >> person)?
>> > 
>> > Why is it that marriage is one topic on
>> > which the opinions of the losers and non-participants are accepted as
>> > gospel?
>> 
>> 	Wait!  Hold on!  I have accouple of things to say:
>> 
>> 	Firstly, isn't it alittle bit strong to call people 'losers'
>> 	in marriage. Why? Just becasue they haven't reached the 'high-level'
>> 	or marriage that you have?  Do you think you're better than them?
>
>> > People can probably be called 'losers' if their marriages failed
>> > i.e. ended in divorce.  Some people are sensitive to calling their
>> > marriages failures or saying that they personally failed because
>> > they got divorced.  I think it's like getting fired from a job:
>> > it may not be all your fault, there may be extenuating circumstances,
>> > but it's not what you would call a success.

What about quitting a lousy job and going on to a better one, i.e.
one that pays better and that you like more?  This is what MY divorce
was like, and I call it a great success.  Within a year of my divorce,
I also changed jobs to a much, much better one--I was free to do so!
Now, less than a year after that, my former office mate has ALSO opted
for the get-divorced, get-a-better-job option.  I consider hers a great 
success,  and I suspect that my getting fed up with allowing myself to
be shit on in my ex-job and ex-marriage had something to do with her 
getting fed up with it too.

>> >	I don't think that I am better than anyone else because I have
>> >  a happy marriage and he/she doesn't.  Although I have a happy
>> > marriage, I don't think everyone should be married, I don't make
>> > speeches about what an oppressive and demeaning state being single is,

You most certainly do.  You call all divorced people failures.  That
is demeaning and oppressive.  You fail to see the negative effects of
marriage on women.  

>> > and I am reasonably sick of single people making similar
>> > speeches about marriage.  I think relationships/marriages should be
>> > evaluated (if you need to do that) in the instant cases, not in the
>> > general case.

So why is it that married women are more likely to commit suicide than
unmarried women, and married men are less likely to commit suicide than
unmarried men?  Statistically, marriage has more negative effects on women 
than men?  It is then vailid to conclude that women are more oppressed
in marriage than men.  Therefore, divorce can be considered a success for
women who find themselves oppressed in marriage.

Cheryl