Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!decvax!decwrl!pyramid!hplabs!tektronix!tekig5!chrisa From: chrisa@tekig5.UUCP Newsgroups: net.social Subject: Re: Electronic Relationships Message-ID: <1034@tekig5.UUCP> Date: Tue, 12-Aug-86 16:20:49 EDT Article-I.D.: tekig5.1034 Posted: Tue Aug 12 16:20:49 1986 Date-Received: Wed, 13-Aug-86 23:03:48 EDT References: <140@uwmacc.UUCP> Reply-To: chrisa@tekig5.UUCP (Chris Andersen) Distribution: na Organization: Tektronix, Inc., Beaverton, OR. Lines: 63 In article <140@uwmacc.UUCP> anderson@uwmacc.UUCP (Jess Anderson) writes: > One of my working hypotheses is that in electronically- >mediated relationships, "person" should be understood as >"persona" (by contrast, in direct relationships, person is >more than persona). I am more than one persona, and perhaps a >different one (no, not schizophrenic) with each recipient. Interesting theory. However, it doesn't apply only to electronic communcations. These different persona exist all the time but it's not until the person begins to *really* express their feelings that these persona's begin to come out. Many times in normal social interactions, people are too cowed to actually come out and let their persona flow. The few times I really see it happen is at parties amongst only close friends and at sf conventions (which is one reason why I like to go to cons.) On a computerized forum, you are basically *forced* to unleash your persona or keep quiet (most net readers choose the later). >1. Are people more interesting in their electronic > manifestations than in their "real" ones (at least often > enough to mean something)? Many people's persona's are very interesting *if* they are allowed to come out. in "real" life they aren't always allowed to do so, they may be a very 'quiet' personality in social circumstances despite the fact that they may be quite outgoing in their writtings (I'm something like this). >2. What are the specific advantages of the electronic form? It allows people to focus their persona in a less threatening atmosphere. It also allows you time to think out your viewpoint. There isn't anyone there waiting for an instant response. >3. Its specific (nonobvious) disadvantages? It can focus your persona *to* much. You can get caught up in the spirit of the conversation and lose perspective. Using an example that really happened, I used to be a very introspective individual (still am, but not as much as in the past) but when I got onto net.singles last summer I thrived in the good feelings I saw in the postings of many individuals their. I sort of broke down and bled my feelings for everyone to see (including those who really didn't want to see it). I got several positive and suportive messages from some very special people that helped me a lot to pick myself up and rebuild my self-esteem. Which was great, except that I was only on the computer for the summer. Once I had to go back to school and stop using the net, I found that that support net had been holding onto me *to* strong. Suddenly, when that support was taken away. I fell apart all over again. Fortunately I was able to pick myself up again and learn how to be more self-supporting, but I did learn a lesson: friends can offer good advice and a warm shoulder to cry on, but you can't depend on them to hold you up forever. Hmmm, I guess that's really a danger associated with any group of people, not just on the net. But you get the idea. -- My mailbox is always willing to accept letters. Yours in better understanding, Chris Andersen (chrisa@tekig5) P.S. August 26 is my last day on the net. If you want to keep in contact, then reach me before that date.