Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!princeton!caip!lll-crg!figmo From: figmo@lll-crg.ARpA (Lynn Gold) Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social,net.women Subject: Re: Saying things about your SO on the net Message-ID: <5848@lll-crg.ARpA> Date: Mon, 8-Sep-86 03:47:58 EDT Article-I.D.: lll-crg.5848 Posted: Mon Sep 8 03:47:58 1986 Date-Received: Tue, 9-Sep-86 07:32:57 EDT References: <6688@sri-spam.ARPA> Reply-To: figmo@lll-crg.UUCP (Lynn Gold) Organization: The Kitchen of Panda Programming, Mtn. View, CA Lines: 56 Xref: watmath net.singles:16318 net.social:1386 net.women:12666 In article <6688@sri-spam.ARPA> gds@sri-spam.ARPA (The lost Bostonian) writes: >I suppose it would be a good idea if I asked her what sorts of things >she minded (or didn't mind) being said about her on the net. I was >wondering though how other people whose SO's or spouses occasionally >read about themselves on the net, or who other netters meet >occasionally, feel about posting personal details about their SO's or >spouses. If you think the msg I posted wrt my husband and housework was bad, you should've seen what he sent to a rather large mailing list about our sex life! I was pissed, embarassed and looking at divorce as a real alternative. Since my husband and I met through electronic mail, and since he's quite active on the ARPAnet, and since many people know him better than me, anything that one of us posts has this devastating tendency to get back to the other one. Ever since the aforementioned discussions HE posted a few years ago, I make it a point to monitor what he says. I don't consider it anyone else's business where I do/don't like to be touched or whatever. > Do you generally ask permission before posting? If I consider the subject matter personal, yes. If I'm stating something which I purport to be an opinion of his, yes. If I'm just giving my viewpoint on something that doesn't affect him, no. If I don't care what he thinks if he should see it, no. It's been a LONG time since I've asked him for anything. > Are there certain things about your relationship you wouldn't post? Yes. I won't post anything about him where I'd object to him posting something something similar about me. I also won't post anything intimate without his okay. > Do you think this affects other people's perceptions of your SO? >Do you think if you are critical of your SO on the net that you are not >giving them a chance to defend themselves. Many people already have their own perceptions of my husband through their own experiences with him. Those who haven't met him or who don't know him well can and will be affected by what I do/don't say about him. On the same note, many people who know him feel they know me based upon things HE's said about ME, so it works both ways. My husband is perfectly capable of logging onto a machine which carries netnews and reading this group. He spends enough time reading the BBoards at Stanford and flaming back every day! --Lynn -- UUCP: ...lll-crg!figmo ARPA: Lynn%PANDA@SUMEX-AIM *********************************************************************** * Any resemblance between my postings and any person, living or dead, * * is purely coincidental. Besides, I'm only a guest user here... * ***********************************************************************