Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbatt!cbosgd!ucbvax!ernie.Berkeley.EDU!slouie From: slouie@ernie.Berkeley.EDU (Screwy Louie) Newsgroups: talk.bizarre Subject: Re: Build a better mousetrap Message-ID: <15476@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU> Date: Sat, 30-Aug-86 11:25:13 EDT Article-I.D.: ucbvax.15476 Posted: Sat Aug 30 11:25:13 1986 Date-Received: Sun, 31-Aug-86 03:21:46 EDT References: <658@sdcc12.UUCP> <3309@ism780c.UUCP> Sender: usenet@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU Reply-To: slouie@ernie.Berkeley.EDU.UUCP (Screwy Louie) Organization: University of California, Berkeley Lines: 45 In article <673@sdcc12.UUCP> wa60@sdcc12.UUCP (Paul van de Graaf) writes: > Since then, I stick mainly to mouse-traps. >... >I drowned one in water, and killed >the other with a brick. It's cyanide or chlorine gas for the next mouse. > >Paul van de Graaf sdcsvax!sdcc12!wa60 U. C. San Diego Nuclear!!! Go nuclear!!! Take the little bastards out while ya got the chance! Actually, the mice are merely trained terrorists from North Finland who are out to destory the world as we know it! Before, there were always rumors of mice terrorism in many nations thoughout the world. Random events of mice "accidentally" chewing through wires of many military institutions, resource labs, homes of innocent women and children, and even (gasp!) those of USENET facilities. Have you heard of such ravaging and destruction in North Finland? Nooooooo! Even the Soviets admit they have mice in their country. Today's common house mouse has been trained in many more forms of death and torture than his counterpart a few years ago. But, we have been warned by others of the actions of the mice. Many brave people have tried to warn us, but were quietted quickly by effiecent mice. Remember "Tom and Jerry"? Jerry won out most of the time, didn't he? Ever stop to figure why a supposively weak mouse ever stood up against a large hungry cat? How about old "Mickey"? Pro-mouse propaganda has been seeping in our culture for DECADES! And "Mighty Mouse"? Warnings of superpowered mice by a brave cartoonist! And now, it's gone... Hmmmm... Douglas Adams' "supermice", Benjy Mouse and Franky Mouse, who are really beings from another dimension. Hey, I'm worried. But what can poor humans do against the scrounge of professionally trained mice? Well, we could fight them with conventional weapons, but that would take decades and cost us billions in dollars and lives. So, we must turn to using our minds to outthink these "rodents of death". Building a better mousetrap is a good idea, but we must wipe mice from the face of this Earth! Personally, I'm arming myself with a double-12 gauge pump shotgun. I've set out little piles of peanut butter out on the floor. When they come for me, I'm gonna give 'em a fight like they have never seen bef ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -The Mad Hobbit- ARPA: slouie@{ernie,cory}.Berkeley.EDU UUCP: ucbvax!{ernie,cory}!slouie USnail: 2398 Parker #7, Berkeley, Ca 94704 Disclaimer: You really gonna believe this? I've got some swamp land... "Hairy toes! I just *LOVE* hairy toes!"