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From: mary@bunkerb.UUCP (Mary Shurtleff)
Newsgroups: soc.women,soc.singles
Subject: Re: Taking control of pleasure
Message-ID: <699@bunkerb.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 18-Sep-86 08:45:38 EDT
Article-I.D.: bunkerb.699
Posted: Thu Sep 18 08:45:38 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 27-Sep-86 18:22:15 EDT
References: <554@rosevax.UUCP> <1953@mtgzy.UUCP> <2397@ihlpg.UUCP> <2110@mtgzz.UUCP> <474@hjuxa.UUCP>
Reply-To: mary@bunkerb.UUCP (Mary Shurtleff)
Organization: Bunker Ramo, Trumbull Ct
Lines: 51
Xref: watmath soc.women:16 soc.singles:14

In article <474@hjuxa.UUCP> akl@hjuxa.UUCP writes:
>In article <2110@mtgzz.UUCP>, eme@mtgzz.UUCP (e.m.eades) writes:
>> 
>> Yes, I'm getting married next May.  Whether I'm changing my name
>> depends on which week you ask me.
>>  Anyone care to discuss the pros and cons?
>> 
>> -Beth ?

> I'd like to see some thoughts on this as well.
>
>Ideas??
>
>AKL@DEC

I got married four years ago, and also debated whether or not to change my name.
I would have hyphenated if I could have, but with two nine-letter names, I would
have had a terrible time signing checks!  My husband asked me to take his name,
because he felt that since we were forming a new family, family members should
share the same name.  That seemed reasonable to me.  He gave me no BS about 
being HIS wife so I should have HIS name, or anything like that.  I did start
using the first letter of my maiden name as a second middle initial, and that
has worked just fine (so I never really dropped the name, I just use an abbre-
viated version of it).

At the time, it never occurred to me to ask him to share my name, or to come
up with an entirely new one.  That's because it isn't that big a deal to me.
I am who I am regardless of what you call me.  For example, my first and second
names are Mary and Jean.  I answer to Mary, Mary Jean, MJ, Mare, Marezy,
and various and sundry endearments used by my other half.  As long as what you
wish to call me is agreeable to me and to you, it's no major issue as far as
I'm concerned.

So as far as what the two of you should do, I can only recommend that you do
what is comfortable for you.  I don't see any shame in changing one's name,
if you feel you have a good reason to do so.  At the same time, it's certainly
not odd to keep your own name.  Any of the possibilities mentioned by AKL in
her article are good, but you have to decide which you feel best living with
for (we hope) a long time.

Cheers!

-- 

Mary Shurtleff                        ....decvax!bunker!bunkerb!mary
                                      ....ittatc!bunker!bunkerb!mary

                            <---***--->
"And now for something completely different, a man with nine legs."
"He ran away!"
                            <---***--->