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From: rb@cci632.UUCP (Rex Ballard)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Nice guys finish last redivivus
Message-ID: <393@cci632.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 23-Sep-86 13:14:05 EDT
Article-I.D.: cci632.393
Posted: Tue Sep 23 13:14:05 1986
Date-Received: Sun, 28-Sep-86 21:52:31 EDT
References: <2957@pyuxd.UUCP> <184@hrcca.UUCP>
Reply-To: rb@ccird1.UUCP (Rex Ballard)
Organization: CCI, Rochester Development, Rochester, NY
Lines: 42
Summary: Detachment

In article <184@hrcca.UUCP> bodhi@hrcca.UUCP (Bodhisattva) writes:
>> >			 why do females act this way?  eg Be nice => they
>> >lose interest: ignore 'em, abuse 'em and they crave you.
>> 
>> I'm guilty of Doug's accusations...and believe me, I've spent numerous
>> hours brainstorming with my friends as to why I'm always attracted to the
>> jerks when there are perfectly nice gentlemen that would love to take me
>> out.  
>> --Micci
>But where does that leave us?  Does it mean that the only way a nice guy
>can get someone he desires is to lie to her and pretend he cares less
>than he does...to act like the jerks, and then hope not to get caught up
>in the role and truly become one?

YES!!! :-).

Believe it or not, when I was having trouble meeting women (except as
"big brother"), I was given almost exactly that advice.  I couldn't
believe that it would work, but I tried it.  It was amazing how many
women were attracted to me when I acted like I didn't care!!  Unfortunately,
it backfired several times, where women I really wasn't interested in
were persuing me!  It was also interesting how many women lost interest
when I began to show some.

In the last case, I actually met a woman that I initially wasn't all that
interested in, but who was interested in me.  After a few weeks of dating,
I found that she was someone special.  I still can't say I'm "consumed
with lust" when I see her, but in every other way, she is the perfect
partner.

I guess women feel threatened by men who are visably attracted to them.
I suppose also, there is the issue of the "macho" role model.  We get
upset when men act like that, but many women are attracted to this
type of man.  Men who act visably attracted to a woman and then get
the woman they want are often portrayed as baffoons, or the comic
relief.  Dudley Moore in "10" isn't what you would call the ultimate
sex symbol.

I might point out as well, that women seem more willing to approach me
for social relationships, hugs, friendship,... since I have been married,
than when I was single.  It's not that all the "good ones" are taken, it's
that they don't become "good ones" until they are taken.