Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!lll-crg!nike!ll-xn!mit-amt!mit-eddie!genrad!decvax!tektronix!reed!thoma
From: thoma@reed.UUCP (Ann Muir Thomas)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Attractiveness
Message-ID: <4164@reed.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 27-Sep-86 19:40:15 EDT
Article-I.D.: reed.4164
Posted: Sat Sep 27 19:40:15 1986
Date-Received: Tue, 30-Sep-86 00:36:35 EDT
Organization: Reed College, Portland OR
Lines: 42
Keywords: vagueness


To Them Who Ask, They Gets ANSWERS!

Someone asked, again, what makes someone attractive to those
of us out in netland.  This is my spontaneous (i.e. not thought
out in advance) answer:

	Physical attributes don't make much of a diferrence to me
(ask Person X; he _thought_ he was unattractive 'til I came along
*8-)... Bodies are bodies; the mind is far more important, and
"hunks" don't interest me in the slightest.  But I don't like it 
when a man obviously takes little or no
time to present a neat/clean appearance.  By this I don't mean
"prepped-out" or "disco-stud" or "Yuppie"-- one of my more
attractive SO's was active in the Society for Creative
Anachronism, and dressed the part, to a degree, on an everyday
basis.  What I mean is that the men who I am attracted to
obviously take good care of their bodies and clothing.  
I also will admit a bias against men who are severely
overweight (i.e. >75 lbs. overweight).  But overall, I am not too
fussy about things like height (i am 5'2", so there are very few
men who are shorter than me; SO's have ranged from 5'6" to 6'4").
However, a man's EYES need to have a peculiar gentle expression
for me to trust him... in fact I would say that any man I am
attracted to has a non-threatening persona.  I have learned from
experience to trust my intuition; if I get an uneasy feeling
around a man, no matter how attractive he might be otherwise, I
will likely avoid him as much as possible, even if people tell me
he's safe.  (yes this is very subjective...)

Relatedly, the non-threatening aspect is MOST important, as far
as what I am attracted to emotionally.   Most of my SO's, if not
outright "feminist males" (they are RARE), have at least been
sympathetic to my mildly feminist viewpoint. I also need someone who
will realize that I am still "a wee young 'un" who needs lots of
space to grow (this may be why my last 3 relationships have
been/are long distance).  I look for the "usuals": similar
interests, intelligence, etc.  I do not relate well to men who
have "had it easy" since I have not.

Ann Muir Thomas
...tektronix!reed!thoma