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From: cc@locus.ucla.edu (Oleg "Kill the bastards" Kiselev)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Nice guys finish last redivivus
Message-ID: <1729@curly.ucla-cs.ARPA>
Date: Wed, 24-Sep-86 21:26:17 EDT
Article-I.D.: curly.1729
Posted: Wed Sep 24 21:26:17 1986
Date-Received: Tue, 30-Sep-86 07:35:45 EDT
References: <2957@pyuxd.UUCP> <184@hrcca.UUCP> <393@cci632.UUCP>
Reply-To: oac6.oleg@LOCUS.UCLA.EDU (Oleg "Kill the bastards" Kiselev)
Distribution: net
Organization: Right down the hall, on your left (UCLA Computer Club)
Lines: 40
Summary: Cause and effect... Some people confuse them!

In article <393@cci632.UUCP> rb@ccird1.UUCP (Rex Ballard) writes:
>Believe it or not, when I was having trouble meeting women (except as
>"big brother"), I was given almost exactly that advice.  I couldn't
>believe that it would work, but I tried it.  It was amazing how many
>women were attracted to me when I acted like I didn't care!!  Unfortunately,
>it backfired several times, where women I really wasn't interested in
>were persuing me!  It was also interesting how many women lost interest
>when I began to show some.

Correct me if I am wrong. Was it the lack of interest or the lack of 
explicit SEXUAL interest that you were exhibiting? You DID meet women
socially; you DID talk to them; probably initiating the conversation;
although in a non-sexual way, you DID show them attention! So you WERE
interested in them -- AS PEOPLE, human beings, friends!

Or am I completely misunderstanding you?

>I guess women feel threatened by men who are visably attracted to them.
>I suppose also, there is the issue of the "macho" role model.  We get
>upset when men act like that, but many women are attracted to this
>type of man.

Would a woman who goes for a "macho" image REALLY be a good candidate
for a relationship? (One night stands are exempt from this) Would you
(men) be comfortable with a woman who clearly exhibits physical attraction
to you while you are really not interested in her? (Yes, Ray! Many men
are not attracted to all women they meet even if those women are scantily
dressed!)

Physical attraction and display of it is fine iff both partners feel it
at the same time (in my experience, riding the "pheromone wave" is an 
unimaginable high and the most thrilling experience in MY life (not having
done "crack" I am not sure it's the ultimate...)) A heavy attack of sexual 
desire from a person you hardly know and do not really like is a different
story. It is unpleasant.

And, in keeping with my beliefs, I think that if *I* feel like this, OTHERS
might feel the same way. Women included. Am I wrong?

						Oleg Kiselev