Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!caip!lll-crg!seismo!rochester!ritcv!cci632!rb From: rb@cci632.UUCP (Rex Ballard) Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.women Subject: Re: Yale-Harvard marriage study Message-ID: <435@cci632.UUCP> Date: Wed, 1-Oct-86 11:21:15 EDT Article-I.D.: cci632.435 Posted: Wed Oct 1 11:21:15 1986 Date-Received: Sat, 4-Oct-86 08:27:56 EDT References: <14915@onfcanim.UUCP> <519@randvax.UUCP> <1078@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU> <196@hrcca.UUCP> <1118@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU> Reply-To: rb@ccird1.UUCP (Rex Ballard) Distribution: net Organization: CCI, Rochester Development, Rochester, NY Lines: 72 Keywords: bitch, bitch, bitch Xref: watmath soc.singles:289 soc.women:194 Summary: Older, wiser, richer, better? In article <1118@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU> cheryl@batcomputer.UUCP (cheryl) writes: >In article <196@hrcca.UUCP> bodhi@hrcca.UUCP (Bodhisattva) writes: >>In <1078@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU> Cheryl writes: >>> When I was a sophomore, my boyfriend at the time was a senior. He >>> EXPECTED me to transfer to wherever HE got into grad school (NO SHIT!). >>Lotsa gripes from someone who could have dated a frosh and chose to date >>a senior. >Well it all comes in a can, buddy, and what's on the label ain't always what's >inside. Agreed. There are men who feel they should be feminist, but also want to be in control of their relationships. By the same token, there are those who feel they should be "masculine", but would be quite willing to submit to their partner. This may include sex, career, finances, and/or education. >a comeback for my rebuttal of the idea that the value of a woman's >success is that it may someday make her attractive to a man. If a man were to admit it, would you consider him attractive, or assume he was "after your money". >>I see a helluva lotta gripes here that seem to spring from being >>around domineering guys instead of good ones. > >WHOM are you addressing? Did I get dirty? I dropped him the moment >he showed any signs of domineering. In the example given, he was older than you, further ahead (at that time) in school, and had more to gain than you. Did you really expect him to wait for you? >For Your Information, ASSHOLE, he was a VIRGIN. A puny, nerdly JUNIOR >who made ONE mistake and got his ass DUMPED for thinking I would transfer. Oh, a different example. Was the Junior younger than you. If so, he was stupid for thinking you would transfer. >For Your Information, ASSHOLE, the things that impressed my female >friends about me were as follows: Ah, but how many of them were also dating older men? >Cheryl An appropriate analogy might be the person who has invested $50 in a business, recruits a backer to invest $50,000, and gets upset when the backer won't give him complete control of the business. Cheryl, you know better than anyone that success is something which is not handed out on silver platters. If you are attracted to a person who has achieved more success than you, it is not suprising that you have come into conflicts. You have already expressed your contempt for a man who, with more experience and training, would not sacrifice his success for yours. How would you feel if a man with less experience or success expected you to sacrifice your success for his? At least with an 'inferior' man, you have the bargaining advantage. The partner with the greater education, training, experience, and success has a right to expect the partner with less to make sacrifices. If that means the woman has more success, then the man should "give way". There are men who are attracted to women more successful than themselves. True, they are hard to find, and may have to be persued rather than attracted, but they do exist. Here at work, I knew of 5 different couples where the woman was more successful. When those women persued a career path that involved a transfer, the men gladly followed, sometimes sacrificing seniority, position, and opportunities in their own careers.