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From: cheryl@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU (cheryl)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.women
Subject: Re: Yale-Harvard marriage study
Message-ID: <1158@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU>
Date: Thu, 2-Oct-86 18:06:49 EDT
Article-I.D.: batcompu.1158
Posted: Thu Oct  2 18:06:49 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 4-Oct-86 12:34:21 EDT
References: <14915@onfcanim.UUCP> <519@randvax.UUCP>
Reply-To: cheryl@batcomputer.UUCP (cheryl)
Distribution: net
Organization: Theory Center, Cornell University, Ithaca NY
Lines: 108
Keywords: bitch, bitch, bitch
Xref: watmath soc.singles:312 soc.women:214


>>>I see a helluva lotta gripes here that seem to spring from being
>>>around domineering guys instead of good ones.
>>
>>WHOM are you addressing?  Did I get dirty?  I dropped him the moment 
>>he showed any signs of domineering.  
>
>In the example given, he was older than you, further ahead (at that time)
>in school, and had more to gain than you.  Did you really expect him
>to wait for you?

No, when he started making plans to leave, I assumed he was leaving.
It didn't occur to me that there should be anything more to it than
that.  The minute he started talking about going to graduate school
somewhere else, I just figured it was over.  

>Oh, a different example.  Was the Junior younger than you.  If so, he was
>stupid for thinking you would transfer.

No same example.  He was a junior when we started.  He didn't start getting 
uppity until his senior year.  It was no skin off my back to dump him.  It 
was his loss.  

>Ah, but how many of them were also dating older men?

Oh, what is this OLDER MAN crap?  Someone who is a year or two 
older is an OLDER MAN WITH ALL THIS TRAINING AND EXPERIENCE AND
PROMISE AND BIG INVESTMENT IN HIS CAREER.  What a crock of baloney.

He's just some guy that has taken a few more courses.  Just toodling 
along in the right lane at 55.  What a chump.  He thought I would 
stay behind him for eternity.  I passed him going 85.  VROOOOM!

>An appropriate analogy might be the person who has invested $50 in
>a business, recruits a backer to invest $50,000, and gets upset
>when the backer won't give him complete control of the business.

Yes.  Quite correct.  I was being asked to sacrifice my whole future.
Of course I insisted on complete control.

>Cheryl, you know better than anyone that success is something which
>is not handed out on silver platters.  If you are attracted to a person
>who has achieved more success than you, it is not suprising that you
>have come into conflicts.

Why do you automatically define someone who is merely a year or two ahead
in school as someone who has achieved more success?  Sheesh!  

>You have already expressed your contempt for a man who, with more experience
>and training, would not sacrifice his success for yours.  How would you
>feel if a man with less experience or success expected you to sacrifice
>your success for his?

I don't discriminate on the basis of age.  ANY man who tries to con me 
with this "you follow me" routine is history.  ME FIRST.  

>At least with an 'inferior' man, you have the bargaining advantage.

The ultimate bargaining advantage is to be willing to dump the guy.

>The partner with the greater education, training, experience, and success
>has a right to expect the partner with less to make sacrifices.  

Oh, I see.  So the derivative of the advancement rate is not to be
taken into account.  What DOES matter in your equation is an integral
of past education, training, experience and success from the moment
of birth until the present.  How do you weight each of those four 
things?  I mean does someone with a Ph.D. in anthropolgy count more
than a B.S.E.E., because the Ph.D. in anthropolgy has more education?  
Or does the B.S.E.E. get to pick the city they live in because she makes 
more money?  Or, does the Ph.D. in anthropology get fi