Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbatt!ihnp4!ihlpl!catalog1
From: catalog1@ihlpl.UUCP (DeRaimes)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: What is attrative?
Message-ID: <1389@ihlpl.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 9-Oct-86 10:47:45 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihlpl.1389
Posted: Thu Oct  9 10:47:45 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 11-Oct-86 03:34:05 EDT
References: <263@zen.BERKELEY.EDU>
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL
Lines: 45

> 
> I'd like to find out what YOU think are the most important qualities
> that make a person (male or female) attractive.  What are the 
> qualities that make a good relationship, etc.?  I think the most
> important things I see in a person are honesty and sincerity.

I agree with the honesty and sincerity part, but also feel that the
person has to have a strong caring for me and be a good friend.If you
can't be friends first your not going to have a long lasting relationship.
Also, along the honesty bit, I feel that trust is very important in a 
relationship. If you don't trust a person you sure aren't going to be
honest with them.Trust, for those that are about to FLAME this, in my 
opinion, will never be a perfect trust. Because we are human, we can
not give 100% trust to our partners.We don't give 100% trust to our
selves.
> 
> Since I recently got out of a relationship, I'd also like to
> find out what some of the most common causes for people to
> breakup are, even if they had been together for a long time.
> I feel that many breakups occur because one person cheated
> on the other or one person was not being totally honest.

I feel that sometimes when people break up its because of 
insecurity.One or both of the people feel that their partner
wants to see other people and in an escape mode they try to
feel the same way.In doing so they create a lie to themselves
and convince themselves that they want to see other people.This
could break up any relationship.

   For the record, I have thought about seeing other people. In these
thoughts I have noticed that the personality traits in my fantasy dates
matches one or two of the personality traits that my present SO
already has. This means that what I desire from the fantasies I
already have in my SO. So why look somewere else? Fantasy.

   These thoughts can be read by your SO and unless you realise that
they are fantasies you will create insecurity in your SO. This has 
caused a problem in my relationship, but thank the lord, it is now
resolved.

                     FU CHEW (not just a candybar anymore)

P.S. If you think that your partner is cheating on you, then they
     might end up doing so whether or not they where doing so
     before you thought this.