Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!yale!husc6!panda!genrad!mit-eddie!nessus From: nessus@mit-eddie.MIT.EDU (Doug Alan) Newsgroups: soc.singles Subject: "A Date With Doug?" Survey Results Message-ID: <3478@mit-eddie.MIT.EDU> Date: Wed, 15-Oct-86 13:35:53 EDT Article-I.D.: mit-eddi.3478 Posted: Wed Oct 15 13:35:53 1986 Date-Received: Thu, 16-Oct-86 20:43:32 EDT Reply-To: nessus@mit-eddie.UUCP (Doug Alan) Organization: MIT, EE/CS Computer Facilities, Cambridge, MA Lines: 137 Remember my posting "A Date with Doug?" The one where I asked out every woman on the net? The one with the rejection form? "How could I possibly forget???" you say? Well, a lot of people wanted to know the results of my survey, so here they are.... THE DOUG ALAN REJECTION SURVEY RESULTS -------------------------------------- Strangely enough, I got a bunch of rejections from guys who won't go out with me for various reasons: - I'm too smart and witty. - I would neglect him for Kate Bush. - He's heterosexual. - He wants to mess up my survey. - He doesn't go out wih strangers, he's hetero, he can't afford the taxi fare from San Jose, and I'm too interesting and he doesn't want to be overshadowed. I got a bunch of mail from guys who wanted to offer me some advice: - Most women really want to be moderately abused. - I should take up square dancing if I want to pick up chicks. - I should approach dating like selling Amway goods. - Women only want what someone else has. - I should learn to spell "Buddhist" propperly. I also received mail from: - a guy who just wanted to encourage me. - a guy who says that my article was one of the best in the past three months. - a guy who tells me that not a single woman in the state of Oregon wants to go out with me. - a guy (Andy Behrens, burlcoat!andyb) who wants me to recommend him to all the women that reject me. Go for it, gals... - three guys who just liked my article. - one guy who gave me a program for tabulating my rejections. I received many various rejections from women: - She can't afford the plane ticket to Boston. (But she will go out with me if she ever does make it here.) - She can't afford the plane ticket to Boston. - She has to feed a turtle. - I'm a close-minded twit since I believe "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" is about LSD. - She's married and I sound too perfect for her and I deserve better. - She insists I take her out someday, but not right now. - She encourages me to keep trying, but she doesn't go out with strangers. - I'm too cynical. Women do say "yes" every now and then. - She is sick to death of my Kate Bush droolings, her cat is very jealous, her lesbian neighbors are very jealous, she has a headache sometimes, she's frigid when her ____ has been in the freezer too long, she's too busy washing her hair and vacuuming, and she's already madly in love with her vacuum cleaner. - I wrote the most entertaining net.singles posting of the year, but she still won't go out with me. I also, amazingly enough, received mail from some women who say I don't even deserve a decent rejection to help build up my strength and insist that I *do* take them out: - She was upset that I didn't show up at 7 pm like I threatened in the article, and says I'm doomed to the NJ torture chamber. - She says she doesn't want to go out with me because she hates Kate Bush, but insists that I take her out anyway: Dinner at Buzzy's FABULOUS Roast Beef (I pay) then a Barry Manilow concert, then sex-play in my bathtub filled with strawberry yogurt. This hasn't happened yet, but I'm game (if I live through the Barry Manilow concert). - She insists that I drive to NJ and take her out to McDonald's and that we go Dutch. She also tells me that she uses the C shell. I dunno why. - She insists I take her and five other women to the Top of The World. - She inists I fly to Boulder, take her out to the Flagstaff House, an SF movie, drinks, and a Kate Bush concert. (If there's ever a Kate Bush concert in Boulder, I'll be there!) - She insisted that I take her out and she was going to come up to Boston, but then she stood me up. No names will be mentioned, but you know who you are, Melanie. - One woman, lovely in both form and content and who I met at Trudy's party wants to go out to Legal Seafoods with me Dutch the next time she's in Boston or I'm in NJ. (Unfortunately for all eligible bachelors, she's engaged.) - One woman, also lovely in both form and content, asked me to accompany her to dinner and she lives in Boston! We ate at a delicious Korean Restaurant in Inman Square, saw *She's Gotta Have It*, and drank wine at a little cafe in Harvard Square. We had a great time, and have seen each other a lot since then. We are now good friends. So, it all goes to show us something, doesn't it? I don't know what, though. -Doug -- Nessus@Eddie.MIT.EDU {allegra,seismo,decvax!genrad}!mit-eddie!nessus MIT, E40-358a, Cambridge, MA 02139 (617) 253-0147