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From: john@moncol.UUCP (John Ruschmeyer)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Treat 'em like dirt boys
Message-ID: <377@moncol.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 14-Oct-86 00:57:11 EDT
Article-I.D.: moncol.377
Posted: Tue Oct 14 00:57:11 1986
Date-Received: Thu, 16-Oct-86 20:45:37 EDT
References: <56@ritcv.UUCP> <2181@mtgzz.UUCP> <8015@sri-spam.ARPA>
Reply-To: john@moncol.UUCP (John Ruschmeyer)
Organization: Monmouth College, W. Long Branch, NJ 07764
Lines: 53

NOTE: For various reasons, I have not had the chance to follow this
discussion as closely as I would have liked to. Please, therefore, excuse
me if I re-open an old discussion or return the discussion to an earlier
point.

In article <8015@sri-spam.ARPA> gds@sri-spam.ARPA (The lost Bostonian) writes:
>How many of you have been in the situation where someone who you were
>attracted to happened to be going out with someone else, and in your
>opinion, they were treating that person like dirt?  I used to feel that
>way.  Part of that feeling was jealousy.  I used to say things like "XXX
>treats her like dirt ... if *I* were going out with her *I* would never
>do that!"

Interesting observation, Greg. I usually find myself faced with this
situation from a different angle, though. That is, I will find myself
talking to someone I am attracted to when the discussion turns to SO's. I
am then treated to a litany of what a terrible person XXX is (i.e. slime):
how he doesn't call for days, drinks, never takes her anywhere nice, etc.

Frankly, I never know what to do at a time like that. Part of me wants to
be sympathetic, part thinks it should keep quiet, and then there's the
other part- the one that wants to declare my feelings and sweep the young
lady off her feet and run away with her. (Okay a little exagerrated, but
you know what I mean.)

I'm not sure that the operative emotion here is jealousy, though, since the
evaluation of XXX is not mine, but his SO's. In this case, my feelings stem
more from my feelings for the young lady and wanting her to have the best
(me, of course :-).

>The situation is not as cut-and-dried as it seems.  You may have caught
>them on a bad day.  There may be other circumstances.  Or, the person
>may really be treating the someone you were interested in crummy.  At
>any rate, I do not think people like to be treated like dirt.  Some
>become accustomed to it if they have never experienced anything else, or
>some come to feel they deserve it, but I don't believe they like it.
>They may not be able to get out of the situation, or they may be hoping
>for the day when their SO/spouse drops their crummy behavior and their
>good qualities come through.

Ah, I think you hit the nail on the head with that last one. It often seems
that love is blind enough to overlook the bad in the hope of a better
future.

-- 
Name:		John Ruschmeyer
US Mail:	Monmouth College, W. Long Branch, NJ 07764
Phone:		(201) 571-3451
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	This isn't a coronation- this is bad comedy.
						-Galvatron