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From: jailbird@ihu1h.UUCP (Harvey)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: What's is attrative?
Message-ID: <952@ihu1h.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 23-Sep-86 12:29:49 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihu1h.952
Posted: Tue Sep 23 12:29:49 1986
Date-Received: Thu, 25-Sep-86 05:33:18 EDT
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL
Lines: 54


In <263@zen.BERKELEY.EDU> Melvin asks:

> I'd like to find out what YOU think are the most important qualities
> that make a person (male or female) attractive.  What are the 
> qualities that make a good relationship, etc.?  

	Since I date women exclusively, I'll give my views on what
mental and physical qualities I admire in a female partner. 
I believe that intelligence, integrity, and the ability to be funny
are the most important qualities that make up an attractive person. 
I like women who are single, independent, happy, secure with themselves, 
and interesting. I like those who have their own goals, ambitions, and 
a well-rounded education. I prefer my partner to have a healthy sexual
attitude.

	Physically, I prefer modern, tall, dark-haired, fashionable,
smokeless (and that doen't mean she chews tobacco) naturally pretty 
(not a "Fifi") slim persons in their middle-20's.

	Now, before I get flamed for having "requirements" or a checklist
for dates and an "ideal" pie-in-the-sky outlook on people, I want
to say that these are simply qualities I like. I, like most people,
date people that are agreeable and likable to them. My dates don't 
have to have *all* these qualities, but a few here and there wouldn't 
hurt! However, I won't date someome who insists on smoking. The 
discomfort I get from smoking is just too much for me.

> Since I recently got out of a relationship, I'd also like to
> find out what some of the most common causes for people to
> breakup are, even if they had been together for a long time.

	This may be overly simplistic, but I think that it simply 
boils down to two people wanting different things. Namely, both
people must *want* to hold on to the relationship for it to work.
If either one doesn't feel that way for whatever reason, the 
relationship is sure to crumble. Of course, there are hundreds of
thousands of "whatever reasons" to consider: one person wants to
get married/start a family/relocate/date other people/etc. and the 
other person does *not* want to do so. Changes occur and it becomes 
too much work to hold on the relationship. People who want the same
things or who don't mind compromising tend to have the stronger, more
stable relationships.

	Melvin, I'm sorry that you have just ended your relationship.
Sometimes one must accept the fact that when two people want different
things, the differences may be irreconcilable. 

	So it goes.

-- 
Ron Harvey	e-mail always welcomed!	{..ihnp4!ihu1h!jailbird}
"I began to have doubts about truth after it was dropped on Hiroshima."
						- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.