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From: barry@ames.UUCP (Kenn Barry)
Newsgroups: soc.women
Subject: Re: internal conflicts wrt sexual stimuli and so on
Message-ID: <1679@ames.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 27-Sep-86 23:19:19 EDT
Article-I.D.: ames.1679
Posted: Sat Sep 27 23:19:19 1986
Date-Received: Mon, 29-Sep-86 03:15:08 EDT
References: <911@gilbbs.UUCP> <1143@oliveb.UUCP> <529@randvax.UUCP> <1665@ames.UUCP> <152@druxo.UUCP>
Organization: NASA-Ames Research Center, Mtn. View, CA
Lines: 42

From: nap@druxo.UUCP (ParsonsNA):
>> Kenn Barry writes:
>>                                                   Obviously, no one wants
>> to be just a sex object; no one wants to play that role at all times,
>> with all people. But much confusion can arise from a phrase like "being
>> a sex object is degrading", because it's ambiguous. Does it mean that
>> being nothing but a sex object is degrading, or does it mean that playing
>> that role part-time and voluntarily is also degrading?
>
>It seems to me that there is a world of difference between being a sex
>PARTNER and being a sex OBJECT.

	We agree. Sorry if my phrasing added to the confusion.

>In none of my roles in life do I wish
>to be considered an "object" nor do I ever want to treat others as
>"objects."  Being an object suggests to me being passive and used.

	That's the basic idea ;-). While sex should always be, on
the average, a give and take, I see no harm in one partner
being the passive giver and the other the active taker from time
to time, as a change of pace. To take this conversation back to
the "cheap thrills" arena where it started, there is nothing
wrong with a man or woman getting a kick out of admiring a
good-looking stranger's body if it's not done offensively. Nor is
there anything wrong with enjoying such impersonal admiration
from others.
	The general idea I was trying to get across was that
roles like sexual aggressor and sex object can be played for fun,
and are. Being "used" can be quite nice in the right company.

>Ever wondered why "sex object" is traditionally associated with women?

	I know the tradition of male/hunter female/prey. No
reason we have to abide by it. Playing sexual roles for fun
needn't be a sexist activity.

-  From the Crow's Nest  -                      Kenn Barry
                                                NASA-Ames Research Center
                                                Moffett Field, CA
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