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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbatt!ihnp4!cuae2!ltuxa!hrcca!bodhi
From: bodhi@hrcca.UUCP (Bodhisattva)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.women
Subject: Re: Yale-Harvard marriage study
Message-ID: <196@hrcca.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 26-Sep-86 00:57:41 EDT
Article-I.D.: hrcca.196
Posted: Fri Sep 26 00:57:41 1986
Date-Received: Tue, 30-Sep-86 03:36:34 EDT
References: <14915@onfcanim.UUCP> <519@randvax.UUCP> <1078@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU>
Distribution: net
Organization: The Hickory Ridge Country Club
Lines: 98
Keywords: bitch, bitch, bitch
Xref: watmath soc.singles:154 soc.women:102

In <1078@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU> Cheryl writes:
> 
> >  The phenomenon even affects young women in colleges, she noted, where
> >  men of all ages compete for freshmen females. "When a woman gets to be a
> >  senior, her phone has just stopped ringing off the hook."
> 
> When I was a sophomore, my boyfriend at the time was a senior.  He
> EXPECTED me to transfer to wherever HE got into grad school (NO SHIT!).
> Needless to say, I gave him his walking papers.  I wonder if the reason 
> for upper classmen preferring freshmen and sophomores is that they're
> easier to dominate intellectually, easier to beat them down and make
> them feel like they don't really belong in school, take up their time
> with *his* needs, and ultimately make sure that she follows him, she 
> winds up in something flexible that allows her to work wherever he gets
> his big bread, e.g. nursing, teaching school, secretarial work, etc.
> It seems that the point is to get them young before they've had a chance
> to make any progress toward their goals, and keep them in tow,  take 
> a few years off, forget to go back, and never make it off their backs. 

Lotsa gripes from someone who could have dated a frosh and chose to date
a senior.

> An upperclasswoman who has either had no previous serious boyfriend,
> or has dumped any previous boyfriend (and is therefore available)
> has had either the good judgement to keep men at arms length, or the
> good fortune to have them stay away on their own, giving them the
> time and space to develop their own thing rather than being somebody
> else's OTHER. THEY'RE GODDAMNED LUCKY THEIR PHONE ISN'T RINGING OFF THE 
> HOOK FOR SOMETHING AS VACUOUS AND STUPID AS THE COLLEGE DATING GAME.  

Then why did you engage in it?

> >  The escalating divorce rate exacerbates the problem, she said, because
> >  "men have an enormous range of women to choose from" and often remarry
> >  women decades younger.
> 
> And who would WANT the kind of shithead who looks for someone he 
> can dominate and show off to his buddies, rather than his social
> and intellectual equal?  I think this is an ideal way to tell shit 
> from the shinola.  

and it says just as much about the girls (obviously not women) who
constantly choose such guys rather than choose those guys who will treat
them well.

> >  And while personality traits like wisdom and sensitivity improve for
> >  both sexes with age, they are not as highly valued in women, she said.
> 
> >  Younger women have unwittingly reinforced the trend by competing for
> >  older, more successful men, she said, because "men provide the meal
> >  ticket.  Even today, women earn much less than men do."
> 
> Wow, what an insighful comment.  Blame it on them golddigging bimbos,
> and their corrupt sugar-daddies.  

Well, why not?

> >  Citing actress Sigourney Weaver's popularity as a strong, mature and
> >  attractive heroine in the movie "Aliens," Swidler said, "It may be that
> >  if these norms change over time, women's success may become part of
> >  their attractiveness."
> 
> What GARBAGE!! This Swindler person presupposes that the primary function 
> of woman is to be attractive to a man, and that the only value her success 
> can have is that it may make her attractive to a man.  
> 
> Where oh where are your critical faculties, woman?
> 
> Cheryl

Maybe tomorrow I will feel a bit more compassionate, but it's been a
long, rough day and I don't feel any great kindness for girls who take a
running leap into a mud puddle and then bitch and moan when they get
dirty.  I see a helluva lotta gripes here that seem to spring from being
around domineering guys instead of good ones.  Well, nobody twisted your
arm and forced you to choose him.  My own nasty guess based on my bad
mood is that you hadda have a big, cool, studly senior and couldn't be
caught with a puny nerdy sophomore.  You thought you could make yourself
look great and have others envy your good catch, and when you discovered
you would hjaveta make real sacrifices to keep the superficial dude you,
at that rather late and convenient time, caught religion and turned
feminist.  Well, where were your critical faculties beforehand, woman?

So tonight I am going to grumble at everyone who complains when they
receive just what they asked for and grabbed for and got burned by.

-- 
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Bodhisattva					UUCP:  ihnp4!hrcca!bodhi

		     koho chojo manako ni unsho o mi,
			koto tohen wadei gassui

	from the top of the solitary peak, i gaze at the clouds;
	close by the old ferry landing i am splashed with mire.

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